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On this nusto episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas, we pick up right where we left off from last week. It’s high drama, booming theatrical music with drums as LeeAnne Locken watches it go down between Brandi Redmond and Cary Deuber. Cary maintains that Brandi made up the earlier comments about the red head’s doctor killing patients on the operating table. Cary feels LeeAnne turned everything around on her and no one’s talking about the threat she made on her life. It’s Cary’s turn in the hot seat. In her interview, LeeAnne says that the issue has always been and will always be – Cary. Back at the cave dinner, Cary is offended and can’t even look at Brandi. She leaves with Kameron Westcott who is too good to be seen in a cave feels bad for Cary. This is the beginning of Cary switching teams. Cut to: Drunken Mexican shenanigans. D’Andra Simmons takes a moment to apologize to her mom for dancing on top of the bar. Cut to: Cary putting another one of her face masks on her newest teammate, Kameron.

The next day the girls get up and are in recovery mode. LeeAnne suggests D’Andra scrub her back. Brandi and Stephanie Hollman laugh over the fun night they had with D’Andra, but not without commentary. “I like hanging out with old people,” Brandi said about D’Andra. (Let’s not forget the comment she said in Memphis about beating D’Andra to getting a facelift)

Kameron is all thrown off that Stephanie and Brandi didn’t approach LeeAnne at the dinner as planned. She says that she doesn’t think LeeAnne knows how the duo really feels about her. Flashback: The hot tub where Brandi and Steph call LeeAnne mentally unstable and laugh with Cary about the boob job. Now, since the dinner, they pose as BFF’s with LeeAnne and are against Cary. Kameron remarks that Cary is the “only truthful person” in the group. Clearly, Stephanie and Brandi are not Kameron’s kind of girls, but why doesn’t she see that Cary flips just as quick?

Onto more important things, Stephanie and Brandi want to find the dildo LeeAnne exhumed from the sand the day before. LeeAnne claims it’s gone – more on that later. All of the ladies gather together to go out for beach activities. Kameron enters and claims she had a really deep night’s sleep and “didn’t wake up until the morning” (??) We’re pretty sure they all did that too. The dynamic has literally changed overnight between Brandi and Cary. In her interview, Brandi admits to feeling upset that Cary called her a liar. She thought the issues between Cary and LeeAnne would be aired out, and it would never turn into Brandi v. Cary.

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D’Andra introduces a team building exercise since the trip got off to a rocky start. (Didn’t these women already have a ‘reset dinner’?) Teams are made: Cary/LeeAnne, Stephanie/D’Andra and Team Sesame Street, Brandi/Kameron. The first thing Kameron asks is if she’ll need armor to protect herself from her partner. This is how you know someone just doesn’t like you. Outside, the hotel staff explains the obstacle course. LeeAnne looks very uneasy. They’re running through sand and then digging for one ball. Cary claims to have seen one ball before. (Shout out to her #WWHL episode where she said she dated Lance Armstrong before she got stuck with Mark). Brandi Elmo calls Kameron “Big Bird”, but not to Kam’s face. Kameron Big Bird claims to have a professional athlete gene in her genealogy (??). LeeAnne is swollen and in pain but somehow wins the volleyball game.

Next up is an “elegant and sophisticated” picnic. Brandi doesn’t miss the opportunity to mock Kam, since that’s how she defines herself in comparison to Brandi. Elmo gives up and laughs it off, saying that Kameron already called her a party foul because of her behavior. “No comment on that one” Kameron shoots back. Switching subjects, Stephanie is asked about her new house. She opens up about switching schools for her youngest son. All the women are receptive to her helping her son with his dyslexia. Switching gears again, Cary has to wash sand out of her vagina. Kameron surprisingly is okay with this, claiming it’s a “medical situation”. Immediately, Brandi questions if this is a double standard. She’s not wrong.

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The Dildo Hunters are back and are on a mission to recover the missing wiener in less than 30 minutes time. Stephanie is dressed as D’Andra, and Brandi as her own good friend LeeAnne. They both share a laugh how seriously LeeAnne views herself. Brandi impersonates LeeAnne to the hotel concierge, mocking her film career and celebrity friends. (With friends like that, who needs enemies?) They score a room key and go in. Steph is distracted by the pancakes and facial products but ultimately finds the XL toy under LeeAnne’s pillow – or so she claims. They’re cutting it close. LeeAnne and D’Andra are making their way back to their room. Dildo in hand, Stephanie munches on some food before taking off.

All the housewives are together and leaving for a boat excursion on a yacht. On today’s D’Andra 101: We learn that the businesswoman has lots of experience in this space – she’s even charted her own yacht in the Seychelles. Everyone’s quite excited and impressed by the large boat. After they pose for a group selfie, Brandi grabs Kameron’s phone. The case resembles a handheld mirror. Never missing an opportunity, Brandi mocks Kam, “Are you like, selfie selfie on the wall, am I the most beautiful of them all?” Shady. The drinking begins and so do the big winds. They may be on a boat, but the tennis match of tit for tat shade continues. This time, Kameron shoots back at Brandi, poking at her, telling her she likes it rough.

Stephanie, Brandi and LeeAnne pose for pictures and Kameron and Cary bond over the fakery of it all. Both are confused after the dinner the night before.  Kameron doesn’t hold back, telling Stephandi and LeeAnne that she’s “extremely confused”. She goes on to say that it’s hard to watch Stephanie and Brandi trash talk LeeAnne, but never took the time to express how they feel about her to her face. Brandi fires back telling Kameron she’s full of shi*!

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Kameron’s stayed quiet too long after bearing witness to LeeAnne’s “friend” Brandi making fun of her at the hot tub three days before. Calling Brandi to the carpet, she asks why she made fun of LeeAnne’s doctor instructing her to use the compact between her boobs. Kameron does not find this to be a laughing matter. She also takes the opportunity to sneak in that Brandi failed to have Cary’s back the night before. Brandi defends herself by switching the subject to why Cary didn’t own all of what she’s been saying behind LeeAnne’s back (the “strangling” comments). D’Andra steps in to settle something else. She asks what was so horrendous that Cary said about LeeAnne’s fiancé Rich that no one could repeat. To her dismay, Cary clarifies that she made a joke that she heard he had a tiny penis. (What happened the “good source” she cited last week?) LeeAnne is not shook by this. In her interview, she zooms in a shot of her man’s package and gives us a *wink*. He may even give Mr. Sexual Chocolate a run for his money.

Cary apologizes but doesn’t end it there. She uses the opportunity to throw Brandi under the bus for laughing at the tiny penis joke. Where’s the loyalty? Rightfully so, Brandi points out that she’s in the middle because they both hit below the belt when it comes to each other’s man. Cary hates on Brandi for getting in the middle. – Look who’s talking…

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When LeeAnne is asked what she said about Cary’s husband, she owns up to saying that Mark runs a chop shop and …. ugh…what else did she say again? Brandi reminds LeeAnne that she said Cary’s husband enjoys getting oral sex at a gay bar. Regretfully, LeeAnne owns it but says it’s what she’s heard. Cary fires back, asking LeeAnne why she repeats lies about a father to young children. LeeAnne claims that she doesn’t care what he does. Breaking the fourth wall, in her interview, she pats her chin and says, “I think it would be awesome to be the first bisexual couple on Housewives, just do it”. LeeAnne is unbothered. Back at the boat, Cary says it’s all BS rumors and not funny.

The waves pick up and 2 hours pass. Stephanie is five shots in and on the deck of the boat face down, heaving. Poor Stephanie, everyone just watches as she struggles to get up. Eventually, Cary (the Nurse) gets up and gives her a towel. Brandi downs a tequila shot to feel better. The boat ride from hell concludes. While the boat safely docks, Cary remarks how she likes to kid around, but LeeAnne can’t do that – she’s dead serious in whatever she says. Brandi says, “I love to hate her and hate to love her”. Ouch. LeeAnne storms over. She tells Cary that she doesn’t have to say something that’s “funny” all the time. In a very real moment, LeeAnne says that she doesn’t laugh at the ugly things she says but owns it and apologizes for it. Counterpoint, Cary says if you don’t like to apologize, don’t be a dick.

LeeAnne points out that she hasn’t heard one apology from Cary, not once. Stephanie jumps in, voicing concern that the old LeeAnne is back when she hears her discussing Mark’s alleged gay escapades. She fears that everything will revert to the way it was last year. Cary admits to lashing out because of the negative comments and it sends her into a panic. LeeAnne gets emotional, explaining that she doesn’t write off her comments as being funny but owns it and that she is “hurting like Ali”. (???) We were with you LeeAnne until you said you were like Mohammad Ali. Anyway, Cary says she’ll 100% apologize for the joke and asks her not to repeat family rumors. Stephanie loosens things up after seriously asking to see LeeAnne’s new boobs. That’s Dallas Housewives for ya!

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Just when you think the storm has passed, sexual chocolate returns. The dildo resurfaces and LeeAnne comments how she’s physically conservative. Kameron is physically repulsed, getting up and leaving. Brandi jokes that she understands sexual chocolate is not invited to THE Highland Park. Brandi intentionally crossed Kameron’s boundaries and is proud of it. She and Stephanie cannot stop laughing. Kameron calls them trashy. TRASH-E. D’Andra instructs her friend not to react but she just can’t relate to Stephandi on any level. Kam wants an apology from Brandi, which we all know is not going to happen. When she realizes this, Kameron says Brandi can suck it. D’Andra and Cary crack up.

Next: Cary tells Mark about the rumors at the Round Up. LeeAnne says that Cary told her that she won’t be friends with Brandi and Stephanie anymore. Brandi is NOT okay with Cary.  Things reach their breaking point with LeeAnne versus Cary and some glassware!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? Who’s side are you on? LeeAnne or Cary?

For even more Reality TV Talk and a look at The Housewives, listen to Grants Rants Hollywood Talk Podcast on Apple Podcasts and all major podcasting platforms.

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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