Above: Vanderpump Rules star Tom Schwartz shared, “He whispered friendship goals during this picture and made things very uncomfortable. Happy Valentine’s Day mannnnnn. Missing our bubs Katie and Ariana.”
Kim Zolciak deals with a lot of ‘haters’ on her social media pages. The mom of six usually just blocks them and moves on to more important things – like thigh gap selfies. But today as she headed off on another tropical vacation with husband Kroy Biermann, she had a few things to get off her chest.
Kim and Kroy and their kids are kicking off filming for the new season of Don’t Be Tardy with a family trip. And Kim wants to start that off by booting some people from her life – or her social media feed at least. She blasted on Instagram this afternoon, “Let me share something with you… You see who’s holding me, you see where I am, my kids are here… You know why I have the life I have… Because of how I lived it, how I treat people, what I give back, and how I think… I’m so f*****n over all you bullying trolls!”
So what’s a girl do when she’s got no job and her mama is vacationing in the Cayman Islands with her hubby? Crash, of course! Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann managed to extract themselves from their six kiddos for a romantic vacation when Brielle Biermann decided to surprise them!
As she got ready for a mini date with husband Kroy Biermann tonight, Kim Zolciak shared this photo above, claiming (joking?) that she doesn’t need to stick her butt out to have a thigh gap. So she says as she stands, sticking her butt out basically in a mid-air squat.
Kim captioned the Instagram snap: “Date night but only have an hour! Gotta make time even if it’s quick I don’t need to stick my butt out or point my feet in to have a thigh gap I have one even if I stand on my head #BornWithIt #ILoveYouJuicy #IDontPostForYourOpinion #ItsMYIGSoIPostPicsOfMe #ThatsNothingNew BOOTS ARE FREEPEOPLE.” (I’ll save you the search, they boots are $600 FYI)
Finally. Last night was the season finale of Don’t Be Tardy, so we had to bid farewell to chef Tracy. Don’t cry. It’s Bravo. She’ll be back. They’ll all be back. That said, if Brielle gets a job at E! News, I officially give up…on everything. Plus, I have a big birthday coming up, and every time I watch this show and remember that Kim Zolciak Biermannclaims to be is a few years younger than I am, I want drown my sorrows in some of her sparkling raspberry moscato. If you’ve had it, you know how badly this realization is for me.
The episode begins with KJ and Kroy building a kite. Kroy is heading off to camp with the Falcons which makes KJ the f$%#&* head of the household. KJ has it covered. He plans to chain Brielle in her room for at least a week. Smart kid. Meanwhile, Brielle and Slade are debating how much a ton weighs, and Kim and Kroy are taking the couple to Kim’s favorite psychic, Rose, so they can figure out the future of their relationship. Kim loves the psychic so much, Kaia’s middle name is Rose. Rose predicts that Brielle will have three kids, a wonderful husband and good fortune…and it’s starting next year. Rose reads Slade’s palm and also sees a marriage within a year. Slade jokes that it will be a really tiny ring then.
We are one episode away from the Don’t Be Tardy finale. Are y’all as stoked as I am? That said, after next week, I’ll spend months wondering if Brielle is really trying navigate Los Angeles all by her lonesome, as well as what curse words KJ has added to his vocabulary! Let’s get started with the recap, shall we?
On the eve of their trip to Los Angeles, Shun swings by the Zolciak-Biermann abode to help style Brielle for her big break. Kim reveals that not only will the mother-daughter duo be visiting E! News, they will also be apartment hunting. Kim divides her time between fawning over Brielle’s fashion and hounding Slade about he’ll survive if his lady love moves permanently to the West Coast. Gloria is taking some time off from being Kim’s bitch assistant so that she can get married. While it’s the most inopportune time for Kim, she’s happy for Gloria. Chef Tracy goad Gloria about how easy her job is, and she offers to do it ten times better in Gloria’s absence. Gloria wishes her luck with an eye roll. Who thinks this chick will make it another season? Wait, why do I expect there to be another season?
So, I’m going to go out on a limb here…Kim Zolciak Biermann wants oldest daughter Brielle to excel in Hollywood (attain her goals with no work, if you will), so she’s decided to make this season of Don’t Be Tardy Brielle’s swan song. Why else would the eighteen-year-old carrot expert and her beau Slade be featured so often? Three seasons from now, it’s going to be all about cursing KJ. The writing is already on the wall people!
Last night’s episode followed Kim and family as they spent the weekend at Slade’s folks’ lake house on Lake Keowee (my stomping ground when I’m home in the Upstate–and my friends with lake houses invite me for an always fun weekend on the water!). Before heading to South Carolina, Kim, who is clearly NOT sporting a new nose…not at all, Brielle and Slade meet with Kim and Kroy to discuss their plans for co-habitating in California. She can’t even make her point before Kroy is dying laughing and Kim saying she won’t fund Brielle giving away her milk for free. Maybe Slade can join her when he pops the question. Silly Kim, Brielle doesn’t drink milk! When she realizes her mother is making a sexual reference, Brielle is grossed out that Slade would want breast milk. Even worse than that statement? Kroy trying to figure out the “why buy the cow” analogy with the help of a producer.