Last night brought lots of changes for the Real Housewives Of Orange County. Most importantly they’re all getting along! In a scary, even realistic kind of way. Which means something horrible is probably going to happen that sucks the whole of the Pacific Ocean into Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador‘s bodies so they can turn them into an epic tidal wave of hysterical tears. Am I excited about this prospect… I mean, yes and no.
Speaking of Shannon she has downsized in the divorce. Dreaded words there kids! So if you see a woman living under the freeway in a cardboard box featuring rococo mahogany legs, you will know it is Shannon! Terribly tragic.
Lydia McLaughlin returned to use free advertising for the launch of her new magazine after a long hiatus to contemplating what Alexis Jesus would do as a Real Housewife, and Vicki remained – and remained on the outs with everyone. Heather Dubrow decided she didn’t want to expose her marriage to anymore speculative gossip and quit, so instead enter: Peggy Sulahian. Someone in casting was on Vicki’s Vodka that day!
Real Housewives Of Orange County will return on July 16 and bring with it tons of changes – including two new Housewives: Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter. (I will never remember how to spell that!)
Tamicki love each other – they really love each other! Included in this pile of re-love was Shannon Beador. Who may never really forgive David Vicki, but she’ll never get over him her either.
It was the perfect way to end things. And hopefully they’ll truly move on. After all, just how many seasons can we stretch out the indomitable Brooks Ayers drama (it’s going on 5 seasons now!)? We get it – he’s scum, and Vicki was an innocent virginal angel duped because of her saintly loving heart.
The first part of the Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion was shockingly real as the ladies discussed broken marriages and motherhood. Shannon Beador finally stopped shrieking “WOOOOWWWWW! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! A VOW RENEWAL!” and quit convincing herself that David loves her. Which has always been the real joke. I mean, it’s been over for years – vow renewal and all – but Shannon finally accepted it and moved out. Addendum: David finally kicked her out.
I mean it’s not like anyone believed this happy re-united love story of David and Shannon, although she certainly thought they were this inspiration to us all, but it’s still sad to see Shannon processing everything. Clearly she never saw it coming, which is the saddest thing of all.
The other hot topic was whether Jesus ate Lydia McLaughlin‘s brain, thus making her poisoned by a fear of drag queens. OK, it wasn’t quite that dramatic unless you’re Meghan Edmonds.