I’m still trying to get past Tanner Sterback’s puke and rally before he made out with Simone Mashile during last night’s episode of Below Deck . Simone couldn’t have been more happy that her crush reciprocated her feelings, so I guess that’s all that matters. Although I can’t help being curious about she thinks after seeing the episode- the puke part and the moment Tanner told the deck crew that he “went down on Simone last night.”
Interestingly enough, Simone isn’t the only Below Deck cast member Tanner has hooked up with. No, he did not get with his “cougar” crush Kate Chastain… not that I know of, at least. However, he did get with Below Deck Mediterranean star Aesha Scott.
Jack Stirrup from Below Deck Mediterranean came across as as an impish guy. With floppy hair that annoyed Captain Sandy Yawn to no end. A problem with authority. And a sweet blossoming relationship with fellow co-star Aesha Scott. They were two weirdos who found each other in the middle of the open sea.
The show has since ended. And reality has slapped everyone in the face. It appears as though our cheeky brit, Jack, has been quite a busy fella with someone other than Aesha.
Captain Sandy Yawn had her hands full this season keeping her crew in line on Below Deck Mediterranean. First, it was debacle after debacle in the galley with incompetent chef Mila Kolomeitseva. Anastasia Surmava had difficulties with the burners and often sent out undercooked or cold food. Travis Michalzik rocked it professionally, but was reprimanded for reeking of alcohol after a particularly hectic night out. Jack Stirrup only found motivation to
stay on board work in the form of Aesha Scott. Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier got the brunt of Sandy’s wrath and was often questioned about her choices in team management and table settings. But that’s nothing new.
But one person always had Captain Sandy’s good opinion. Bosun Joao Franco was promoted from deck hand last season and did a stellar job, according to the Captain. During the season finale, Joao gave an interview to Sandy’s colleague and received a job offer. So did anything come of it or was it a producer’s stunt to further a narrative. The deck crew versus the interior vying for Sandy’s praises perhaps?
It did seem like Below Deck Mediterranean stars Aesha Scott and Jack Stirrup were a perfect match when Season 4 concluded. It was cute while it lasted! And a little bit gross.
However, they are no longer together and Jack did some super shady stuff while they were still dating.
Last night’s season finale of Below Deck Mediterranean was a tale of too little, too late backhanded compliments. I still think we need a reunion (and I’m super curious about the real reason that’s not happening, but unfortunately I’m not the one in charge over at Bravo) because one of the biggest questions I want answered is why Captain Sandy Yawn turned suddenly on Hannah Ferrier in the last gasps of the season.
Was it just an amalgamation of so many lazy moments that built up for Sandy? Was Sandy tired of feeling like Hannah wasn’t hearing her demands? Was Sandy influenced by Ben Robinson‘s opinion of Hannah?
But, seriously, why is Sandy – on the last day, of the last charter – upset that table is not set at 5am? Meanwhile the deck crew is just twiddling their thumbs. They put the slide up, they take the slide down, you do the jet ski pokey and you shake your whizz all around… Like what guest is going to wake up, and before they’ve had coffee, decide to take a brisk jet ski ride or slip down the slide?
Tonight we say goodbye to Below Deck Mediterranean. Since there is no reunion for season 4 this is likely the last time we’ll ever see this crew on our TV!
I have my predictions about who will be returning next season (a Mila/June redemption tour, anyone?!) and whose ship has sailed off into the sunset (Colin Macy-O’Toole). But, overall I’ve enjoyed this season and have a real soft spot for this cast!
It’s the final charter of the charter season which means we’re almost at the end of the rope for Below Deck Mediterranean. The last charter is a bunch of financial guys from New Jersey or Cali or someplace that breeds tools like it does venereal disease and inflation.
The primary is actually named Randy Madrid. Which is a name no one actually has. It’s a stripper name. Or what somebody changes their name to when escaping their criminal past or trailer park childhood. Basically, I expect Season 2 of Dirty John to be about someone named “Randy Mardid” who has 6 fake passports and a couple of baby mamas down in Idaho and Louisiana, and drives a mysterious Lamborghini to his computer job in the McDonald’s lobby. Which coincidentally is also where Colin Macy-O’Toole takes his dates.
On tonight’s Below Deck Mediterranean the final charter guests board the Sirocco for a lovely adventure of fun, sun, and relaxation. Well, that’s what’s supposed to happen anyway…
The last charter means that we’re almost at the end of this momentous season of Below Deck Med. And since there won’t be a reunion (WHY? Did Bravo ever offer a reason? I have my theories…) it looks like next week is actually the finale.