Real Housewives recap

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1: Shaken Not Stirred

by Mary McClellandon July 17th, 2019

I’m just gonna be honest: I was bored watching the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion. Maybe it’s because this season has been so overblown. All the revelations about Lisa Vanderpump not showing were already out and it was just a big old meh. It was big old gushy fake love fest about how Kyle Richards is queen… And Erika Jayne needs one of Dorit Kemsley‘s CLIPs to be put over her mouth.

Speaking of clips, the ones in Dorit’s hair should have read, “Fake” “Broke” “Grifter” “Dog Dumper” “Liar” “Bad Designer” And worst of all, “PK’s Wife.” The rest of Dorit’s outfit looked like a disco ball blew up. Hey, they’re broke so reduce, reuse, recycle to make the most of life on limited means.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Begins Tonight!

by Mary McClellandon July 16th, 2019

Tonight the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion we’ve all been waiting for begins! To be clear we’ve been waiting for this reunion because that means this ridiculous non-season is officially over!

All the ladies and Andy Cohen arrive on set expecting to finally get their long-awaited confrontation with Lisa Vanderpump to demand answers about PuppyGate, only to learn that Lisa isn’t showing up!

Of course this just means the women get to stick to their schtick of talking about Lisa instead of being real and honest about their own lives. That is until new scapegoat Camille Grammer shows up!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Season Finale Recap: Shut It Down

by Mary McClellandon July 10th, 2019

Camille Grammer Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

At long last this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills has come to an end. After how stagnant the last few seasons have been change finally happened when Lisa Vanderpump left the show. Love LVP, or hate her, and she’s certainly manipulative, but are Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave and Dorit Kemsley really victims? Big. Fat. Unaccountable. NO.

That was truly one of the most boring season finales I’ve ever witnessed, and I realized I don’t actually like any of these women. I also wonder what they’re going to do next season when scapegoats LVP and Camille Grammer don’t come back. We all know the producers are going to demand and insist that the women turn on one of their bosom buddies. Good thing all their bosoms are fake!

My theory is that Denise Richards will elevate herself into the New Brandi Glanville. Nu-Ville? Like Nu Villean. And we all know Kyle Richards is going to be upping her anxiety meds due to panic attacks that Lisa Rinna will try to wrench the crown off her helicopter hair whip in a coup to be the queen bee of RHOBH. Kyle is allergic to bees, you guys!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Mo Debt, Mo Problems

by Mary McClellandon June 26th, 2019

Last night the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finally got the bloody confrontation they’ve been snarling for all season, but more importantly someone finally called Dorit Kemsley out on being a fraudster!

Lisa Vanderpump unhelpfully extracted herself from this mess, then Camille Grammer‘s house burned down so the planned confrontation in France was ruined, and these women have been floundering for what to do. It’s not like they can just go live interesting lives with earnest drama. No, they have to pretend their lives are perfect, and have a target for phony argument. They tried with Erika Jayne last week, but Erika took a cue from LVP and simply dismissed them, but back in Beverly Hills there is still Camille….

I hate to be a meanie pants, but was there anything more delightfully Camille Grammer than learning that Camille Grammer is actually close friends with someone PK Kemsley owes over a million dollars to? In a way it came at a rather disappointing time, as the last couple episodes I’ve actually kind of enjoyed Dorit, and not even in a ‘what a terribly amazing imbecile of a character’ she is kind of way, but sincerely.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: What Comes Around Goes Around?

by Mary McClellandon June 19th, 2019

What can be said about last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills except yeah, Kyle Richards is THE WORST.

I’m honestly not surprised the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (led by Kyle and her partner in wine Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave) found a target to replace Lisa Vanderpump and Camille Grammer – I’m actually surprised that target was Erika Girardi. Erika always seems so disconnected and the other women kowtowed by her aloofness, which I suppose, in turn, is why she found herself in the crosshairs of these popularity obsessed middle-aged mean girls the second she opened up a bit.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Croque Madame

by Mary McClellandon June 12th, 2019

Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills traveled to France to visit glorious Provence. Of course these women couldn’t just enjoy the sites and each other’s company, and a new Lisa was thrown under the Peugeot wheels!

Here we are at the Chateau Ventoux, which according to Lisa Rinna is “like Downton France Abbey” except in France an Abbey is a nunnery, so LOL. (If I’m wrong here don’t bother correcting me because I like my joke). The rooms are all beautiful. The surroundings are lush. And unlike when PK smothers her with potato chip crumbs and calls it a blanket, Dorit Kemsley feels like a princess. A real live European princess, who any moment will be woken from this nightmare by a prince who doesn’t have financial problems and will carpet their castle in athleisure wear made by Givenchy and Beverly Reach. Life, really will have purpose for this girl from London, Connecticut.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Jayne Said …

by Mary McClellandon May 29th, 2019

Leave it to the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills to drag out a fight from two years ago, along with a ghost of Housewives past to celebrate Halloween, and also because well, without Lisa Vanderpump what else do they have to talk about? I mean they have stuff to talk about, they just won’t.

It’s the final morning in Hawaii, the day after Camille Grammer tied the knot a second time, and finally, at long last, we get our first sighting of The Agency apparel. I’ve been waiting all of the Hawaii trip – looking for swim trunks, hats, custom-ordered shot glasses, a bridesmaids gown… and on the last breakfast Mauricio Umansky finally just shows up to brunch wearing an Agency t-shirt.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: I Do Swear To Never Tell A Lie

by Mary McClellandon May 22nd, 2019

Congratulations Camille Grammer – you’ve officially broken free of Kelsey and restarted your life with a new man by getting married on last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Gorgeous wedding! Too bad you dragged your way back Kelsey personality along with you for the ride in the clown car to David C. Meyer.

Oh, a lie detector test. Is that what we’re doing now instead of printing out 99 point font textestessss to prove our innocence? I feel like I need to write this portion of the recap in Comic Sans font, because surely this must be some British Humor! Now I’m still team Lisa Vanderpump, but lady – I cannot sit back and allow John Sessa to carry the Pom-Shield and become the defacto Kyle Richards: professional sidekick, stand-in kitchen remodel viewer, and mouthpiece of menace. John Sessa (and his barely buttoned shirt) needs to stick to training puppies to bite PK and leave the Housewives stuff to the big dogs.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

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