Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap

Marlo Hampton

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, it was Porsha Williams who had a nervous breakdown in Barcelona, even though NeNe Leakes was the one battling demon ex-friends and roaches.

You would think after Kim Zolciak sent everyone – cast, crew, employee at the convenience store near NeNe’s house – a video supposedly showing roaches in NeNe’s bathroom, NeNe would be on a full-scale rampage. Instead she is calm and collected when she joins the ladies for brunch the next morning. It is everyone else who’s saltier than the hairy balls olives NeNe was scared to eat!

Porsha & Shamea in Barcelona

Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta were in Barcelona where the most exciting sight they saw were the roaches (errrr… “water bugs”) in NeNe Leakes bathroom. Hey, I guess it beats some lame sightseeing tour, right?! This was Cynthia Bailey‘s fault – they were supposed to be visiting a church but their wonderful hostess hauled them all the way there only to discover it was closed. So they had to make their own entertainment, and that is never a good thing.

So, Barcelona: beautiful weather, gorgeous phallic buildings, stunning culture… yet all the same drama. You can take the girls out of Atlanta, but you can’t take the Atlanta out of the girls. From the moment the women land on Spanish soil, there is bickering and shadiness.

Kim, Kroy & Sheree

Cynthia Bailey is wandering around red carpets crying with no shoes like she’s at the Jr. Prom, and Porsha Williams is being a peace-maker and starting a vegan cult. What is going on on Real Housewives Of Atlanta?!

Usually the pre-trip Real Housewives episode is a snooze, but last night was the opposite. Maybe it’s because so many episodes of RHOA have been interrupted for important real life events like Holidays and Super Bowls (the butt-implanted Uber driver of Kim Zolciak‘s heart must have watched it pining wistfully; gently touching the TV with his mitts while Kim screamed KROOOOOOOOY in a voice so shrill it could be heard in the next dimension, and then threw a wig over his dreams flatscreen. Kim needs her solo cup refilled – and she needs it NOW!).

Cynthia Bailey is sad about Will

What did Cynthia Bailey ever do to anybody? Other than be too much of a push over? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was unbelievably messy and the poor unwitting target was Cynthia.

Attacking Cynthia is like smacking a bunny. Leave the girl alone to date and learn some tough-love lessons about getting played. Instead of bopping her on the head, her friends should pet her ever-changing wigs and tell her it will be OK. Clearly Cynthia habitually picks the WRONG men, and trying to teach her how to spot a scrub is not working. Even when she has a bonafide expert like Kandi Burruss at her disposal! 

RHOA Charity In Houston

It is the particular ability of Real Housewives to turn the doing of something good (or straightforward) into a giant diabolical mess of bickering, tantrums, and meltdowns. The Real Housewives Of Atlanta headed to Houston to do some charity work after the devastation of Hurricane Harvey but brought a new kind of devastation all of their own making. Thanks, but no thanks!

I don’t want to imply nothing of merit happened on this trip, but competing charity events in hurricane-destroyed towns, complete with all the accompanying Housewives histrionics, may be a new low. Possibly? Maybe I should try to be more positive and instead believe the ladies were so overcome with emotion from their good works and seeing people who lost everything that in turn they lost their heads? Naaaahhh.

Kim & NeNe

All them elephants eh? Well I guess Real Housewives Of Atlanta has turned into a circus, and the elephants are running things!

Sometimes I’m astounded by just how much crap RHOA is filled with. Like Porsha Williams – suddenly it’s her life-long dream to be an actress? I thought that was NeNe Leakes‘ dream? Anyway, now Porsha is doing a play, but it ain’t no Broadway, it’s some local theater but at least she gets to work with the greats like Vivica A Fox.

Real Housewives of Atlanta recap

I was actually really pleased by last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta. In addition to the usual drama and bickering, all the ladies came together to film a PSA produced by Kenya Moore about domestic violence. It was thoughtful, emotional, and really prescient – so here’s to RHOA setting a good example for once! Of course we also had to squeeze in some necessary nonsense.

It’s been THREE long weeks since we’ve checked in on our peaches. They went to San Fran, that ended in disaster, and now the disasters have been toted back to Atlanta in borrowed and fake Birkins and trudged on by Jimmy Choos.

Sheree Whitfield calls her soul mate Tyrone

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love. Sweet, blessed, shady, soul mate from another realm love. Lord these ladies need a therapist. Call Dr. Jeff back in!

It was another NeNe Leakes-free episode because apparently she is in LA and Bravo cameras are only permitted there if they’re filming Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (which premieres tomorrow night). What are our thoughts on NeNe getting to participate like every other episode? Like, she misses half the practices but she still gets to play in the all-star games? Hmm. Well, I guess she did start the team!

First up, Sheree Whitfield meets Porsha Williams at an extremely expensive housing fixtures store run by Prince William’s long-lost brother. Sheree pretends she’s buying $8,000 doors for the “spa” she is installing in her basement, but we all know that’s some BS. When life gives you plumbing leaks, make a sauna! Porsha, to her credit, played along nicely that Sheree could actually afford any of this stuff since she was there for the gossip about Sheree’s bae and the mess that happened in San Fran when Cynthia Bailey fled the winery