There are few things that I love more than a Real Housewife attempting a music career. If the song is great, then that gives me another bop to listen to. If the song is terrible, it’s entertaining for a totally different reason. I will listen to it just as much (if not more). It’s really a win-win for the super fans like myself.
That’s why I miss Melissa Gorga’s early days on Real Housewives of New Jersey when she wanted to be a pop star and her husband built a recording studio in their basement. These days she is caught up with her clothing story Envy and all of that restaurant drama, but if she ever wanted to record another song, I would be all for it.
First things first, the attire. Melissa Gorga, in my opinion, wins best in show for this reunion because she went for cocktail chic instead of junior prom night circa 1995. Controversial opinion: Margaret Josephs comes in second, if only because that shade of green is perfection on her, and I’m loving the noticeable absence of pigtails. Teresa Giudice is looking very…Teresa, which is pretty damn good for someone who struggles valiantly against the gravity of her hairline. Meanwhile, Danielle Staub, Siggy Flicker, and Dolores Catania bring up the caboose of this fashion(ish) show with fullly engorged bubbies On Display! On Display! On Display! in more bronzer than the smush-room of the Jersey Shore house ever saw. Let’s hope these couches get a good dry cleaning after this sh*t goes down.
What do they think about Siggy Flicker leaving the show? Did Teresa actually get an apologize from Joe Giudice when she visited him in prison? Why did it take so long for Teresa to visit him? What is going on with their restaurant closing less than a year after it opened.
Margaret and Marge Sr. are checking out the custom made dress commissioned for Margaret’s 50th birthday party. She’s forever 21 in her head, but in the dress, her boobage is still 49. As she yanks and tugs at her cleavage, Danielle saunters in to join the party. They all discuss Siggy’s rude behavior at the Gorga’s restaurant opening. Marge isn’t going to uninvite Siggy to her disco bash just because she acted crazy – I mean, everyone’s used to that sh*t by now, right?!
As we count down to the season finale, Siggy is OK with her decision to leave and has no regrets. “I’ve never been so happy with my decision,” she says. “I made the right decision and I would do it all over again. I love Bravo and I love Andy Cohen but at the end of the day all the odds were stacked up against me and I chose my family.”
Margaret Josephs and Siggy are now in open war after Siggy’s accusation that Marge was anti-Semitic. Siggy’s half-hearted (and delayed) response to Marge’s apology did nothing to cool the flames. Melissa Gorga is back in the strip mall trying to make Envy happen, despite the wishes of Joe Gorga. He apparently needs a waitress at the new pizza joint, and his only remaining name tag says “Melissa.” Teresa Giudice is living like it’s 2009 all over again as she turns up at Danielle Staub’s home to offer a contractually obligatory apology to her dorters. Except one of the dorters doesn’t even want to see her! She’s like, Namaste away, crazy lady! Tre has trouble counting to two anyway, so she likely thinks all Staub offspring are present for the blessed event.