To say I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the Southern Charm reunion would be a gigantic understatement. I’m even more excited to be watching it in Charleston with my trusty college roommates, Kristen and Haze. They are just as die-hard fans as I am!
The Charmers are getting ready for what is sure to be a draining day. Austen Kroll and Shep Rose are having a sausage fest as Cameran Eubanks preps to watch the smackdown between Kathryn Dennis and the absent Thomas Ravenel’s money spender. As usual, the cast is more casual than other reunions, with the exception of Kathryn who is highlighting her new boobs in a bedazzled gown. Chelsea Meissner looks stunning. Andy Cohen welcomes the crew, hitting on Craig Conover and Shep while highlighting Naomie Olindo sitting on an opposite couch from her ex. He is excited that Austen has brought him beer and Craig may have a few pillows for the clubhouse. Andy reads a statement from T-Rav’s attorneys which asserts he is cooperating with authorities during his ongoing investigation. Thomas believes he will be vindicated, although I’m not sure he knows the meaning of the word.
Were you suffering from Southern Charm withdrawals last week? I know I was. While the last episode gave us friendship and butt crack, last night was all about drama and formality. It certainly delivered, although Bravo sure knows how to gloss over current events, doesn’t it?
Craig Conover is still living like a college student (and that statement is an insult to college students), and he welcomes Cameran Eubanks into his halfway house. She’s critical of the space, which is well-deserved, but she puts on airs when she sniffs the box wine he offers. She grills him about practicing law, but he counters that he’s yet to be sworn into the bar. He’s still working on the Character and Fitness portion of the application. As someone who went through this a while ago, the bar is basically making sure he doesn’t have an errant DUI (a regular one is fine…I don’t know that first hand, but I have some friends…) and isn’t an ax murderer. Clearly, Bravo reality whore ranks up there as a reason one wouldn’t be fit to practice law–in South Carolina. That’s a hard feat given the lawyers I know! Craig claims his pillow business is thriving, so attorney ethics benchmarks be damned! He presents Cameran with a bunch of pillowcases that he just needs to stuff before fulfilling his orders. She, like the rest of America, wonders what he’s waiting for with his sham empire. Was sham empire a pun? I didn’t think so until I typed it! She poo-poos his pillow situation as a distraction. Craig needs to focus on one thing. Isn’t he seeing a life coach? Craig admits that he stopped returning his life coach’s calls. Why can’t he take accountability? Craig reveals that Naomie Olindo may not have been wrong in labeling him a drifter.
Last night’s Southern Charm was like an SNL review from Stefon. It had EVERYTHING. Butt cracks and callousness, polo and pettiness, and after dark, this plantation rages with the owner of the Boar’s Nest, insecure Florence Nightengales, and one very promising comeback kid. There is so much to recap, I’ll just dive into the craziness. It’s why we’re all here, right?
Craig Conover is still suffering from the great butter knife incident of ’17, and it is making it very difficult for him to follow his dreams to master the Singer. He recruits his roommate for help while whining about Patricia Altschul not giving him one more day to produce the pillow that would knock her caftan right off–alas, Ms. Pat does things on principle…like not extended already greatly extended deadlines. She’s so rigid!
Last night’s episode of Southern Charm showed several of the cast members extremely worried about Kathryn Dennis and her safety as she went missing for a few days. Her building manager did a welfare check and declared she was physically okay. Kathryn later revealed that she was dealing with a bout of depression and needed to shut out the world for a while. Danni Baird, Naomie Olindo and Shep Rose weighed in on their thoughts during and after the incident.
On Southern Charm’s After Show, Danni Baird shared how unusual it is for Kathryn Dennis to ignore her calls. “Normally when she goes MIA or goes into hiding, she’ll respond to ME. this was a circumstance where she didn’t and it just kind of freaked me out a little bit. It was different than every other time.”
Disclaimer: I had a grand epiphany during last night’s Southern Charm, and it is shared throughout the recap. I knew the hyped disappearance of Kathryn Dennis had nothing to do with falling off the wagon, so I was hellbent on figuring out Bravo’s angle. I was horribly wrong in my assumption. What’s that saying about when you assume? I become an *asshat. I’ll own it. Regardless, this show keeps getting better and better! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
As the Charmers get ready for their day, Cameran Eubanks revels in her boobaliciousness to Chelsea Meissner, Thomas Ravenel tries to drown himself in his bathroom sink, and Danni Baird and Naomie Olindo are worried about Kathryn’s whereabouts. She skipped out on a boxing class with Naomie, and she isn’t answering any calls. Danni realizes it has been four days since her last communication with Kathryn. Concerned, Naomie dials Shep Rose, but he’s not worried. Have you seen Kathryn’s phone? It’s probably on the fritz.
The one good thing about Ashley Jacobs’ presence on Southern Charm is that it brought the cast members and fans together to support Kathryn Dennis. Ashley’s tantrums have given us all great content for tweets and memes. Other than that, no one wants her on this show.
With that said, it makes sense that Kathryn didn’t think it made sense to invite Ashley to her son’s birthday party. Yes, Ashley is dating Kathryn’s son’s father Thomas Ravenel, but they were only dating for a minute and a half when this party went down. Not only that, but Ashley has been extremely rude and downright hostile toward Kathryn. Why would she want that nonsense at her son’s birthday party?
Unfortunately, reality TV shows do not bless us viewers with new episodes every single week. Thank god for social media to fill in the gaps between seasons or just to give the fans a glimpse of what was happening behind the scenes to provide us with some additional content. This week’s Instagram Roundup of reality star photos does not disappoint.
If anyone is doing this reality TV thing right, it’s Danni Baird. She isn’t a full-time cast member on Southern Charm, but she gets to enjoy a lot of the perks and avoid a lot of the drawbacks. She has always been there, but the viewers don’t really know a ton about her.
Other than serving as a confidant to Kathryn Dennis, Danni wasn’t a major part of this season. Even so, she did faint in Key West from dehydration and she did reveal that she is now an engaged woman.