Oh, the men on Below Deck strike again. This franchise is cursed by toxic, ridiculous men, isn’t it? And Below Deck Sailing Yacht proves to be no exception! Last night’s chief offenders where Adam Glick (duh) and Parker McCown who has the emotional reserves of a toddler and the coping skills of a drunk frat boy being told the keg is empty.
Well, at least the charter guests were lovely! Both to look at and interact with. Maisa, the primary, is a scout for Playboy Slovenia which sounds like the type of job one has as a glorified yacht girl turned trophy wife. Still Maisa was polite and charming. Most of the guests this season have been great – and even those who sucked as people were at least good tippers. Maybe sail boats put people in better moods than motor yachts?
Adam has his manties in a twist because it turns out that Jenna MacGillivray and Georgia Grobler have a shared ex-boyfriend named Johan. Jenna dated him for a couple months and finds this random connection hilarious. Her current boyfriend Adam — not so much. Adam literally rips Georgia a new one for making a joke about it. Georiga is visibly shaken as she tells Jenna about Adam’s reaction.
Adam is disgusted by the thought of Jenna with another man. But why? Jenna is 30 years old and an obvious relationship wreck whose sexual history didn’t start with hauling Adam into the master suite after a sobbing meltdown on the dock.
I want to make jokes about Adam being an arrogant asshole with an inferiority complex, but the bottom line is that this is a serious warning sign. His reaction is what’s truly disgusting! He brushes it off as normal jealously because he really likes Jenna and doesn’t want to think of her with another man, but it’s not that – it’s controlling and manipulative. Georiga recognizes this right away, and Jenna sees it too, but really likes Adam and is making excuses for him. She also hints that she’s dated men like him in the past, plus her father had a serious temper. Instead of telling Adam how out of line he’s being Jenna concocts a plan for Georiga to go into the galley and casually mention that she was joking about Jenna sleeping with Johan, because it never actually happened. WHOA – Jenna – WHOA.
Georgina knows what she’s doing is all kindsa wrong. She’s literally lying to her boss’s boyfriend about her boss’s ex-boyfriend, but she does it anyway, because unlike Parker, she is intent to please. Later Georiga tells Madison Stalker that she’s sad to see Jenna changing who she is to appease Adam, like he’s a giant Jell-o mold she has to conform to. Madison and Georiga both know Jenna’s job performance is suffering because she’s overly focused on Adam.
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Adam calms down and works things out with Jenna, but she should be dousing cold water on this relationship ASAP!
Meanwhile, there are guests to be catered to and lunches to be served. The guests are blown away by every meal Adam puts out, so at least despite his funk he’s cooking at a super high level.
Paget Berry and Parker head over to start assembling a beach picnic for the guests’ lunch. They find the perfect spot, but it’s rocky. Paget tells Parker to flatten it out while he picks up supplies and Jenna. He returns to find Parker using a shovel to literally hurl rocks all over the beach. Paget is confused and when Jenna asks about the strategy Parker snaps at her to “ask Paget.”
Jenna calls him out on his bad attitude, and in response, Parker snaps at Jenna. I’m really confused here — did we miss some things. However, Parker’s attitude and his inability to take direction is a serious problem! He’s a know-it-all mama’s boy who pouts, sulks, and interrupts. Parker needs to tuck his pacifier into his mouth and shut it.
Eventually, Paget sends Parker and his attitude back to the boat to be replaced by Ciara Duggan. At least Ciara doesn’t need constant micromanaging (although she too will bite Paget’s head off!) After lunch Maisa and her friend Barbora decide to stage an impromptu nude photoshoot and pull off the incredible circus trick of balancing seashells on their nipples. Do they teach you this at Playboy camp? Jenna is wowed and impressed. But she has her own tricks: she can balance a tray full of glasses while a boat is rocking!
Back onboard, Madison and Georgia are knocking it out of the park. No longer focused on Parker, Madison is going to bed at a decent hour, and is more focused and composed. Jenna is impressed and thanks Madison for her improved attitude, but Jenna should take note – this is what happens when one’s head is in the game, not focused on a man-child.
After the picnic, Jenna asks Captain Glenn Shephard if she and Ciara can take their break by going for a swim after cleaning up the picnic supplies. They’ve been standing in the sun all day, catering to guests and Captain Glenn is fine with it. Buying Georiga’s loyalty Jenna whispers that she’s also invited. There is a perk to corruption, as our dear friend will soon see!
This, of course, means that Madison is left alone to manage guests. Which shouldn’t be a problem since essentially all they will need is cocktails. Madison doesn’t seem bothered by this, but Parker happens to look out the window and notice the other girls swimming. He immediately decides that Madison is stressed and forced to carry the burden on her own while Jenna recreates.
Madison is not interested in making waves though. She’s finally receiving praise and compliments for her hard work. It seems that all along all Madison was looking for was a little recognition.
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This is none of Parker’s business. Jenna cleared it with Captain Glenn. Although Ciara didn’t inform Paget of the plan which is a problem. Paget is all but impotent as a leader here (don’t tell Georgia about this!). Paget has no authority with Ciara, who turns into part-mean mommy/part bratty teen at every instruction or criticism, and clearly he’s incapable of leading Parker anywhere but off an emotional cliff.
Incensed by the swimming Parker finds himself exploding on Paget in front of guests. Byron Hissey observes the entire thing and pulls Parker aside to talk him down from the edge. Parker whines that everyone is picking on him and it’s not fair that Jenna complained to Captain Glenn when she’s making jokes about him being breastfed. Parker points in Paget’s face and demands to know if he thinks that’s funny, which, honestly, who doesn’t? This time, however, Paget is out of patience and tells Captain Glenn that something needs to change with Parker’s behavior.
Captain Glenn pulls Parker aside and tells him if he can’t reign in his attitude, he’s fired. Parker sulks and promises to make changes, then he attempts to call his ex-girlfriend to complain about how he’s been a “sassy sally” all day. He just wants a little reassurance and ego-stroking, but the connection is so bad Parker winds up playacting a Sesame Street episode about how to deal with being in the grumps to himself.
Parker is also having problems with Adam. Adam is simply being mean and there’s no reason for it. He complains that Parker isn’t cleaning the toilet after going No 2 and honestly, yeah that’s gross and inconsiderate, but Adam just doesn’t like Parker and sees him as low-hanging fruit. Almost the entire crew seems to be conspiring to get Parker fired. But is it deserved? After all, as Paget, Glenn and Byron have noticed Parker doesn’t even seem to have ra udimentary knowledge of the boat, even though he’s been here for 6 charters. Paget is trying to teach him, but Parker doesn’t take instruction because he’s too busy giving it.
That night Parker falls into a deep sleep and doesn’t wake up for anchor watch. He’s 20 minutes late to his 4am shift and has to be woken up by an exhausted Ciara who immediately reports to Paget about this latest infraction. Word travels fast that Parker was late, on top of already being on warning. Soon everyone in the crew is talking about this as if Parker was caught having a three-way with an Oscar The Grouch puppet and a one of the guests. What I’m saying is that yeah, being 20 minutes late sucks, but it’s not the most scandalous thing in the world.
That morning Parker explodes on Paget over moving the tender before docking. Parker yells “THIS SUCKS!” when all the guests (and Captain Glenn) can hear. He’s not alone in bringing his personal dramas to work though! Maisa and Barbora accidentally interrupt a conversation of Paget and Ciara arguing about why she didn’t tell him about the swimming. The deck crew is a mess!
The guests leave in incredible good will and tip very accordingly. It’s nice to see that despite the crew’s issues service hasn’t been affected. Captain Glenn isn’t happy however. He pulls Parker aside for another chat and this time his frustration is evident. Glenn’s problem with Parker is his attitude and emotional instability. Parker is lashing out constantly and doing so in front of guests is completely unacceptable. Parker can’t accept that he is low-man on the totem pole and must act accordingly.
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Both Captain Glenn and Paget want Parker to stay and succeed because they feel he has potential, but he must learn to work within the hierarchy, and stop the histrionics and backtalk. Basically all the things heroines need to do in a Jane Austen novel if they expect to land a rich husband.
Instead of taking the feedback or listening at all, Parker argues with the captain, then tries to deflect his behavior as being the result of Adam being a bad roommate. Parker also tries to point out what Ciara is doing wrong, as if that has any bearing on his own issues accepting authority. Parker finally just snaps that Captain Glenn is “stressing him out” As if the captain should change his behavior.
I think it’s time for Parker to go. He’s clearly not able to handle the pressures of hierarchy and working with the crew dynamics. He’s simply too immature. Who talks to their boss that way?! Especially when Glenn was being perfectly reasonable. Am I wrong?
TELL US – SHOULD PARKER BE FIRED? IS PAGET A BAD LEADER? DOES JENNA NEED TO DUMP ADAM?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]