Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards in Dubai

Remember the beginning of the season when all the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills were friends and it was all kinds of sparkly fabulous? Then, Yolanda Foster‘s Lyme disease nonsense turned the show more negative than the presidential election, and at this point, Lisa Vanderpump has had it! She’s had it with Lisa Rinna‘s mudslinging and backtracking, Eileen Davidson‘s snarling, and talking about Lyme Disease in general. Aren’t we all! 

LVP is now making some diagnoses of her own. She ascertains that Lipsa suffers from “rage and regret syndrome,” meaning she “gets easily carried away then thinks later.” YES! YES! YES!

“Dubai was an awful experience…apart from the sea lion party and dressing in our MOO moos, it was pretty damn negative,” laments Lisa

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LVP is shocked that what should have been a fantastic vacation turned venal and ugly

“I absolutely have been guilty of occasionally remarking on sick selfies that had been shown to me or we had seen on Twitter and didn’t really understand her actions regarding her illness, so many inconsistencies were baffling to say the least. But I had no problem in saying that to her face,” reminds Lisa

Not so true for Lisa Rinna! “I think she felt alone in her assertions regarding YF and somehow wanted to include all of us.”

“I am culpable for inadvertently making a statement that hit a nerve, I am culpable for investing in a friendship with LR, and even supported her as she had an outrageous physical outburst and sent threatening texts to somebody struggling with addiction.” Let’s not get on the woe is KimKillah Rambles Richards train now LVP. Underserved

“I lament my choice to be so supportive at that time, but hindsight is 20/20,” remarks Lisa in her Bravo blog. “Foresight would’ve been better.” Forewarning, best of all! 

It is interesting because all the times Yolanda attacked Lipsa, LVP defended her – and also duly called Yolanda out. She did it to her face, and behind her back. So at what point did Lipsa begin to feel manipulated, used, and abandoned? Lisa believes it was her lack of sufficient response to a salacious and never before seen text Lipsa sent to LVP and Kyle Richards. (“I bring this up at the reunion,” LVP warns.) and also a little birdie with an Emmy-sized vendetta.  

“So clearly much has been discussed between the soap actresses, with one evidently wearing a director’s hat, orchestrating discussions to be brought to the forefront, discussions of subjects that had transpired many months ago,” comments LVP. “I was naive as I had no idea until now how aggressively the soap actress pursued her mouthpiece. Shameful, but I suppose she is that kind of woman. She won’t stop until she gets what she wants. Boom.” 

Fast-forwarding to Dubai and the sudden transformation of Lisa Rinna, LVP is no longer confused about what caused the whole simmering mess to explode into a hot ratchety mess of camel milk tea!

LVP says, before Dubai, Lipsa sent an “extremely aggressive” text to her and Kyle “questioning why YF wouldn’t go to NY to see her kids in a fashion show but could go to accept an award for Lyme, a rant that was asking for a response as she was unduly concerned in regard to YF’s choices.” I DO think those are highly valid questions about the manipulations of one YF.

“I responded I had no thoughts I was willing to share with her, as she would accuse me of ‘manipulating’ her, LOL,” continues LVP. “I was being sarcastic but really didn’t feel comfortable engaging in this tone of conversation with LR. She responded, ‘I can only be manipulated if I am manipulable, and I want your thoughts.'”

Lisa claims that at this point she told Lipsa “I don’t like this one iota.” This meaning the conversation about YF

“And that is when everything shifted between LR and me. I believe when I chose not to support LR’s accusations against Yolanda, she then began targeting me. Kyle also defended YF as she was also still included in the group text,” concludes LVP. “I have to say LR should’ve been grateful I had such loyalty to her and didn’t show YF the lengthy text which was pretty nasty and unfairly judgemental.” Eh – why bother with loyalty to YF either! #NotWorthy

Giving her unedited version of what transpired that fateful day when Lipsa’s lips sank all the swans in Villa Rosa with one Wikipedia entry on Munchausen, LVP reminds us that Lipsa is responsible for what SHE said. No matter who else she wants to accuse of guilt, she said it! Ahhhh… the immortal words of Camille Grammer, who wrote the book on calling out pernicious behavior. 

“I don’t appreciate her spinning something. She said it, she should own it,” snaps LVP. “It was a conscious decision that she made. I tried to diffuse the situation in my confessionals in her defense, saying she repeated something rather than manifested it. 

Denouncing the accusation that she tried to coerce Lipsa into implicating Kyle as well, LVP insists that her words were misconstrued – intentionally or accidentally, but most certainly misconstrued. 

“I absolutely remember thinking, oh no, she is going to drag all of us into it, but especially Kyle, as they had more interaction by text (lighthearted banter from Kyle that had sometimes been forwarded to me),” recounts LVP. “We never supported the theory of Munchausen’s, because although her actions were strange – her constant sick selfies and endless treatments – she had been diagnosed with Lyme disease. I believed Munchausen to be when you manufacture an illness.” (Yes, uh-huh…manufacture an illness – precisely!)

Kyle was in my house, 30 feet away as I said goodbye to LR, so as if I would say, ‘Hey, I think you should drag Kyle into this hot mess, yes excellent idea, she is right over there…’ Anyway, I went back inside, still reeling from the conversations that afternoon. Kyle and I discussed what had transpired, as we were still aghast at LR’s statement regarding Munchausen. I then told Kyle I THOUGHT LR was going to drag her into it…and told her as much. I would not have told Kyle that if I had just suggested to LR to include her.”

Lisa insists it “doesn’t make sense” for her to try and take down Kyle – even though Kyle insinuated that was exactly what LVP was planning until Kyle called her out on it. LVP’s blog doesn’t touch on that, but she does insist that even Lipsa agrees the correlation between her counseling Lipsa to “speak from [her] own perspective” and “drag Kyle into it” doesn’t make sense.

“Two words can drastically change the meaning of a statement…” declares LVP. “‘I thought’ and ‘Why don’t’ make a huge difference, but in retrospect, not a lot does with LR.”

I love Kyle, and I don’t understand why she would say that I said to her, ‘I just told LR to drag you into it,'” maintains LVP. “It was a contentious issue, and if I had stated that to Kyle, it would’ve been a problem for sure.” 

All of Lipsa’s sudden reversals of friendship and accusations about nefarious intent from long dormant incidents – the shopping trip with Rambles in Amsterdam, the conversation about Munchasuen, etc. – has LVP speculating that “somebody, rather than something,” seems to be the “genesis” for Lipsa’s aggressive actions towards her.

And Lisa strongly hints that Eileen is that “somebody.” She cautions, “Watch closely, then you decide.” 

As for Eileen’s issues with LVP, those are just as baffling to Madame Vanderpump. Lisa admits by the time Dubai arrived, she had become “increasingly irritated” and “exhausted by the negativity” from Eileen. “I sincerely have no understanding of what I said to ED being so reprehensible that it would provoke so much negativity. However the nastiness that had ensued was contaminating our group.”

“It was deplorable actions of grown women behaving in a way that I taught my children not to,” concludes LVP

You know, the Global Lyme Alliance should actually rescind Yolanda’s award – she’s done the opposite of raise awareness for Lyme Disease – she’s raised annoyance, because I don’t ever want to hear those words again!

TELL US – DO YOU BELIEVE LVP’S ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE DUBAI? IS EILEEN MANIPULATING LIPSA? 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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