Guerdy Abraira

Real Housewives Of Miami Season 5 Episode 12: Fat Doctors And Strip Club Finger Food

Thankfully, Real Housewives of Miami Season 5 is feeling rightfully lengthy. Each episode has at least 10 different compelling storylines at the same time, not to mention group dinners and girls’ trips galore. It’s why the Real Housewives of Peacock are the Queens of the franchise at the moment. Even though the season feels so complete, I’m always going to want more.

Peacock aired RHOM Season 5 Episode 12 titled “Apology Not Accepted” which is another riveting 42 minutes of Miami magic. The ladies start planning another tropical getaway in the name of Lisa Hochstein. Now, whether or not she can leave her home to attend the vacay or not amidst her contentious divorce from Lenny Hochstein is another story. The episode had everything, from trips to the fat doctor to Kiki Barth showing off her amateur stripping skills. Here are five takeaways from the latest episode of RHOM.

Alexia Bares All For The Cameras

Alexia Echevarria is an RHOM OG who has no qualms with standing up for herself, no matter how wrong she is. It makes her an acquired taste, but her vulnerability on the show never fails to make for amazing reality TV. In this episode, we see Alexia do it all. She lets her bestie Marysol Patton inject her with a shot that’s supposed to make her lose weight. Marysol ends up administering the mystery mixed shot effortlessly, but not after almost losing her Cockie all over the floor from laughing at Alexia’s fright. It takes some guts to show off your butt injections on TV, and it’s that honesty that makes Alexia so likable despite her actions.

Alexia makes a few bad moves during the episode we’ll get to later. However, another raw moment that’s way more touching than a trip to the fat doctor is a scene with Alexia and Frankie Rosello. They head to the foundation that fans saw a few episodes back to help Frankie assess his skills and needs to build the confidence to join the workforce. Alexia has to accept she has to let go to make him independent. That includes having Frankie figure out his own transportation to work, something that scares him after his life-threatening car accident. Alexia’s tears show how hard it is for her, but it never ceases to amaze me how good she is at adapting to Frankie as he gets older.

The Miami Magic Of Dining Out

It’s the time in the season for me to take a moment and appreciate the little things I love about RHOM. Kiki gets her own moment, but so does the entire cast for being so fun to watch eat on TV. Whether they’re going over to one another’s house for a bite or a five-star restaurant, the RHOM ladies chow down no matter who is fighting. Well, except Marysol. She keeps a liquid diet but even makes that amusing.

During just this one episode, some of the ladies and their Gringo men order a Cuban feast that’s drool-inducing — from chicharrones to maduros. Adriana de Moura and Julia Lemigova have a cute moment out at the Baccarat Bouqitue — so chic. The pair drink champagne out of flutes that probably cost a fortune while dining on the most adorable fancy small plates. It’s like the boujee tea party of any RHOM fan’s dreams, including the dynamic duo of Julia and Adriana as dinner guests.

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Kiki, Larsa, And Lisa Have My Dream Night Out

The stand-out scene from Episode 12 is the epic girls’ night out between Lisa, Kiki, and Larsa Pippen. Sure, it might not be everyone’s idea of a crazy night at the club, but it’s my personal idea of heaven. The ladies go to the strip club so early that it’s nearly empty. They sit down at a booth (a major plus) and order chicken tenders and sliders — another great food moment. While Larsa attentively listens to Lisa complain about Lenny, Kiki drinks her weight in spicy margaritas. After gabbing away for way too long, Kiki distracts Lisa from her sadness by hopping on the stripper pole.

Kiki is my personal favorite part of RHOM. She’s always fun to watch. She gets so drunk so quickly and dances for Lisa, and the unexpecting patrons of the club. Everyone is filming her moves, including the strangers. Kiki makes it her personal goal to get Lisa “some dick” during their night out, even though she says she really needs some herself. I literally spit out my drink laughing. She ends the scene by nearly getting in trouble for dancing on the pole, and the whole ordeal makes Lisa feel better for a moment about her life.

Nicole Just Wants Acceptance

Nicole Martin has leveled up to be a major force on RHOM, and boy is she acting like it. It’s why she threw her black American Express card at Alexia’s lawyer during last week’s episode. Alexia and Marysol have been annoyed by Nicole since she got her mojito, and the AmEx debacle gave them more of an excuse to shade her. (Side note: the pair also criticize Nicole for trying to pay a lawyer with an AmEx, insinuating it’s a card you use at strip clubs. Can any lawyers weigh in on what would’ve been a more appropriate form of payment? It’s just for my personal curiosity).

During the Gringo dinner, both Alexia and Todd Nepola yell at Nicole and Anthony Lopez for embarrassing them in front of their lawyer friend. It seems like misdirected anger at Nicole for simply asking a question, but Todd and Alexia are up in arms about it. Nicole is just shocked that they’re even still mad in the first place.

Ahead of next week’s Bahamas trip, Nicole and Alexia meet up to squash the beef. Alexia, who doubled down to Adriana last week that she’d never apologize, demands a sincere apology from Nicole. Actually, she expected Nicole to call and apologize to her immediately after the lawyer lunch happened. Double standard much? The pair end up making peace and Nicole succumbs to Alexia’s whim, but it just feels like she has to try so hard to be accepted by Marysol, Alexia, and the other OGs. It’s hard to watch, especially when Alexia gets away with the most callous behavior toward her friends. Nicole better be ready to stand up for herself at the reunion, because taking the high road will only work for so long.

Lisa Finally Starts To Understand Her Fate

Even though Lisa gets a nice night out with Larsa and Kiki, she still deals daily with the wrath of Lenny. Basically, Lisa reveals to Larsa that her ex is trying to get a judge to order her out of her home in 30 days. Lenny allegedly wants Lisa to move into a rental with her kids and start house hunting. The audacity. Not only is he trying to kick her out, but Lenny also made Lisa’s trainer dump her. The reason? So the trainer could work out with his new girlfriend. This man knows how to rub salt in the wound. Lisa is finally starting to grasp that she needs to focus on herself rather than wasting away wishing that Lenny would snap out of it. It’s about damn time, girl.

Lenny’s behavior makes Lisa worry about traveling to the Bahamas for the cast trip. She thinks he might take advantage of her absence and move her out of the house while she’s away, or something similar. It seems like a move someone slimy like Lenny would do to the mother of his children. Thankfully, based on the previews for next week, it seems like Lisa gets to get into some trouble on another epic RHOM trip.


[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]