Oklahoma can finally breathe a much-deserved sigh of relief because the Real Housewives of New Jersey have finally retreated back to the Garden State. The festering animosity between sisters-in-law Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice is boiling barely beneath the surface. Newbie Jackie Goldschneider is seemingly choosing sides. Margaret Josephs is glad to give her friend and OK hostess a break after invading her home with rude, spray-tanned banshees. Of course, she cannot wait to tour Jennifer Aydin’s gauche Paramus Palace of Potties. SIXTEEN BATHROOMS (screamed in my best Dana “TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND!” voice)…
In 2014, both Teresa and Joe pleaded guilty to fraud and both were sentenced to prison time. Teresa served 11 months, while her husband received a whopping sentence of 41 months. Joe, who came to this country from Italy with his parents when he was 1-year-old, never became a citizen. The judge decided to deport Juicy Joe because he “committed a crime of moral turpitude.” What Teresa will do if her husband is deported to Italy is a source of endless speculation.
At this point, Wednesday is the best day to watch Bravo. There were new episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and Real Housewives of Dallas last night. So of course, Andy Cohen had Melissa Gorga and LeeAnne Lockenon Watch What Happens Live last night to dish on everything that went down. As expected, Melissa discussed her latest familial feud with Teresa Giudice. No, this storyline is still not done. Her husband Joe Gorga even shared his two cents from the audience. Then there’s LeeAnne, who has been feuding with D’Andra Simmons and Brandi Redmond all season. For the most part, every question was very much expected, until the last topic of the episode. Get ready for this blast from the past. Melissa claimed that she and her husband do not have relationships with Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pierri. Why is that? Because of the show, of the show of course!
If the Real Housewives of New Jersey haven’t been banned from the fly-over states, it’s a corn shucking miracle! Poor Oklahoma is still dealing with the weaves and wackiness from last week’s episode as the ladies head off to a tense dinner. Margaret Josephs is happy to hear that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga seemed to have smoothed over their argument…although Tre is unaware of how riled up Joe Gorga is after hearing Melissa’s rehash of the nasty breakfast. At the restaurant, Jennifer Aydin is talking about her ginormous house. She has to have an extra “wife” to cook and clean her seven bedroom house. She even has cameras in every room and she does random bag checks before the nanny heads out for the evening. Jackie Goldschneider finds it frighteningly hilarious that Jennifer trusts the nanny with her children but not with her collection of Chanel.
To change the subject, Margaret enlists the ladies in a game of two truths and a lie. Her statements: she used to fool around with her high school gym teacher, she’s only done cocaine once, and her ex-husband used to lock her in a closet when she made him angry. The women are surprised to hear her lie was the gym teacher. They can’t imagine feisty Margaret putting up with that in her marriage. No one believes Dolores Catania when she states she had sex with her ex-husband/roommate Frank Catania last week. Jennifer goes for shock value with tales of playing the submissive to her bestie’s dominatrix, getting a butt lift, and pooping herself in traffic. She was lying about the butt lift. Jennifer was wild before she met her ultra-conservative husband.
Teresa and her daughter Gia Giudice rallied for Giacinto and encouraged Joe to see his father more. Joe claimed that he was so busy with his business. Teresa wasn’t buying it. Both Joe and Teresa dragged Melissa into it. The whole thing is just a mess. It could easily be resolved by a phone call or a lunch date here and there. Nevertheless, it is the focus of the season, at least at this point.
It’s safe to assume that pretty much anyone reading this is thankful for reality television. This gratitude is probably applicable to reality TV Instagram posts as well. A lot of your favorite reality TV stars shared photos from their Thanksgiving celebrations and charity work.
There are some reality TV Thanksgiving gatherings that I wish were filmed. First and foremost, Vanderpump Rules stars Jax Taylor, Stassi Schroeder, Brittany Cartwright, and Stassi’s man Beau Clark all spent Thanksgiving together. Stassi even joked on Instagram, “Why weren’t the cameras here?” Seriously though. That is a great question. Exes hanging out and actually being friends will forever fascinate me.
Speaking of exes, JWOWW and her ex Roger Mathewsspent time with family on Thanksgiving. What is going on with the two of them? Are they just keeping it cordial for the sake of the kids? Are they repairing their romantic relationship? Either way, there were no smiles in the Instagram posts.
Southern Charmstars Kathryn Dennis shared a photo on Thanksgiving with her costar Austen Kroll. Who knew these two were such close friends? Southern Charm matriarch Patricia Altschulshared a picture from her Thanksgiving girls night out. Meanwhile Shep Rosespent some quality time with his mom and dad.
Today I am thankful for witnessing the most awkward, fish-out-of-water weekend getaway in the history of Bravo. I was hoping for a Real Housewives of New Jersey crossover with Sweet Home. All I got was the preemptive simmer of a Teresa Giudice/Melissa Gorga meltdown. However, I am so grateful for last night’s RHONJepisode, and all the wind that wound their weaves. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
The ladies are prepping for their southern safari with the requisite amount of leopard print and rhinestones. Margaret Josephs is thrilled to work on her Hospital Heroes children’s hospital gown line with her longtime friend Polly. Teresa calls her brother Joe Gorga asks him to spend time with the amazing Giacinto Gorga, aka Nonno, while she and Melissa are out of town. Joe is frustrated with his sister’s directives. He’s far too busy with work. He urges a reluctant Melissa to go stand up to Tre in his absence. She doesn’t want to get in between the siblings. She’s been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and has the stripper rumors to boot!
All Teresa wants is for her brother to see his father. However, it’s not really fair (or rational) to put the blame for Joe’s absence on his wife. Sure, it would be great if Melissa could persuade Joe to prioritize his own dad. But shouldn’t Teresa have this conversation with her brother instead of Melissa? That would be logical. Then again, this is Real Housewives of New Jersey. What is logic? Oh, yeah. It’s virtually nonexistent.
Today I am thankful for witnessing the most awkward, fish-out-of-water weekend getaway in the history of Bravo. I was hoping for a 