Marysol Patton

Real Housewives of Miami Season 5 Episode 13: Marysol Patton’s Jill Zarin Moment

Real Housewives Of Miami is getting witchy this week with a girls’ trip to the Bahamas with a side of brujeria. Nicole Martin plans the over-the-top getaway as a redo for the ladies to try and get back to being friends instead of fighting. Oh, and they use Lisa Hochstein’s divorce as a good excuse to head to the beach and have a few too many cockies. Even just watching the way Lenny Hochstein behaves makes me feel like I need a vacation, so sounds fair to me.

The latest RHOM episode titled “Brujeria in the Bahamas” shows the trip starting off on the right foot. But when Julia Lemigova and Adriana De Moura decide to put a spell on the group, the magic starts to fade. Here are five takeaways from the latest RHOM episode.

Lisa Needs Lenny Off Her Mind

Lisa heads to the Bahamas a day later after setting her kids up with nannies and family members (Lenny clearly couldn’t be bothered). The ladies still take pity on her so Nicole gives her the best room, even though every suite in the resort is beautiful. Nicole makes a rule that every time someone says Lenny’s name, they have to take a shot. It’s a cute idea to try to get Lisa’s mind off the divorce, but the execution isn’t that easy.

One of Lisa’s favorite activities seems to be complaining about Lenny to Larsa Pippen. In the first 20 minutes of her getting to the hotel, she says Lenny’s name five times. “I am going to be on the floor sloshed in a few hours,” Lisa jokes. She continues to be reminded of Lenny regardless of what the ladies are doing, proving that Lisa really needs to try to get him out of her head so she can have some peace for a minute.

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Alexia Accuses Julia Of Witchcraft

Julia and Adriana try to do something nice by visiting a botanical shop before the trip to get good luck charms and healing herbs to bring good vibes. I don’t know what they were sold, but it doesn’t seem to be working. The two are spooked when their window blinds keep opening and closing by themselves.

Alexia Echevarria is bummed going into the trip because her partner-in-crime isn’t there. Marysol Patton tested positive for COVID-19 so she couldn’t go, even though she thinks it was a fluke. She says she’s been feeling weird lately so she thinks something is up.

Once Alexia is made aware of Adriana and Julia’s “gifts,” she’s convinced they’re doing dark brujeria on her. She isn’t shy that the duo’s magic charms were “creeping” her out, signaling that the trip is bound to go sideways sooner or later. The bros are clearly not down with the brujeria. Noted.

Adriana’s Hurt Feelings

Adriana is going into the trip in a sour mood. She feels like Marysol and Alexia have completely changed their tune on their friendship with her. Adriana doesn’t understand how the two women who were bridesmaids in her wedding have started attacking her. Particularly, she doesn’t like that they refer to her life as a mystery. “B*tch, you’re just not interested,” Adriana concluded. She vents to Julia and Larsa about it, and Larsa heads right over to Alexia to give her the deets.

Alexia tries to hash it out with Adriana over dinner. Messy Larsa is at it again (with her cultural appropriation braids). Alexia blames the distance on Adriana’s closeness with Julia. The issue doesn’t get resolved, and based on the preview for next week’s episode, it only gets worse from here.

Nicole Knows How To Plan A Trip

The RHOM episode isn’t as drama-packed as usual. Thankfully, Nicole’s extravagant vacation planning provides plenty of entertainment in between screaming matches. The resort they’re staying at is literally a paradise. Their suites are packed with extraness, including rooms like massage parlors and movie theaters. The ladies have a team of butlers at their fingertips to make them drinks and escort them to the on-site waterpark. It’s like a dream come true.

The ladies do a bunch of fun activities right off the bat. They go on an insane waterslide and do yoga with flamingos. Guerdy Abraria, who was excited to “quack” at the flamingos, is a bit skeptical of the latter. “If there are more than 5 birds around me it’s called a conspiracy theory and they’re out to get me,” Guerdy proclaims. I’m screaming. What does that even mean? All of this is to say the trip is the epitome of why we love watching Real Housewives cast trips, and Nicole gets a pat on the back.

Marysol Pulls A Jill Zarin

The episode ends during Adriana and Alexia’s heart-to-heart, which is interrupted by Hurricane Marysol. The Cockie Queen shows up on the trip with a microphone screaming “Hooker” and is clearly in good health. It’s giving Jill Zarin vibes and I love it. Alexia is excited that her best bro is back, but Nicole was looking forward to a trip without her. Marysol and Nicole don’t have the best track record on girls’ trips. It’s why Nicole put herself in charge of all of the games this time around, which is probably for the best.


[Photo Credit: Ralph Bavaro/Bravo]