On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip!
And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary.
Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.” Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!
Albie Manzo and Chris Manzoare having their friends over for a casual night of cards and fun. In true high school fashion, Caroline interrupts the party the party in the basement to tell the boys to keep it down. Brittney is among the guests and Caroline compliments on her top (which happens to consist of a peach-colored Kleenex and some dental floss (bonus: it has pockets!) on her way out. Caroline is a tad concerned as Brit-Brit is showing her face more often than she expected.
On last night’s My Five Wives, Brady Williams comes up with a not-so-bright idea, becomes a grandpa, and celebrates Father’s Day with his 24 kids.
It’s another fine day at the polygamous compound, and Brady leaps out of Robyn’s bed to start the day by visiting each of his other wives for his “good morning” routine. Rosemary is feeling down and out. Noniereminds us that she is still trying for another baby, while Paulie is empty-nesting it and keeping up with her running. All of the wives, and Brady, are feeling like they’re not getting enough time with each other. Brady says his main challenge is “being fair with his time.” I thought his biggest challenge was bankrolling the lives of 29 dependents?
This season on Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is like the final season of Parenthood. Waiting for something awful to happen. Unfortunately, we already know how things end on this show and we must wait to exhale every time Josh Flagg comes on the screen. Every phone call, every conversation, every mention of his grandmother’s name, Edith, is gut wrenching. And this week’s episode is no different. We know that her health is failing. And we know that Josh is carrying on with his work and life because that is what she would want him to do. While it is hard not to see how much pain he is in, the show must go on. A little trip down the Pacific Coast Highway just might be the distraction that he needs right now.
Back in Beverly Hills,David Parnes, who is out for a jog with Maxi and Bella, is summonsed by James Harrisback to the office. Their ‘Rock Star’ client, Zach Vella, is in town from the East Coast. Yes, that Zach Vella! Fredrik Eklund’s number one developer on Million Dollar Listing New York. Where is Fredrik?? Why is he not with him in California? Ryan Serhant would be there if it were his client, right? Well, not so fast. This time it’s personal. Zach is searching for a place to put down roots with his fiancé, Michelle. Our poker faced developer is looking for a turnkey 4-5 bedroom home with lots of privacy and an ‘LA feel’ in Trousdale or west of Bel Air. ‘Find a steal’ he tells the boys. Easy peasy! James is concerned as there is a drought of inventory in the market for $10-15m homes in these areas.
Hey, anyone want to change Love & Hip Hop Hollywood to the Fizz and Omarion Hour? Who’s with me? Last night’s episode starts with Teairra Mari wanting to get back on stage. She’s planning a showcase with promoters Miss Diddy and Sincere. She gets a rude awakening from Sincere who informs her that she’s not famous enough to fill a big venue, and Sincere reminds her that she hasn’t had a hit in ages. He recommends a smaller, more private gathering. Sincere has a soft spot for Teairra’s boobs, but she can’t get over his massive ego. Despite all of their misgivings, Sincere agrees to help Teairra relaunch her career and she begrudgingly accepts because she needs it.
Yesi and Morgan are meeting for lunch to dish on Morgan’s recent conversation with Ray J regarding their working relationship. Yesi is still encouraging Morgan to branch out on her own, and she invites her friend to do red carpet interviews at an upcoming Powerhouse event. Morgan wants to run the idea past Ray as he’ll be working the event as well, but she’s quickly persuaded not to bother…and why should she? She’s convinced that Ray J will be happy for her new opportunity. Foreshadowing at its finest, Mona!
Last week on Manzo’d With Children, we left with Albie Manzo and Lauren Manzo fighting on the deck about her disapproval of Albie’s new girlfriend, Brittany. Albie stormed off and went crying to Caroline about how people need to just stay out of his business. Lauren (having no friends) calls her fiancé, Vito Scalia crying about how mean Ablie was to her. Caroline Manzo doesn’t want Albie and Lauren to fight and certainly doesn’t want either of them to not speak to each other ever again. So mama Manzo tells Albie to get over himself and tells Lauren she should have not called Albie a d%*k and a douche and to make peace otherwise they are all kicked out of the house (yeah right, Caroline).
This big blowout causes Albie to make a 911 call to Amber, his life coach, for a home visit STAT! Amber uses her jump to conclusion mat to discover that perhaps Caroline and Lauren are too involved in Albie’s life and their motivations are more about themselves than Albie’s well-being. Bingo. Well, hopefully Albie will be able to resolve this issue with Lauren in a civilized way.
I don’t mean to be negative but compared to previous seasons this one was kind of weak sauce, no? I mean, Fabellini has more sparkle than last night’s finale did. And dare I say it, it’s far less tacky!
Really – what could possibly be more tacky than having your boobs, butt, and midriff hangout at a charity fashion show for children with cancer?! Oh wait – trying to start a fight at one… while your boobs threaten to pop out of your Posche clearance special gown! When you get a reputation for running out of stores without paying for the clothes, I suppose you get stuck with the Posche end of the season leftover sale! Pass the Dunkin’ Donuts – the twins and their DDs are out to play.
Season Two of My Five Wives is upon us and in full disclosure, this is my first season of watching this show. The only reference point I have about polygamy is HBO’s fictional Big Love and of course, the national news. So, here we go! A quick recap of Season 1 shows us Brady Williams and his struggles with his five wives (in order from first wife to 5th): Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda.
It’s summer time at the compound (are we aloud to call their homestead that!?). Nonie wants another baby & is emotional over it “taking so long” to conceive. I guess 24 kids are just not cutting it. Brady claims he is fertile, so no worries in that department. Rosemary is glad to have more relaxed time with the kids, while Robyn has dreams of writing a book. Rhonda is nervous about the results of her next mammogram (she had a breast cancer scare last year). Paulie says things are great & is planning her 23rd wedding anniversary with Brady. As the first “empty nester” of the group, she reflects on how much time she has on her hands now. Don’t worry, Paulie! More kids are on the way via a uterus near you.