Heave ho, heave ho, it’s off the dock we go. If last week’s Below Deck Mediterranean felt like a filler episode to reintroduce Aesha Scott, this week certainly ramped up the drama for poor Rob Westergaard. But not before enduring the rest of the drunken charter featuring Johnny Damon and his band of merry pals. Or before dragging out Jessica More‘s heart palpitations from the end of last week into a full-blown medical crisis.
Remember pre-quarantine when Captain Sandy Yawn had a heart attack during SoulCycle? Apparently one in three women die from a heart attack or a stroke. I was not aware of this statistic. But Sandy used the third stew’s heart palpitations as the perfect excuse to inject the episode with a PSA about women’s heart health. First the captain lays Jess down on her couch and checks her blood pressure. She even goes as far as to text a cardiologist friend with Jess’ stats, but the doc says, and I quote, it’s “not that bad.” So, basically the entire medical emergency was all for naught. But I suppose if it helps even one female viewer be more aware of her heart health, it’s worth the tangent. And good thing Jess is OK! Well, at least before she’s about to get her heart broken…
Was there ever a boat-mance with a happy ending on any of the Below Deck shows? Below Deck Sailing Yacht’s Paget Berry and Ciara Duggan don’t really count because they’ve just been living in some kind of time warp, stuck on Parsifal with no other options. They bicker like a married couple and flirt like adolescents. But they are the best we’ve got.
No other couple has worked out once the boat docked and they had to face the real world together. Aesha Scott and Jack Stirrup had promise on Below Deck Mediterranean last season. Until he returned to his ex-girlfriend and they had a child together. Hannah Ferrier gave it a go with Conrad Empson. They didn’t even make it to the end of the season as a result of her emasculating and belittling comments towards him about money. Malia White played two guys at once, one of them being our very own, Chef Adam Glick. Now Adam is in the middle of another turbulent relationship that isn’t looking it’s going to end happily.
Jack Stirrup as a deckhand on Below Deck Mediterranean left much to be desired. His work ethic was consistently low and he blamed Bosun Joao Franco for his lack of inspiration. Captain Sandy Yawn repeatedly had to ask Jack to tie his hair back. The risk of getting kicked off the boat was pretty high until Jack started to change his behaviors.
Finally, Jack found a reason to stay on the boat. Second Stew Aesha Scott caught Jack’s eye and the two started an endearing courtship. By the end of the charter season, the two were walking off the dock together. The boat-mance didn’t last, unfortunately, and Jack went back to his ex-girlfriend without giving Aesha any clarity that he was doing so. He later claimed that production coerced him into expressing deeper feelings than he had at the time.
I’m still trying to get past Tanner Sterback’s puke and rally before he made out with Simone Mashile during last night’s episode of Below Deck . Simone couldn’t have been more happy that her crush reciprocated her feelings, so I guess that’s all that matters. Although I can’t help being curious about she thinks after seeing the episode- the puke part and the moment Tanner told the deck crew that he “went down on Simone last night.”
Interestingly enough, Simone isn’t the only Below Deck cast member Tanner has hooked up with. No, he did not get with his “cougar” crush Kate Chastain… not that I know of, at least. However, he did get with Below Deck Mediterranean star Aesha Scott.
Jack Stirrup from Below Deck Mediterranean came across as as an impish guy. With floppy hair that annoyed Captain Sandy Yawn to no end. A problem with authority. And a sweet blossoming relationship with fellow co-star Aesha Scott. They were two weirdos who found each other in the middle of the open sea.
The show has since ended. And reality has slapped everyone in the face. It appears as though our cheeky brit, Jack, has been quite a busy fella with someone other than Aesha.
Captain Sandy Yawn had her hands full this season keeping her crew in line on Below Deck Mediterranean. First, it was debacle after debacle in the galley with incompetent chef Mila Kolomeitseva. Anastasia Surmava had difficulties with the burners and often sent out undercooked or cold food. Travis Michalzik rocked it professionally, but was reprimanded for reeking of alcohol after a particularly hectic night out. Jack Stirrup only found motivation to
stay on board work in the form of Aesha Scott. Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier got the brunt of Sandy’s wrath and was often questioned about her choices in team management and table settings. But that’s nothing new.
But one person always had Captain Sandy’s good opinion. Bosun Joao Franco was promoted from deck hand last season and did a stellar job, according to the Captain. During the season finale, Joao gave an interview to Sandy’s colleague and received a job offer. So did anything come of it or was it a producer’s stunt to further a narrative. The deck crew versus the interior vying for Sandy’s praises perhaps?
It did seem like Below Deck Mediterranean stars Aesha Scott and Jack Stirrup were a perfect match when Season 4 concluded. It was cute while it lasted! And a little bit gross.
However, they are no longer together and Jack did some super shady stuff while they were still dating.
Last night’s season finale of Below Deck Mediterranean was a tale of too little, too late backhanded compliments. I still think we need a reunion (and I’m super curious about the real reason that’s not happening, but unfortunately I’m not the one in charge over at Bravo) because one of the biggest questions I want answered is why Captain Sandy Yawn turned suddenly on Hannah Ferrier in the last gasps of the season.
Was it just an amalgamation of so many lazy moments that built up for Sandy? Was Sandy tired of feeling like Hannah wasn’t hearing her demands? Was Sandy influenced by Ben Robinson‘s opinion of Hannah?
But, seriously, why is Sandy – on the last day, of the last charter – upset that table is not set at 5am? Meanwhile the deck crew is just twiddling their thumbs. They put the slide up, they take the slide down, you do the jet ski pokey and you shake your whizz all around… Like what guest is going to wake up, and before they’ve had coffee, decide to take a brisk jet ski ride or slip down the slide?