Well, we have made it to the season finale of Famously Single and this might have been the longest/shortest season of a reality show in recent memory. What I mean is that we have only sat through eight episodes, but this seems like more than enough. I guess these “celebrities” can’t stay in a loft banging each other forever though; they all have to get back to errr… uhhhh… what do they all do again?
One person that I do know is gainfully employed again (at least for an episode or two) is resident snooze-fest Josh Murray, who appeared in a promo for an upcoming episode of Bachelor in Paradise. Will Josh bring anything to the table there? Doubtful but hey, a guy’s gotta get paid, right? As for the rest of the cast, I guess they will just fade back into the complete obscurity from which they came. Oh, and Dr. Darcy Sterling has to go back to Vanderpump Rules to fulfill her obligations asKatie Maloney’s stunt double.
Famously Singleis chugging right along, like the crazy mess of garbage on fire that it is. Speaking of crazy messes, Aubrey O’Dayis dragging her trapped love interest, Pauly D, to get his tarot cards read by resident bohemian priestess/supermodel, Jessica White. Just in case Pauly thought this might be fun, Aubrey makes sure to let him know if the cards don’t turn up favorable, he’s a dead man. Jessica starts displaying the cards and it turns up that they should have sex. Aubrey gloats but that’s short lived – a queen turns up in the cards and apparently, that means there is another woman in the picture. Pauly is saying he can’t date another jealous woman but sorry, Pauly, you’re already in too deep. Good luck with that.
This week’s Famously Single is all about that low-hanging fruit. This group of Singletons isn’t just dysfunctional, but super lazy when it comes to dating. Instead of learning any useful tools on this mess of a reality show, the cast members would rather just try and hook up with whoever is still ripe for the pickin’ in the house. I don’t know how many days they have actually all been stuck together, but I suppose finding someone in the house left to hook up with is like shooting fish in a barrel. Ready, aim, fire!
Brandi Glanville and Calum Best are still dramatically working through another pointless argument about jealousies over their pseudo-relationship. In case you missed it (or in case your brain exploded from all the nonsense) last week, Brandi is upset that Calum said he would go out on a date with someone from the blind mixer, then backtracked and said he would go out with Brandi instead. She doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice, especially not someone as lame as Calum. OK, I added that last part but you get the idea.
New photo roundup time! Melissa Gorga threw a “Real Housewives Of New Jersey” Season 7 Premiere Shopping Event at the “envy by Melissa Gorga” boutique in Montclair and was joined by her daughter Antonia.
Coco Austin, La La Anthony, Somaya Reece and more turned out for the VH1 Hip Hop Honors.
The broken record of broken daters continues on Famously Single and as we start another episode, no one fits into that category better than resident Shallow Hal, Josh Murray (yeah, the guy from The Bachelorette who isn’t even famous enough to have a Wikipedia page).
Josh is flipping through Instagram and complaining to Aubrey O’Day about how women need to measure up to his standards. Aubrey makes a valiant effort to explain to him that what he sees on Instagram is not exactly real, but you can see his beady little fame-seeking eyes glossing over as visions of fake boobies dance in his head.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.
ABOVE: Yolanda Hadid shared, “Silence is loaded with answers. #Morning #Meditation #Seattle”
The next morning, Calum tries to redeem himself from being a complete prick by getting Brandi flowers for her birthday. Jessica White tells Brandi that if she likes him, she will just have to put up with him acting jealous. Brilliant advice from another single who has racked up the frequent failure miles when it comes to relationships.
In case you haven’t heard, not only is it hard to be famous, but it’s hard to be single. Remember guys, I’m using the term “famous” loosely. Either way, this is basically the long and the short of E!’s Famously Single and the show tries really hard to draw the correlation between being a D list celeb and that standing in the way of finding a healthy relationship.
In group therapy, Dr. Darcy Sterling thinks it’s time to talk about sex. Calum Best doesn’t seem to understand the difference between sex and a relationship and Willis McGahee says he doesn’t go into his relationships thinking he’s going to cheat, it just kind of happens. Aubrey O’Day, the enlightened being that she is, says she doesn’t have casual sex because it doesn’t do anything for her spirit. Brandi Glanville admits that she has a recycling bin of men that she can have sex with but it’s not casual, because she knows them. The group is shocked to learn that Pauly D has never made love, but really wants to and would like some tips. I have lots of tips when it comes to this dysfunctional bunch but I suppose that’s not the point of the recap.