I Dream Of NeNe Recap: Dirty Diana


I'm just going to dive right into last night's I Dream Of NeNe because y'all are going to love this.  In the throws of planning this wedding, Gregg Leakes has decided to focus his energy on a new venture–a luxury barbershop!  Can you blame him? He's just as disturbed as I am that NeNe wants to send an evite for their big day.  I'd find something else to garner my attention, too! NeNe doles out Gregg's to-do list, and he is vetoed when he suggests alternatives to the $15,000 cake that is arriving in Atlanta via a first class flight. Poor Gregg always flies coach, I assume. This episode is off to a fabulous start!

The couple goes to check out the gardens where NeNe wants to wed, and Gregg is equally excited about her vision.  New wedding planner Tony arrives to rain on her parade. With the wedding in three weeks, Tony can't make the space work with so many guests without three extra weeks, some construction permits, and a lot of extra dough. NeNe refuses to change the date, so she's going to have to change the venue. She isn't happy about this turn of events. Tony was supposed to be able make things happen!  And he can…he just needs more time (No time, there's never any time! I don't have time to study plan a wedding, I'll never get into Stanford!).  Looks like NeNe's getting married at a hotel, y'all! She's appalled by this turn of events.  Really?  But the evites are the height of class?


Needing to vent about this unfortunate turn of events, NeNe heads to see Cynthia Bailey. Cynthia is hellbent on picking out the perfect shoes for all the bride-maids, and I'm thinking that perhaps NeNe should have read that friendship contract more closely. Was there a bridal party dressing clause? Cynthia is happy to hear that NeNe hired her main man Tony, but she knows NeNe is upset about the venue change. She advises NeNe to let Tony handle the planning since NeNe is going to be busy intervening in bride-maid drama.

That night, NeNe learns that several NBC sitcoms have been canceled, and she's online looking for the news. The New Normal is still hanging on by a thread (at least according to the Internet), and her agent calls to confirm that there is nothing to confirm yet. Well, we all know how this plays out, don't we?

The following day, NeNe has convened all her bride-maids (oh hey, Jennifer Williams!) for a dress fitting, and I am digging her new talking head interview outfit and 'do.  It's very Tron. While the maids are wearing muslin for designing, NeNe has allowed them to design the top half of their gowns. Marlo Hampton is loud and opinionated, and NeNe isn't thrilled when she starts talking smack about the $1100 shoes NeNe just bought her. Marlo also is trying to stir the pot as far as Diana is concerned.

To distract from the cattiness, NeNe invokes her master plan of payback…she's making all of her bride-maids get Botox.  You try to make NeNe's day about you, you get needles stuck in your face. Learn. Some new bride-maid (Dawn) who is garnering for position as NeNe's bestie urges the ladies to stop stressing out the bride, aka, shut up, say thank you, and be flexible. Amen. Marlo immediately mouths off while Diana rolls her eyes.  Hey, maybe they can bond about how much this new girl gets on their nerves!

At the plastic surgeon's office, Laura Govan raves about her vaginal rejuvenation, but the doctor prefers to just work on the women's faces. It is hilarious to see the women at various stages of injections, and Diana is working to recruit other maids to her anti-Marlo campaign. NeNe hopes that their swollen faces and ice packs will keep the ladies from any further arguments.

NeNe and Gregg are touring the hotel ballroom with Tony, but the Neenster is not convinced. Tony urges her to trust him although he can see that she's very wary. Later, the couple heads to Crate & Barrel to register…because they need new home goods? What is wrong with the stuff that they received the first go-round? The sales guy is too enraptured by being in the presence of Rocky from The New Normal to keep Gregg from registering for a dozen hand mixers. NeNe approaches Gregg about the pre-nup, but he'd prefer to pinky swear. NeNe wants to know what Gregg thinks he's going to lose by signing one. Well, duh!  Potentially a fleet of blenders! Only poor Playa is on Gregg's side.

Before the wedding, NeNe tries to one last ditch attempt to bring her bride-maids together at a Spill the Tea tea party…hats and all. She wants to lay out everyone's on the issues on the table.  Yes, this is such a great and productive idea! Diana's recruit asks Marlo if she really called her Chuckles the Clown. Marlo laughs. Of course, she did! She owns it. Marlo should trademark shade. Diana then accuses Cynthia of always reminding the group that Dawn has known NeNe longer than anyone else. Cynthia is so sick of Diana trying to be so competitive regarding NeNe's relationships. It's times like these I know Cynthia is relieved to have that contract! Diana turns on Marlo next who ups and leaves. The other women try to get Diana to bury the hatchet just for the wedding, but no-can-dosville, baby doll! She doesn't care if NeNe is The Wedding Bride.

Gregg heads to see his attorney, and he admits that he is having an issue with the idea of a pre-nup. NeNe has already expressed that she will call off the whole she-bang if Gregg refuses to sign. He's tip-toeing around the subject at home when NeNe gets the news of The New Normal's cancelation. She's upset, and Gregg is super supportive.

The following day, Diana wants to meet with NeNe about the tea party. What? She wonders when NeNe is going to intervene and tell all of the other bride-maids to go jump off a cliff. Is she serious? NeNe reminds her that she is just as much to blame. Why can't they all just get along? NeNe begs her to go with the flow to make it a fun time for everyone, but Diana is tired of everyone ganging up on her. She promises to try harder on the bachelorette trip to Cancun.


[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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