Real Housewives of New York Season 11 has had a lot of Tinsley Mortimer-focused storylines. No one saw that coming. However, Tinsley’s mom Dale Mercer is doing whatever she can to
be on this season be there for her daughter. Dale has come up to New York City to “get her hair done” several times season.
She even has her own on-camera interviews. No one else’s relatives get that kind of shine on this show. At this point, it’s safe to expect a Dale appearance during the reunion. However, things just got very heavy during the last episode of RHONY. Dale shaded Tinsley whenever possible. To add insult to injury, she complimented Sonja Morgan a million times over. It all culminated in a tear-filled conversation at the end of the episode when Tinsley cried about her breakup with Scott Kluth. Meanwhile, Dale was less than warm in response.
Last night the Real Housewives Of New York went to the Big Apple Circus where Sonja Morgan lifted a random baby from the lap of the mother who was sitting behind her, and held it in her own lap so the child could get a better look at the action. That baby sat there stoically and dry-eyed as the adult women around her sloshed popcorn-essenced cocktails in her face and probably assumed the wetness on their dress was because the baby pooped herself. You know this child was forever changed, and all-knowing from this experience, and someday, many moons from now will be gracing some future Bravo network as a Real Housealien Of Spaceship Villa Uranus in the year 2075.
Especially because just as randomly this baby’s honorary temporary godmother Sonja Morgan, of the Sexy J performing acrobatics troupe, passed her back to her mother, and hiked up her sequined mini dress before vaulting over the dividing wall right into the center ring to join the clowns. It’s as if Sonja was born for this moment, and never has she felt more at home. To somersault in heels, pantomime, and ad-lib, and if Luann de Lesseps doesn’t incorporate The Sexy J random circus into her cabaret halftime show (sponsored by Dale Mercer, of course) than she’s a bigger fool than even I thought possible.
The Real Housewives Of New York never fail to disappoint! They cycle through emotions faster than teenage girls, even though they’re all, for the most part, menopausal women.
We open in the Berkshires where Sonja Morgan is having a meltdown over Dorinda Medley touching the sacred MOOOOOORGAN LETTERS, which really should be under plexiglass like the Guggenheim Bible and the first thong Sonja ever washed in her bidet. “She didn’t desecrate them!” Ramona Singer yells in an attempt to calm Sonja down, but Bethenny Frankel is the expert in psychotic breaks.
Bethenny has a lifetime of experience, after all, so she ushers Sonja out of the room, grabs her face, and performs an exorcism. I also think Bethenny must have hypnotized Sonja with one the 32 diamond rings she’s wearing, because from that moment forward Sonja became obsessed with The B. Back at the table, Sonja is ready to resume partying. Everything’s fine!
I’m beginning to think that next time, instead of going to The Berkshires, the Real Housewives Of New York all just need to take a trip to rehab. I’m sure Luann de Lesseps knows a place!
Dorinda Medley thought she was making it nice by decorating her house like cheesy haunted house, but the Fish Room is no halloween theme! Those are $15,000 taxidermied sword fish (why? how? so confusing?) and it’s a privilege to pass out drunk before their glassy-eyed stare! Also they are there all. year. round. Come Easter they wear bunny ears, come Christmas twinkly lights, come St. Patty’s day a leprechaun hat, but come Halloween they get to just be their creepy selves. Kinda like the Real Housewives when they enter the Berkshires – all their most idiosyncratic tendencies and behaviors come out in full force and they are their most selves.
Take Luann for instance, throwing a haughty fit after learning she was placed in the Fish Room instead of ‘Hannah’s room’ at the front of the house.
Last week on the Real Housewives of New York, Luann de Lesseps and Dorinda Medley ended up in the same room, twice. That was progress (sort of) in their ongoing feud, which is the major storyline of Season 11. First, at Sonja Morgan’s Paper Magazine party where Dorinda told Luann she loved her, which was not-at-all convincing. So only Sonja was ready to kiss
and make up. In this case a “drive-by lesbian moment” with a young stunning brunette.
Bethenny Frankel tried again with the duo at a gangsta lunch, which resulted in a truce. Barbara Kavovit was also there. Dorinda then invited Barbara to her apartment to discuss renovations and the feud. Dorinda used the opportunity to lie when she was asked if she’d been making fun of Luann’s lawsuit with her ex-husband and children. Thankfully, the editors rolled the tapes showing the receipts. Dorinda blamed Sonja before bursting into tears and throwing Barbara out of her apartment.