For the past few seasons, it’s been tough for Vanderpump Rules viewers to sympathize with Katie Maloney. However, on tonight’s episode, her own husband, Tom Schwartz, really crosses a line. He talks down to her and humiliates her in front of the entire cast. And, oh yeah, the Vanderpump Rules viewers. Usually, the fans side with Schwartz just because he normally has such a lovable disposition. But, it will be very interesting to see how the Pump Rules fans feel after tonight’s episode. #TeamKatie on this one. This one time.
In other news, the cast gets together to celebrate Jax Taylor’s 40th birthday. Yeah, I know that we celebrate his birthday during every season of this show, but we also focused on his wedding for the first half of this current season. Can we get a break from the Jax-centered celebrations? Please. There are 13,000 other cast members on this show.
We celebrated Tom Sandoval‘s birthday on last night’s Vanderpump Rules and the theme was being extra. As if this group even has to try! Hey, at least it wasn’t more wedding nonsense.
Ugh – every time I reach a place where I kinda like Lala Kent, she goes and acts like a horrific ego-consuming monster whose such a bitch that I’m right back to wanting to smash cupcakes in her face. Super fattening, gluten-y, sugary cupcakes. Lala is a wench. A worse wench than Stassi Schroeder ever was in her Stasstrocious heyday. Lala is Jax Taylor bad. She’s also a dry drunk. Someone who has treated the symptom, not the disease. Lala reminds me of Kim Richards, formerly of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, now of never-to-be-published salacious memoir because Kyle Richards will tie your ass up in cord for ad infinitum. Which is also how long it will take Lala to realize that she’s a horrible human being who is still secretly in love with James Kennedy.
Anyway, these are my preliminary thoughts on last night’s Vanderpump Rules.
We are finally done with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s wedding, way too many episodes later. Especially when there are thousands of cast members on Vanderpump Rules.
We are officially halfway through this season of Vanderpump Rules, and so far it has been feuds galore. We’ve had Dayna Kathan feuding with Scheana Marie over Max Boyens. Then Scheana tried to feud with Charli Burnett over Brett Caprioni. Which lead to a feud between Brett and Scheana because he didn’t want to come over for her famous enchiladas. Don’t you ever change, girl.
Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney have banished Kristen Doute from their coven because of her on again off again relationship with Brian Carter. Lala Kent and James Kennedy made up, but James’ relationship with Raquel Leviss is hanging by a thread. Tom Sandoval almost got “Jaxed” from Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s wedding for saying their heads were in the sand about their pastor. So, is the rest of the season this tumultuous, or does Lance Bass step in and save the day for everyone?
Jax Taylor finally got married on last night’s Vanderpump Rules, metamorphosing from Jax to Jason. Even so Tom Sandoval was the true knight in shining armor. Tom had tampons, tissues, White Claw, vodka, an endless supply of giving and support. What did Jax have besides patchy sideburns and a mistaken understanding that getting married does not allow one legal ownership over your spouses breast implants.
Although how fantastic would it be if Brittany Cartwright threw the removed implants on the table at their inevitable divorce trial?! Which from the mid-season preview seems like it’s coming sooner rather than later. The shelf life of an implant is what – max, 10 years? The shelf life of a marriage to Jax Taylor has to be more like 2.2 years. Maybe 2.4 if there’s an extended separation. And probably more like 1.4 if Vanderpump Rules cameras turn off. Marriage Bootcamp only films for 5 weeks.
Anyhoodle, yes, Jax and Brittany finally finally finally made it down the aisle in the unrelenting sun of a Kentucky summer, leaving their guests to wilt and melt in 96 degree weather without any shade. Except for Tom 1 running around holding out parasols. Add that to his list of positives! After all this Jax only gives Tom 1 a B- or C in the best man performance grade.
We will finally be put out of our misery tonight! We finally get to see Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright get married on Vanderpump Rules tonight! This whole season has been leading up to this wedding and it’s finally here. Praise Mamaw.
Of course, their wedding will have some drama. Kristen Doute and her non-boyfriend [Brian] Carter get into a heated exchange at the reception and most likely end up hooking up after anyway. Stassi Schroeder starts to wonder if she and Beau Clark will ever get engaged. Spoiler alert: they will.
Jax Taylor is really gunning for Tom Sandoval this season on Vanderpump Rules. Tom upset Jax by not attending his “pre-bachelor party” because he was celebrating Mother’s Day with his mom. And again, a “pre-bachelor party” is not really a thing, Jax.
Jax even kicked Sandoval out of the wedding after Sandoval confronted him about having a homophobic pastor officiate his ceremony. Jax and Brittany Cartwright replaced the pastor with Lance Bass after a conversation with Lisa Vanderpump. Of course, Jax went back removing Sandoval an episode later, but Jax has been running his mouth while the episodes air. He has bashed Tom and Tom’s girlfriend Ariana Madix in interviews and on social media. Now, Tom is sharing his theory about why Jax is sooo against him.
Last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules was pretty heated. The countdown to Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s wedding is taking forever and on top of that, they hired a (seemingly) homophobic pastor to officiate the ceremony. Once some of his social media posts went public, Brittany denied that he was “that way” during a flashback clip that was shared during last week’s episode.
However, Lisa Vanderpump had a talk with Jax and Brittany about the man and then they left him the dust, asking Lance Bass to officiate instead. Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix couldn’t believe that it took Jax and Brittany so long to change their decision. Meanwhile, everyone else seemed to be walking on eggshells, afraid to upset their precious Brittany and Jax before their wedding. Apparently, that wasn’t completely the case though, at least according to Stassi Schroeder.