We can’t cover every news story ourselves. Fortunately, there are a lot of great sources for reality TV news and gossip. Check out this links from some of our favorite sites in the May 20, 2019 edition of Monday Morning Tea.
Love After Lockup
This week on Love After Lockup felt like a bridge episode to the final showdown between side pieces and wives, plus a little foreshadowing of breakups to come. Thanks goodness WeTV has added an extra ten episodes after the finale to continue
traumatizing their camera crew filming some of these train wrecks – plus, they’re adding a few new couples to the mix later this Spring!
But for now, we just need to catch up with missing Goddesses and confusing tooth situations. Let’s start with the teeth. Pro: Scott is still wearing his temporary dentures, which GIVES ME LIFE. Con: These new teeth ain’t gonna get him laid.
What can we say about a show that has it all, like Love After Lockup? I mean, we have Dr. Phil wisdom spouting forth from the mouth of Clint. We have video footage of Tracie in prison shackles, happily showing off her new
strain of Hepatitis B prison tattoo. We have Scott spending another $30k on his ex-con, then popping in some Party City vampire teeth to clean up his look. And everyone is suddenly pregnant. Basically, this is trash TV at its absolute finest. And if you aren’t watching this show yet, I have just one question: WHY NOT? Please, I beg you…start living your best life and tune in with us.
There is so much to unpack this week, I almost don’t know where to start. Okay, I do: It’s in Scott’s mouth hole, which I have crawled ALL UP INTO on freeze frame photos on my laptop to dissect exactly WTAF is going on in there. Yes, this is what I’m spending my time on after Friday night’s shocking dentures reveal. We need answers, people. You’re welcome. #Journalism
If we thought Clint was going to come to his senses this week, then we – and the judicial systems of Texas and New Mexico – thought wrong. But, hey, we still have two more weeks of Love After Lockup to find out where Tracie is
buying her mothaf*cking crack holing up, and just how much more dignity Clint is willing lose on national TV. So, like the cat posters in our high school guidance counselor’s office suggest: Hang in there!
While Clint is being counseled on the ways of the world by a man who he’s hired to track Tracie down, Caitlin tries to school Matt on how life works. It goes something like this: You grow up, you get a job, you pay for things. Matt has no idea how to accomplish one of these tasks, let alone all three.
Hear ye, hear ye! The honorable Lizzie – ex-felon, current grifter, and six-figure businesswoman extraordinaire – will be teaching us this week about how to make $800K without ever leaving your prison cell. Or putting on a pair of underwear. Truly, Love After Lockup is all about educating the masses, incarcerated or not. And I, for one, am thankful for the inside tips.
Lizzie’s long-lost protege, Tracie, isn’t faring so well in her recent hustle, though. This week, we find out she’s in lockup again. But Clint, ever the
very slow optimist, is all “MY GODDESS, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER!” as he sits around fretting about her whereabouts and wiping snot on his sleeve. The real victim of this clusterf**k is Mother Clint, who can’t throw a collar on her grown-ass son and keep him within electric fence ranges anymore. Instead, she tries to reason with him. Since this is Clint she’s dealing with, this task is basically Mission Freaking Impossible.
Is there such a thing as “too much” reality TV? We don’t think so. Even so, there are a lot of shows to keep track of! We are here to make your TV viewing a little bit easier. Check out our reality TV listings of shows to watch this week!
You know it’s a good Love After Lockup episode when the one proposal that happened between an ex-felon and her
victim boyfriend isn’t even the main storyline. Sure – this week, we saw Scott propose to Lizzie. But, in more important news: Michael and Megan finally meet up! And their first sexual encounter is just as crazy/gross/disturbing as we could have imagined. Speaking of crazy, Tracie is still on the loose with Clint’s money, rental car, and phone, y’all! Despite the recent Motherf**king CRACK, Mom! moment that stands between Clint and his “goddess,” our boy still holds out hope that she will return to him with minimal new STDs.
Before we dive back into Clint and Tracie’s dumpster fire, let’s catch up with Scott and Lizzie, who take us on a farm fresh field trip this week. Scott is hoping that Lizzie will agree to marry him, so he plans an extra-special proposal in the countryside, complete with a fresh pink shirt, slicked back hair, and both teeth scrubbed. #FairyTale