Quick, what’s the next celebrity wedding on the calendar? Heck, what’s the next regular person wedding you can think of? Is it yours? Your best friend’s? Bottom line: Are you or is someone you know in need of a wedding officiant?
If so, may I suggest Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to guide you and your betrothed through your vows? You know you’d love it. Fist pumping down the aisle? Check. Cheetah print bridesmaids dresses? Check. And when you leave the reception? Cabs ahh heeya! It will be Jersey Shore nuptials of the finest caliber and you didn’t even have to humiliate yourself on the show to get to this wonderful place in life.
It’s no secret that I am a massive fan of the GTL. Sure, my gym is feeling inadequate when I only get 20% of my daily Fitbit steps while walking back and forth to the office copier with no other form of exercise. My tanning is of the spray variety, if at all…and that’s only for special occasions when orange is better than transparent. As for laundry, let’s not even go there. But I adore those kids of the Jersey Shore. I loved them when they were wasted fools making a mockery of everything Seaside Heights wanted to preserve, and I have enjoyed seeing them grow into actual normal(ish), successful adults.
That said, following Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’swalk down the aisle with Jionni LaValle (who recently lost his license thanks to a DUI) has been a lot of fun. Who doesn’t love to see a true friendship like Snooki and JWoww’s that was born of reality television. It’s a true rarity…like a unicorn, or a decent, handsome, rich guy who opens doors, pulls out chairs, and pays my student loans. That said, there were some guests missing from Snooki’s nuptials. I don’t really care about the whereabouts of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, but where, oh where was my precious Vinny Guadagnino? Sidebar: is it weird that I have to look up the spelling of “notoriety” (I just did again…always want to put an “a” in it) any time I want to use it, but “Guadagnino” is ingrained in my own personal spelling bee?
While it isn’t exactly what I thought Jionni LaValle would be doing two days after his wedding to Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, I’d say that a court appearance for a recent DUI puts him right up there with the behavior we’ve come to expect from reality stars. Sure, he married the fist-pumping, alligator loving, Britney-flashing, publicly intoxicated meatball from Jersey Shore, but Jionni always seemed to be the mature one…the voice of reason…the one who, you know, calmed the orange beast.
Obviously, there is nothing funny about drunk driving, but I have to say I am in shock that he was able to keep the arrest under wraps. That’s how we know he’s not a true reality star–his bad judgment wasn’t a catalyst for publicity! I doubt it’s even featured on the final season of Snooki & JWoww….
Snooki wore two dresses, a traditional gown for the ceremony and a Gatsby-inspired dress (seen above) for the reception. Snooki and Jionni’s wedding will be featured on Snooki & JWoww. See more photos from the wedding below.
About her upcoming wedding, she shared, “I always loved the ’20s era and the look of everything. Me and Jionni actually watched the movie together and it was actually Jionni’s idea to do a Great Gatsby theme wedding. We invited 300 people, but with everybody bringing a guest, it’s more like 400.” That’s a lot of people! And the wedding party includes 17 groomsmen, 15 bridesmaids, and 8 children, including Lorenzo and Giovanni.
Jionni LaValle and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi‘s time as basement dwellers has come to an end. Jionni, Snooki, and Lorenzo had been living in Jionni’s parents’ basement while waiting for their new house to be built. They bought land late 2012, construction began early 2013, and they moved in last month. Snooki‘s plan for her dream home included “a big playroom for the kids, a big backyard, a pool, and a big kitchen for Sunday dinners with the family.”
Unlike other reality TV stars who shall remain nameless, I believe Snooki has managed her money well and can legitimately afford her lovely new home. She’s come a long way since her days on Jersey Shore and built quite an impressive empire. Snooki’s products include clothing, sunglasses, slippers, fragrances, nail products, jewelry, tanning lotions, books, and more. Not to mention, Snooki and Jenni “JWoww” Farley are still on MTV on Snooki & JWoww.
Check out pictures of Jionni, Snooki, Lorenzo, and Giovanna‘s beautiful new home below. Now all we need are pictures of that new baby!
Seriously!! That cannot be the body of a woman who just gave birth to her second baby just 13 days ago!! Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi posted the new photo to Instagram yesterday debuting her post-baby body and bragging that she can fit into her pre-baby jeans already!
When we first met Snooki during her drunken days partying on Jersey Shore, who would have thought that a few years later she would be the epitome of pregnancy health and a master at losing the baby weight?
In the selfie, Snooki wears leopard-print jeans, heels, a black top and a sweater with her long red hair pulled to one side. The mother of two’s legs look very fit and her tummy looks incredibly flat for a girl who has just given birth less than two weeks ago. New mother’s take note — this is how you debut your post-baby bod!
Speaking of debuts — MTV just released the trailer for the final season of Snooki & Jwoww, and the girls are ready to take us on a wild pregnancy ride.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE DETAILS!
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is a mom again! Our favorite pint-size Jersey Shore girl gave birth to her second child, a daughter, earlier today. Already mom to soon-to-be two-year-old son Lorenzo, with fiancé Jionni LaValle, Snooki took to twitter to announce the arrival of her brand new bundle of joy.
“So happy to let you know we had our beautiful daughter this morning Giovanna Marie LaValle. 6.7 lbs, full head of black hair & perfect,” she tweeted earlier this morning.
And we can only assume that Snooki is super happy that the new baby has finally arrived, because last we heard, she was over being pregnant.