Tamra Barney

Tamra Judge

Well, Tamra Judge has tried and tried again to give Vicki Gunvalson the opportunity to do right, but once again that didn’t happen. Things were instead inflamed – again – when Vicki invited Tamra’s ex-bestie Ricky to her party to fuel speculation about Eddie’s sexuality. Tamra insists she’s definitely DONE! hearing Vicki’s lies.

Really? Cause this season of Real Housewives Of Orange County is only half over and then there is the reunion… “Come on! These lies are getting ridiculous,” Tamra protests. “I’m a girl that gets over things in five minutes and gives many chances, but it’s time for me to move on. I can’t listen to her lies anymore. She’s so toxic and delusional, I just couldn’t deal with it.”

vicki-kelly

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County was like a community theater acting troupe doing a play about Real Housewives. The costumes were bad, the over-acting was worse, and no one was winning any Emmys, but damn if Tamra Judge wasn’t trying her hardest!

Can we just stop doing this whole Tamra and Vicki Gunvalson will be friends again thing? RHOC is trying so desperately to insist they both care, with all the fake tears and carrying on and hullabaloo over two women so emotionally divorced from each other they can’t even get angry convincingly. David Beador Lydia McLaughlin crawling on the stairs begging Shannon Beador to just. stop? Yep, that is my reaction to yet another episode of will they? Or won’t they? Can Tamicki ever be put back together again?

Kelly & Vicki

Kelly Dodd never fails to crush an opportunity to rise to the top! Most of us were on her side when Meghan Edmonds claimed Kelly attacked her by accusing Jimmy Dad Jeans of cheating yet failed to mention that she initially accused Kelly of having a boyfriend, but then Kelly undid all her Brownie points by trotting out a rusty ol’Gretchen Christine, Queen Plastine, to further rumors that Eddie Judge is secretly gay.

And even worse, Kelly did all of this to try and sell the idea that Vicki Gunvalson isn’t responsible for the mean and erroneous things she says. Dang does it stab me in the heart to have to even loosely defend Tamra Judge on anything (but I’m doing this for Eddie you guys! It’s like my version of bathroom porn, or something).

Vicki Gunvalson

Poor Vicki Gunvalson. She wants to be a good friend and get along with all the girls so they can have a good old fashioned whoop it up time, until she invites scandalous gossip mongers to her birthday party, then she’s all “Tell me more!”

Vicki started off on the right foot by asking Tamra Judge to coffee. She ended up in the wrong red dress when she continued to facilitate inappropriate speculation about Eddie Judge’s life. Vicki needs Spanx for her mouth, as well as for her red dress.

“When I decided to call Tamra to ask her to go get coffee it was because I’m tired of the fighting and I wanted to make amends. She has been doing everything she can to alienate me with my friends. We weren’t even speaking when Kelly and I talked about it. I don’t know why she can’t let it go and move on,” Vicki complains. Cause: accountability!

Vicki Hears a Rumor about Tamra

Someone once told me if you have nothing nice to say; say nothing at all. Well, unfortunately I’m not at liberty to do that – sorry Real Housewives Of Orange County. I have nothing nice to say about any of you, and the thought of holding it all in makes me want to cry like I’m Meghan Edmonds fake-sobbing in a canyon. Maybe Meghan’s tears were instal-dried by the wind or evaporated. Or plastic people make plastic tears which just clog in their tear ducts and until they’re plucked out and thrown away.

Meghan and Vicki Gunvalson aren’t so different, are they? It’s ME ME ME all the TIME TIME TIME. No one understands and blah, blah, blah…

Kelly feuds With Meghan

On last night’s Real Houseiwves Of Orange County we were all shocked when Kelly Dodd flipped her gender-bending shit and called Meghan Edmonds a bad mom because of her shit-stirring. I mean, talk dirty to me indeed, right?!

This is frustrating because Kelly is in the right about Meghan’s behavior but, as always, Kelly’s delivery and her viciousness get the better of her!

The whole thing started off so promisingly – in a baby store. Amid queries about sleigh cribs or modern cages, Kelly joked with Meghan that perhaps she’s “a lesbo” after a drunken kiss with Shannon Beador. Kelly and Meghan guffaw like Kelly ‘s kiss with Shannon is so trendy and cool, instead of waving from the caboose on Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” train. More prescient is how quickly Kelly and Shannon moved from mortal enemies to K-I-S-S-ING. First comes hate, then comes love, then comes Meghan in the middle!

Does Peggy have Resting Bitch Face?

Peggy Sulahian is defending herself this week, explaining everything from her cancer diagnosis to her thoughts on the secrets of happy and long-lasting marriage. She also weighs in on her Real Housewives of Orange County co-star, Tamra Judge, and her long-lasting conflict with Vicki Gunvalson.

Peggy didn’t appreciate Tamra‘s “selectively reiterated” version of events to Eddie. She says Tamra made her look like the bad guy, but the whole thing isn’t worth her time. “My intention was to smoothen out the rocky patch between Vicki and Tamra, but I now understand that it’s not worth for me to involve myself.” She says that she was only trying to help and shouldn’t be bashed for that.

Kelly and Shannon reconnect

Kelly Dodd has found herself between a rock and a hard place. That rock is Vicki Gunvalson, her old pal; and the hard place is Shannon Beador, the enemy she’s now bonded with. I mean Kelly saved Shannon from Stockholm Syndrome at the hands of Tamra Judge.

After dedicating her blog to the people of Houston, Kelly launches right into breaking down the Real Housewives Of Orange County drama. One such gem is Kelly’s observation that, “If Peggy has resting bitch face, then Tamra definitely has chronic bitch mouth.” True! “I didn’t understand why Tamra said she wanted to give Peggy a second chance,” continues Kelly, “then insults her by saying she has a ‘resting bitch face’?”