So last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was filled with Wig People Problems. Oh, wigs were disappearing and telling tall tales and making excuses and dealing with dog poop and storming out and doing some math wrong and disappearing. There were wignanigans all over the place.
And luckily NeNe Leakes was on hand to provide riotous commentary on every last wigantic. And she finally got to use her Wig Be Gone (sold separately, includes S&H) – and poof! Kim Zolciak, her wig collection, and her stories that change as often as said wigs fled in the wake of a Housewives revolt. And we bid her adieu. Will we miss her? Sure. I mean, she is a snark lovers dream!
Other things happened last night, Kenya Moore's crazy got even MORE crazy as she turned her attentions towards another lady's man. Cynthia Bailey tried to pretend that going on vacation with all the ladies of the RHOA was her dream come true. Yeah, but instead of speaker phone invites (the classic!) we got sit down personalized invites.
Real Housewives of Atlanta'sKim Zolciak should have some extra cash lying around, don't you think? After all, she and Kroy Biermann downsized to Big Poppa's already paid for condo, and you know they are selling baby pictures left and right. So why hasn't she paid for her million dollar wedding? I guess that's what happened when you live way, way, WAY above your means!
While Wig is pretending that everything is hunky dory, there are some people, celebrity party planner Colin Cowie for one, who are waiting to get compensated for their services. It's a good thing Kim has another Bravo spin-off in the works!
NeNe Leakes was lucky enough to land herself on the cover of Ebony Magazine for their 2012 Money & Power issue, on newstands now. Unfortunately Ebony's decision was met by controversy and extreme reaction by many readers, who didn't feel the Real Housewives of Atlanta star represented the African American community or the revered issue of the magazine well.
NeNe is defending her cover and claims she absolutely deserves to be there! “This cover is about money, power, and respect. And it’s about a come-up story and I’m the one that had that story this year … Not only did I come out as a reality star that was very boisterous and vivacious and outspoken and all those things. I flipped that into money and respect. And a lot of people can’t do that," NeNe shared with The Daily Beast.
NeNe also reveals that almost all the criticism against her comes from the African American community. “But listen to me, definitely all of the negative feedback definitely came from my own; African Americans were the ones that were the most negative,” NeNe reveals.
I'm going to be totally honest with y'all…every time I'm assigned a Real Housewives of Atlanta post which involves NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak I hear NeNe's voice in my head screaming variations of "Keep your legs closed to married men" and "WIG!" the entire time I'm typing. It's equal parts awesome and a tad crazy. It's like I have NeNe Tourettes.
We all know that the once besties turned frenemies turned mortal nemeses (Looky there! I just learned the plural of nemesis…informative and educational!) have been going back and forth about the real reason Kim allegedly leaves the show mid-season. There's even a Twitter battle immortalized on the Internet where they spewed insults. Kim claims she quit, while NeNe has her on blast for being fired.
Kim counters with her own spin-off in the works (why would Bravo fire her, it basically promoted her?), while the Neenster cites pre-existing contractual obligations regarding said spin-off. Is NeNe going to law school in between filming her reality show, her sitcom The New Normal, and her guest spots on Glee? Kim's new spin-off is set to premiere in April and is creatively titled Don't Be Tardy…does she owe Kandi Burruss royalties for that title?
"F*** me now, slave – or I'll spend more of your money on Versace china and wigs!"
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was a lesson in living large, but not necessarily in charge. We spent our last day in Casa de Eviction where the Zolciak-Biermann fam was unceremoniously tossed out, left to the mercies of a generic moving company and schlepping 17,000 square feet of wigs back to Big Poppa's condo. Le sigh. My how the delusions of grandeur have fallen.
Elsewhere Kenya Moore continued to rock crazy like it's a pair of Louboutins. I would say she wears it well, but she doesn't. Instead she comes off looking the girl in foolboutins. I think they sell them at Payless. BOGO bitches!
Things begin at Casa de Eviction, where Kim Zolciak, wig askew, is like freaking out. She's got a whole house to move and one day to do it and no one is helping her. So she storms around ranting and blaming the movers for everything. Sweetie is shockingly the voice of reason as she tries to steer Kim in the direction of focusing on the important things – packing her wigs and makeup. Apparently Sweetie wants to spare us a Kim sans her face.
Was she, or wasn't she… fired, that is! It's the eternal question for any Housewife who has since ceased being a Housewife. The latest lady to hang up her wig is Kim Zolciak who recently did the tabloid rounds to insist she quit Real Housewives of Atlanta over negativity and to focus on her own spin-off, slated to air in April.
Well, NeNe Leakes tells a different story and she accuses Kim of some tall, tall tales! “It's so funny how this chick wants people 2 think she quit the show!” NeNe tweeted. “The producers no longer wanted 2 work wit u! Good bye wit the lies."
And just to make sure we all knew who the tweet was intended for, NeNeadded: “None of the girls or producers wanted 2 work wit her! Saving face like all the other ex housewives! U were FIRED! Good bye.”