Oh friends, we have finally, finally said farewell to this interminable season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. And wow can I just say this show is in peril and I don’t like a single one of them! Part 3 of the reunion was largely a waste of time, so I’m going to spend this recap discussing the RHOBH in general.
There’s not much that can be said about this group except that the lack of awareness and (here comes Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave‘s favorite word!) accountability is astounding. Camille Grammer had it right when she hissed, “Hypocrisy at its finest!”
As the woman all all sat up there railing against Lisa Vanderpump for being manipulative and shielding parts of her life from the cameras, not a single one of them admitted to doing the same thing. So when Kyle Richards decided not to confront Dorit Kemsley about what really happened with Lucy, or confront Teddi about the inconsistencies in her stories and involvement, and instead completely deflected everything onto Lisa? Kyle wasn’t ‘manipulating’?
The only tears Kyle is crying are those for her own tanking popularity. Before the season aired the cast spent weeks bragging to the press that we would finally see ‘The Real LVP‘ yet all we saw was the real them. Shallow husks of people more consumed with ruling a microcosm centered around phoniness and elitism. Also Kyle was the worst dressed at the reunion. She looked like a construction worker on the side of the highway. Which is fitting considering “this group” is directing traffic away from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Lisa Rinna‘s nude lipstick and orange eyeshadow was also doing her no favors against the yellow hair and yellow dress.
The power that LVP has over this group is that she doesn’t even have to be there and everything still revolves around her! The belt Kyle tried to give LVP was actually a fitting stand-in, since LVP has been holding this show up for a couple seasons, right!
Look, I’m not an LVP die-hard. I actually think Lisa needed to go. Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills had become stale and Lisa is much too self-produced. She’s also been disconnected from the show for a couple seasons, and I totally agree with the other ladies that there have been glaring instances of when LVP obviously manipulated the dynamics because she felt unimpeachable. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy Lisa. I do. I love LVP. And this season I have been 100% on Lisa’s side. I just don’t understand why she didn’t stand up and say, “Even if I didn’t orchestrate Lucy being brought out at Vanderpump Dogs, I’m sure glad it happened because Dorit deserved to be called out.” Then she could’ve pulled one right over on Teddi and Kyle!
The dog gate garbage was just that. I also can’t bleive these women thought THIS was the storyline that would push people over the edge against LVP. How totally clueless can they be after years in the spotlight self-promoting? Also who on earth didn’t think this lie detector nonsense was for the show – were they really trying to argue that anyone took it seriously. It was tongue in cheek and silly, as evidenced by a question about a head transplant.
I am so sick of these petty women!!
Also regarding the lie detector test:
At the end all the women kept saying they felt safe, and loved, and protected “in this group,” as if subtly trying to signal to production not to make casting changes. But Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills was largely awful this year and ratings have been sliding for weeks, so… Sure there were some fun parts and I enjoyed Provence, but a reality show needs a ‘villain’ if you will. While we love to see the women getting along, traveling, spending money, and having fun it also needs some earnest and authentic, non-produced, drama. That’s what makes Real Housewives Of New York so amazing. RHOBH by comparison is all fluff now, but worse than that the women aren’t friends in real life.
If they’ve become friends now, it’s not the type of long-standing, organic relationships that make for a compelling arch. In fact that is precisely what made the first 6 seasons of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills so dynamic. The grittiness that seeps underneath the wealth, fame, and glam is this entire show, or it used to be back when it was good. Even Yolanda Hadid Foster Hadid gave us this.
I hate to say it but Kyle without Kim Richards is a big wad of nothingness, because Kyle’s relationship with Kim (and Kathy) is literally the only interesting thing about Kyle. It gives origin to her self-absorption and immaturity. It’s the glimpse into the Kyle she’s tried so hard to escape over the years. And how hilarious that Kathy Hilton is still friends with LVP. Loyalty is not a Richards strong-suit, is it!
The reason Dorit and Erika Girardi keep singing the praises of ‘this group’ is because no one to challenge them here. Or so they think. With all the women making a tacit agreement not to bring up touchy issues and direct all roads back to LVP; blaming her for literally everything that is unsavory or upsetting, they can co-exist in a cocoon of obfuscation. These women don’t have a friendship they have an agreement. And it’s not going to last. We all know “this group,” this safe little bubble of pure friendship (gag me with 100 calorie, 0% fat greek yogurt) is going to burst. Producers will demand it and also Erika appears seething underneath her practiced Mrs. Girardi veneer. She is propping Kyle up to slash Queen Kyle down. Wouldn’t you call that … manipulative? (And also amazing)
The irony is that with John Sessa and Kyle going at it on Twitter, I am super curious about what REALLY happened in PuppyGate. And also, if this very nice woman – a friend of someone who works with PK (or whatever) truly adopted Lucy, why have we heard neither hide, nor hair of her? Why hasn’t Dorit provided proof of her existence or any communication between the two? Instead nothing! Not even communication between Dorit and LVP verifying how LVP might have felt or anything from Vanderpump Dogs declining the home visit, etc. Literally Nothing! Is that not suspicious to Dorit’s ‘friends’? Because none of the other women have pressed her on it. What is authentic about that? What kind of real friendship doesn’t even ask those questions? The real answer is that the women didn’t care, because Dorit was the patsy and a willing one at that, in the greater goal of a way to sideline LVP. It’s not even a conspiracy at this point.
The thing that irritates me the most about Dorit is how comfortable she is living a lie and willingly presenting herself as a villain. Like when Camille apologizes to her – sincerely (for Camille) – for being cruel in mentioning her financial issues, no one points out that what Camille said was true. Not even Andy. Yet Dorit tipped her chin imperiously and pretended that no, Camille’s friend isn’t suing PK. That no, their bank accounts haven’t been frozen. That Camille was completely making things up and talking out of her ass. And the women just sat there, conveniently averting their eyes, except for Denise Richards who has never actually heard of Google. Yes, Camille owes Dorit an apology for being below the belt (a hot pink Manolo Blahnik belt supposedly for LVP). But really, Dorit? Have the self-awareness to at least act humble.
I really liked Denise all season, but there’s something about the dismissive way she treated Camille at the reunion that I didn’t like. Maybe after years of dealing with Charlie Sheen, Denise has reached her quota of egotistical crazy assholes. Camille was a hot mess of insurrection, and I didn’t think Dense was wrong to suggest Camille go take a moment to collect herself, but asking if Camille is on something because she had an emotional breakdown at the reunion?! Girl… this is Real Housewives! Maybe Denise’s quotient for crazy is too high?
As for Camille… She stormed off stage, glamorously, Andy coerced her back, she sobbed and apologized, then left… It’s obvious that Camille didn’t want to be there. Mostly because she didn’t want to be called out, but also she was right: it was all the women on the stage vs. her. Camille certainly deserved flak for some of her comments, like snarking on Denise for living in a rented house, which was super uncalled for, but all these women talk shit about each other. There’s nothing wrong with Camille changing her mind about something, or feeling two ways about a situation or relationship – that’s called normal, and these internal conflicts are the essence of the human condition. Did I just use “Camille” and “normal” in the same sentence? Save me from this Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills!
I truly don’t understand what the issue is between Camille and Denise? Where did it even come from? It seems to me that prior to the finale parties they had largely positive interactions, but then out of the blue Andy was trying to make an issue between them at the reunion? Does Denise merely have a low-tolerance for Camille being two-faced? Other than Denise, who on that stage doesn’t have a problem with honesty!? If this is a pet peeve for the former Mrs. Sheen things are gonna get interesting real quick next season when there’s no one to divert from the obvious.
Also Camille – who cares if Denise cusses at your kids occasionally! They’ve seen worse (#HookerAtThanksgiving) and they seem fine. Lovely, well-adjusted, sweet girls, in fact, and it is 100% clear how much Denise loves them. That was a low-blow and uncalled for. Denise gave Camille salient advice about thinking before she speaks, and remembering that words have impact. I actually find it hilarious when Denise goes all Mommy Dearest and no BS. Dorit needs a dose of this.
Camille is not naturally comfortable with confrontation. She gets all confused and jumbled in the heat of the moment and starts talking gibberish in a condescending tone. She treats reality TV as an acting job that won’t have real world consequences. Also all Camille’s ‘friends’ appear to be paid handlers. Despite all her flaws and obnoxiousness, I still can’t help but feel sorry for a sobbing Camille who has gone through so much these last few years. Too bad Lipsa didn’t give LVP a hug when she was sad and grieving!
The reunion ended with everyone discussing LVP – of course – and blaming her for creating a toxic environment, Kyle fake cried, then they all took tequila shots with a toast. I’m pretty sure Camille hasn’t just left the stage, she’s left the building. We know Brandi Glanville (thankfully!) hasn’t been invited back. So now what? Camille and Lisa were the only thing that happened this season. So all the drama has literally walked out. Seriously – was that a belt or a leash Kyle tried to gift LVP?
No offense to the other ladies, but no one wants to watch a show about 6 women lying to each other about how great they are and to quote Kyle’s favorite phrase, “sweeping everything under the carpet.” We want reality. After all that’s what you – and us – signed up for.
TELL US – WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE ON REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS? DO YOU THINK CAMILLE WILL RETURN?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]