Eden Sassoon is a Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills cautionary tale: 1) Don’t act like you’ve been here for seasons – we just met you and you’re moving into the guest room with your matching LV luggage, your juicer, and your 2.5 dogs?!; 2) Don’t attempt to take on the Twisted Sisters Richards (or expect them to be honest about their lives); C) Do not believe anything that comes from Lisa Rinna‘s lips!
In her final blog of what will likely be her final and only season, Eden departs with some peace love and positive healing by announcing, “Peace out Season 7, you nasty beotch!” Hey – that’s a sentiment that works for me!
But before Eden really, truly says “Buh-Bye,” she reflects on what she’s learned and says part 3 of the reunion finally gave her closure with Kim and Kyle. She explains, “I did feel as though I got to speak more of my truth. I was able to confront certain situations, which I have wanted the chance to confront for a while.”
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A few of those truths that have been “Eileening” Eden’s conscience: (“Eileening” – a verb which means “nagging at; lingering obsessively until adhering like barnacles to the soul; an exhaustive plaguing search for validation of personal beliefs or opinions as represented as truths or facts).
First Eden denies using Kim as her storyline (is “meal ticket” the new “storyline” now?). “I never once wanted to ‘use’ anything as a story line,” Eden argues. “To be honest, if I had to guess what my story line would have been in the beginning before filming, it would have been my flirtation with men and my love for Bumble, honestly! #London” Really? So Eden didn’t do her ‘research’ on the Sisters Richards and the my sobriety tales before signing that Bravo contract?! Uh-huh
RELATED – Eden Says Lisa Rinna Is “Full Of Sh*t!”
“I may never get any understanding from Kim, but it was nice to get some from Kyle,” Eden continued. “When I said at the reunion that I had projected my feelings about my past and my sister onto Kim and Kyle, she actually said it made sense. That’s all I needed to hear, because at that point, I knew she believed my intentions were never malicious.”
Eden is glad Eileen Davidson “really gave it” to Kim over the Game Night argument, and Kim’s attitude and hypocrisy. “Kim has done nothing but yell at me for getting involved that night… which again, WAS TO HELP HER BE HEARD, but whatever. And here she is defending herself for inserting herself into a conversation that she had nothing to do with. #Hmm”
One area where Eden did not receive closure was over the mess between Lipsa, Dorit Kemsley and the little Xanax that couldn’t relax. “The whole problem with this situation, which I have said before, is that Rinna really was joking at my house with the Xanax comment,” states Eden. “Dorit and I were both laughing. It could have been left there that night at the kitchen island. #StopTalkingAboutThat”
She refuses to accept blame for the ensuing arguments and accusations that spiraled between Lipsa and Dorit. “Never once did I lie or say that Dorit specifically asked me if Rinna had a Xanax problem… But #ComeOn, what do you think you meant by asking me if her personality was induced? Induced by what Dorit, Redbull? Vitamins?
Chicken Salad? Give me a break,” complains Eden. “Then to try and turn this situation around on me, try to make it my fault, you must be crazy. You were the one who asked me. You were the one who told people about the Xanax smoothie over and over again… not me. ”
Eden closes by acknowledging that she didn’t make the best first (or every other) impression, but she’s crossing her crystal-friendship-ringed fingers that more RHOBH opportunities are in her future. “I have to be honest; it feels really good that this will be the last time I have to explain myself this season! I know there are still many of you who don’t understand me, and that’s okay… hopefully I will get a chance to show you more of the real me in the future. And for those of you who did understand where I was coming form, I can’t thank you enough for the support!”
When will Bravo learn that pseudo-spirituality richie-hippies pretending to have all the inner peace answers just do not jive with with Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills?! It failed with Carlton Gebbia, it was a dud with Yolanda Hadid, and now Eden joins the ranks of holistic helpers who ended up confusing viewers more than amusing them. I know this is an integral part of the California scene, but can’t they consult a better crystal ball when picking their zen Housewives? Like can we just bring back Linda Thompson!? Or some mogul producer’s wife who dabbles in reading tea leaves on the Lions Gate soundstage?
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[Photo Credit: Nicole Weingart/Bravo]