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Holy majoley.  Nothing about the Kardashian/Jenner krowd shocks me anymore.  With Kris Jenner's talk show hitting special markets this week for a test run, you had to know she would do something ridiculous in a lame ratings boost.  Of course, I'm not the only one who thinks that Kris is hella annoying.  Robert Kardashian's ex-wife has filed counterclaims in the lawsuit waged against her by the Kardashians, and things are bound to get ugly.

Page Six shares that Kris is already using her granddaughter North as a ploy to get attention.  The pimp momager, whose show talk show debuted yesterday, teased about a special guest star when she posted a photo on Twitter and Facebook of herself cradling a baby.  The caption?  "You never know who will stop by our show today! #WatchKris"  You know Kanye West was not informed of this madness!

The show, which premiered on Fox affiliates in Los Angeles, New York, Minneapolis, Charlotte, Phoenix, and Dallas, did not feature any famous newborns with directional names.  Kris told the bummed audience, "I couldn't do that to Kim.  That would be kidnapping," adding that Kim would share Nori "on her own time."  However, Kris did showcase a baby…that belonged to her stylist Monica.  Low, Kris.  Low.

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Keeping Up with the Kardashians - Season 8

What? No Kanye West?  E! released the latest promo pictures for season 8 of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and it's obvious that Kanye wanted no part of this reality TV fiasco. 

Shown in the KUWTK season 8 photos: Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick, Rob Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian-Odom, Lamar Odom, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner

In a sneak peek of the premiere episode, Kim gets an ultrasound to find out her baby's gender. The interesting thing about the clip is that she's accompanied by her mom and sisters, Khloe and Kourtney, but not Kanye.  Don't you think the baby's dad would want to be a part of this big event? Unless, as per usual with this faux show, they did find out together and taped a new scene without him just for the show's purposes. 

The show premieres on June 2nd – the same night as the return of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

TELL US – ARE YOU PLANNING TO TUNE IN FOR SEASON 8?

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I'm thinking about using my legal and blogging backgrounds to start a special kind of celebrity-inspired law school.  Contracts, torts, even civil procedure could be worlds more exciting if you're studying cases based in tabloid craziness…and goodness knows there are enough celebrity legal spats to provide copious amounts of study materials.  I specifically remember studying a case in my wills and trusts class which involved a troubled stripper turned Guess model as she vied for her much older husband's estate after his passing.  Ring any bells?  I'd even invite Harvey Weinstein to be a guest lecturer. 

Of course, all 1Ls would have to take Kardashian Law.  Think about it…the class could cover everything from employment to divorce to defamation.  Kris Humphries could teach part of the course in his off-season!  Speaking of Kris, we've got some news on his divorce proceedings from Kim.  Also, if you recall, Kris Jenner recently filed a lawsuit against her ex husband's widow Ellen Kardashian for copyright infringement, claiming that Ellen sold portions of Robert Kardashian, Sr.'s private journals which were willed exclusively to his children.  This family is a plethora of legal insanity, and I have more to share with you after the jump!

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I am not sure if I know any family that loves famewhoring and lawsuits more than those krazy Kardashians.  I think they'd literally shrivel up if they weren't constantly surrounded by paparazzi and tabloid fodder and legal pleadings and vapidness.  In the divorce that has drawn out longer than the actual marriage, Kris Humphries will finally have his day in court.  However, Kim Kardashian won't be there…she's got perfume to promote, y'all!  Priorities.  Duh.

In other Kardashian/Jenner news, the family that fames together files claims together (sorry, that was bad).  Remember when Robert Kardashian's widow sold his diary?  Yeah, that's coming back to bite her in the arse.  

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In Touch Cover

The Kardashian gossip is just so juicy today, I am not sure which story with which to lead.  Do I start with the Kris Jenner abuse allegations that are penned in her ex-husband Robert Kardashian's journal?  Should I lead with a certain new VH1 star's claims that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were hooking up back during her Reggie Bush relationship?  So.  Much.  Pressure. 

Eh, we'll go with the second rumor first and save the juiciest for last.  Y'all aren't shocked to hear that Kim was cheating on Reggie, are you? 

It's what happens when reality worlds collide…secrets are spilled.  This is especially true when one of the reality stars is trying desperately to promote his first season of appearing on Love & Hip HopConsequence, who calls himself "arguably the best ghostwriter of all times," (and he truly is–I now know from that statement where Kanye got his line from his drunken MTV Award tirade!  Brilliant!) is spilling some deets on Kimye from years past, and he shares why there is no love lost between himself and his former friend, the tiny rapper.

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The Kardashian sister trio is complete again. Khloe Kardashian-Odom finally joined her sisters, Kim and Kourtney, over in London this weekend (after finishing up her X Factor duties).  Khloe arrived just in time for the official launch of the Kardashian Kollection for Dorothy Perkins at the Westfield Shopping Centre.

London LOVES the Kardashians, y'all. Like LOVES them.  Loves them so much they caused a stampede at the mall this weekend! If you take a peek in the gallery (second page) below you'll see shots of the sea of madness!  Police had to talk to the crowd and worked hard to keep things under control.  There were a few reports of injuries and girls fainting.  The shopping center let people camp overnight before the line opened up at 7 a.m.  Media outlets report that "when the number of fans reached 10,000, the situation became chaotic."

That is crazy. Overnight camping for a meet and greet / clothing line launch?  I think someone lied and told them it was a Twilight premiere. 

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Poor poor Kimmie Kardashian, her highly touted phony fairytale wedding continues to turn into her very real drawn out nightmare! And it only keeps getting worse folks!

If you’ve been keeping up with the latest Kardashian drama, you know Kim’s hubby of 72-days Kris Humphries, is pissed about being used as a prop on her E! reality show, and is now exerting his revenge by filing for an annulment on the grounds of fraud. Even better, Kris is making certain the divorce proceedings with Kimmie Kakes are very public and televised! Kris’ move will force Kim and her family to testify…under oath… which will in turn expose the Kardashian shadiness and mark the final nail in their famewhore coffin.

According to the latest issue of Life & Style magazine, “Kim’s freaking out.” A close friend of Kim reveals, “She has no interest in dragging out the divorce or having it play out on TV. Believe it or not, she’s a private person.” Apologies for the uncontrollable laughter that last statement might have caused!

PHOTOS of Kim Kardashian’s Inappropriate Attire At Pre-Grammy Gala!

Just how serious is Kris about this case? Serious enough that the New Jersey Nets player petitioned to have his Minnesota-licensed attorney practice in the state of California. And folks, this isn’t about the money, as Kris has reportedly turned down offers by Kim and her lawyers to give him hush money.

“All of her dirty laundry will be aired, and there’s a lot to air,” states a close friend of Kris. “Kim is a calculating person who does things to benefit her wallet. That’s her top priority! Everything will come out in court – even their sex life.” Indeed, sources close to Kris have revealed that almost immediately after the wedding, and after pocketing $17 million, Kim suddenly had a zero sex drive.

In addition to wanting to prove that Kim, 31, never intended to be married to him for the long-term, Kris, 27, also wants the case to go to court because then any nondisclosure agreements he signed would be void. “When you’re requested to answer under oath, it’s a legal obligation. If he’s asked certain questions, he’ll be compelled to answer.”

As reported, Kris’ lawyers are also planning to question the Kardashian family and E! executives about staging scenes and dubbing words into Kris’ mouth on Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Our expose about Kim and her pimpmomager, Kris Jenner, staging a heart to heart “Dubai” scene will reportedly be part of Kris’ evidence against Kim.

And after all of this is said and done, Life & Style reports the shocking revelations from the divorce trial will could definitely put an end to Kim’s career, if it’s proven that Kim and her series are less than real, they lose credibility – which will could lead to loss of endorsement deals, appearances fees, and fans.

KIM KARDASHIAN & HER FAMILY BOOED AT NBA GAME!

“Kim feels like she’s trapped in a nightmare that just won’t end,” shares her friend. “Everytime she thinks things are getting better, something awful happens and she goes back into a pit of depression.”

Unfortunately for Kim, her family, while being there for her, are still upset that her quickie divorce is bringing them backlash as well. “It’s annoying,” explains another close friend of Kim of how her family feels about being drawn into her mess. “They’ll back her, but there’s a lot of ‘I told you so’ going around.” Ouch!

You can read more about Kimmie Kakes’ latest dilemmas in the current issue of Life & Style magazine.

In other Kardashian news, Khloe Kardashian continues her media tour to promote her E! series Khloe and Lamar, which returns tomorrow.

And of course, the hot topic is the continued rumblings that the late Robert Kardashian is NOT her biological father. During her appearance on The Talk this week, Khloe called the reports “hurtful.” She added: “I’ve heard it my whole life.. Rumors are rumors, and tabloids say whatever.”

However, during an interview with Hot 97, Khloe attempted to make light of the paternity rumors. “Do you know who my daddy is? I don’t either, honey!” she told DJ Swag on New York’s Hot 97 on Feb. 15. “Well I know, my dad is my dad…but geez everyone is confusing me at this point!”

She later got more serious adding: “So questioning me being a Kardashian…do whatever you want, but do not bring my father into it because he’s not here, that’s what I got most offended about.”

Interesting, though, Khloe can also put some of the blame on her skank momager Kris Jenner who has revealed she cheated on her ex-husband Robert. Reports have stated Khloe’s real dad is Alex Roldan, Kris’ hairdresser for over 30 years. In addition to the extremely striking resemblance Khloe bears to Alex, Khloe’s middle name also happens to be Alexandria!

A picture of Khloe and Alex is below, plus a preview of Khloe and Lamar.

[Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com]

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON KIM FREAKING OUT ABOUT BEING EXPOSED? ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE PUBLIC DIVORCE TRIAL? THOUGHTS ON KHLOE’S COMMENTS? WILL YOU BE TUNING IN TO KHOE & LAMAR?

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Ever since Kris Jenner confessed to having an affair with a man named “Ryan” while she was married to Robert Kardashian, rumors have been circulating wildly about her former lover. Todd Waterman, the man in question, is speaking out and giving all the gory details about Kris’ totally tasteless behavior – including revealing that she flaunted her affair in front of her husband! All class no trash there!

Todd, an Emmy-nominated animator and former professional soccer player, is apparently sick of Kris dragging his name through the mud to promote her current book, Kris Jenner and All Things Kardashian. In response, he is speaking out about the nefarious mother’s behavior! Among the revelations he claims Kris told him the Kardashians’ shows are fake – like we didn’t know that!

Todd who was twenty-three-years-old when their affair started, says, “I was attracted to Kris.” Kris was several years his senior at the time and the mother of four young children (now four very annoying adults).

The pair met through mutual friends and embarked on a steamy, passionate affair; which according to Kris meant lots of sex in public places. If you were eating as you read that, I apologize. After a night out, the pair consummated their relationship. “We came back to her friend’s home in Beverly Hills. And our first time [we had sex] was in her friend’s closet. We found a little place in the house and consummated the relationship,” Todd tells The Daily Mail.

“It was a magical night, surreal. I think it was two people who were both open to experiencing something in their life at that time. It was fate, we invited it and we just ran with it and from that point on. We didn’t hold back.”

Todd claims they quickly fell in love and it led to some pretty questionable behaviors from the then mother of four! “The love swept us away. We made our own different reality. It was special, it was a little crazy, a little wild – we didn’t exercise caution or self-restraint. I think we were both very much in love.”

Shockingly, the pair, who pretended to be ‘just friends’, brazenly flaunted their affair in front of Robert! “We did some crazy things. I remember playing tennis at her home with my friend the soccer player Justin Fashanu. And Robert was watching us play. We’re in the affair now and I’m sure he suspected at this point.”

“He was trying to throw me off my game actually,” Todd remembers. “He was just calling out foot fault while I served.”

“We were pretty prolific. You’ve got a guy in his sexual prime and a woman entering hers,” Todd explains. Ewwww… Todd even admits that the couple may have had sex in the Kardashian home! “I don’t remember, I’m sure we did,” he confesses.

Todd even alleges that Kris brought Khloe Kardashian with her when the couple had rendezvous! “Khloe would go out with us. She’d be in the back seat of the car if we were going to lunch,” Todd asserts, adding that she was a really funny, smart kid. Well, she certainly didn’t get that from Kris!

Todd says during the time they were together Kris was his sugar mama of sorts and she paid for everything. Even the apartment they shared together following her separation from Robert, who was tired of her flagrant disregard for their marriage and filed for divorce.

“She was generous. I didn’t have the money for the lifestyle she was leading. She was paying a lot, or it was Robert I guess,” Todd admits. His affair with Kris was so all-consuming he ended up leaving his soccer career behind, since it was low-paying and Kris was funding their lifestyle.

Todd confirms Kris’ claims that Robert discovered the affair by hiring a private detective to follow the couple, which is when things started to go south for the undercover lovers. “When he hired the private investigators I would say that’s when it started going bad,” Todd discloses. “It was the midway point of the affair.”

Todd recalls that one time Robert showed up at his apartment complex, which Kris suggested he live in and apparently the couple considered it their place. This led to an altercation and a high-speed chase! “I remember he turned up at our apartment and he got into the complex. I said we’d call the police, let a little time go by and then I decided to drive Kris back to wherever she had to go.”

“I was driving in an open Jeep at the time. As I pulled out of my garage, it was about 5pm and a sunny day, he comes charging out with a golf club in his 450 SL convertible.”

“He took a swing and whacked the back of my car. I said ‘holy s***, Kris, can I pull over and confront him? What do you want to do?’ She screamed out ‘no, no keep driving he might have a gun in the car. I know he keeps a gun.’ ”

“So we’ve got this little high speed chase going on at rush hour and I’m in a Jeep and he’s trailing me and he’s trying to overtake us. I did a couple of spin out moves and he just kept going, luckily – maybe he got his composure again or something.”

It was after this instance that Robert filed for divorce, causing Kris’ children much distress. When Todd found out about the divorce he feared for his life and worried that Robert would have him “wiped out.” “I would walk into my place a different route, using the back door. I’d just been caught by this man with his wife, he was a high powered person, he’s got friends. It was scary,” Todd confesses. Even Robert’s friend, O.J. Simpson got involved, calling Todd and warning him to stay away from Kris!

Once Robert discovered the affair, Todd and Kris socialized openly together and she referred to his as her boyfriend. “I just remember good times, barbecues, pool parties – it was fun. I would go to events as her boyfriend,” Todd describes. Remember, Todd was several years her junior and likely looking for a good time, while she was married to a high-profile, wealthy attorney and a mother!

Todd, who is now 46, regrets the affair in retrospect, particularly the hurt it caused Kris’ children. “There’s several things I regret and it’s definitely the pain that it did cause Robert and the children specifically. I think it affected Kourtney the most. I know she was definitely affected and I always felt bad about that.” Kourtney has refrained from marrying long-time boyfriend Scott Disick despite sharing a life and a child with him with another one on the way.

Todd also confirms that the affair ended when Kris caught him with another woman. “I think I got busted,” Todd says. “I don’t remember if that’s exactly how it happened. I’m not justifying the action, I was young, not only that I also allowed myself certain safeguards. Because in my mind she was still going home to her husband and still getting in his bed at night.”

He describes being devastated when their relationship ended, but he recognizes it never could have lasted long-term. “There was no way I could support her [Kris] or help maintain what she was accustomed to financially, and with the age difference as well I didn’t see that working out in the future.”

Interestingly, although she and Todd were no longer a couple they continued to hook up! Even once Kris started dating now-husband Bruce Jenner (which ironically was before her divorce was finalized). “I wouldn’t say we were dating, we were still communicating, she was still coming over to the apartment and we were still sleeping together when she had started dating Bruce,” Todd scandalously reveals!

“I would say that she was getting serious with him [Bruce] and we were still occasionally seeing each other and it was messing with my head. I think we just had a hard time keeping away from each other.” Gee… I wonder if Bruce knew this information? Guess he does now!

Todd claims three months after Kris married Bruce, she tracked him down in London where he had moved to escape the drama and cried to him on the phone for approximately three hours! Todd says he has not spoken to Kris since 2000, when Kris tracked him down again and they had another phone conversation.

Todd believes Kris was interested in rekindling their affair! “Maybe she was hitting a doldrum in her marriage because I got the impression that she was open to getting together and then I came back to LA and we would talk on the phone and make the appointment, and say ‘Starbucks today’ or something but she could never get herself to do it. She never followed through and it’s probably best we didn’t really.”

When asked what he thinks of Kris’ sudden fame as the pimpmomager of the skankiest behaving girls on television, Todd insists he has never watched a “full episode” of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

“Kris always worked hard,” Todd allows. “She wanted to make money, her own money. More power to her but it’s manufactured and there’s an audience for that unfortunately. There’s no truth to the shows, they’re all pre-conceived. Kris shared that with me once, that they make it up. It’s mindless, it’s nonsense, like Jersey Shore.”

Finally, Todd touches on the allegations that Kris’ infidelities may mean that Khloe is not the biological child of Robert. Todd again sets the record straight that he is definitely not the father (paging Montel Williams!) because Khloe was born five years before he met Kris. And he believes Robert is her biological father, although he reveals that Kris often joked about Khloe being from another man because of her blonde hair.

Todd also believes he was Kris’ only indiscretion. “To my knowledge I was the only affair she had,” Todd maintains. “She never said anything like she had an affair before me though. To me Robert was definitely her father. I see Robert in her.”

In reading this article its funny to me how strikingly similar Kimmie‘s behavior is to her mother’s. I can see where Kim gets her proclivities for cheating, fibbing, and money grubbing!

Well, there you have it! Kris has some serious scandals in her closet and it’s a little more shocking than I could have anticipated! Photos of Kris and Todd during their relationship are below.

WAS TODD WRONG TO SPEAK TO THE MEDIA ABOUT HIS AFFAIR WITH KRIS? DO YOU BELIEVE HIS SIDE OF THE STORY?

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