I mean, I don’t know if it’s healthy to have back-to-back nights of any VH1 reunion, but last night’s conclusion to Love & Hip Hop Hollywood left me feeling especially brain dead. Nana seems a bit spent after her twerking shenanigans. Mally Mal is on the stage, and he thinks Masika is a cool chick, but Berg is going to learn soon enough that she’s always after the next best thing. When I close my eyes, Mal’s voice belongs to someone who looks like he could be a character on The Big Bang Theory, not this big guy with the girlishly tweezed eyebrows. Berg warns Uncle Fester to stop talking about him, and Mally puts on his shades and takes off his jacket. It’s the equivalent of a Basketball Wife taking off her heels before going bat shiz cray. Mal and Masika argue over who was using who (whom?) to get on the show. Berg reminds Nikki that he’s the one who got her on the franchise. Masika then reveals that Mally Mal is still in contact with her.
Thankfully we move onto a more sane story line…and that says a lot given it revolves around Fizz, Moniece and Amanda. Moniece, as calm and composed as she is, is clearly certifiable…and stunningly gorgeous. I love that she’s the most well-spoken person on the show, as well as the craziest. As annoying Amanda tries to explain her behavior, Moniece spouts off a list of her amazing qualities and receives a round of applause from her co-stars. Game, set, match…Moniece. Mona revisits Amanda’s infidelities, and Amanda admits that she fell in love with someone else (the other man) after she broke up with Fizz. Fizz reminds her that they didn’t “break up,” he left her sarong-wearing azz. Dear VH1, please don’t make me watch Nikki trying to eat Fizz’ face again. They’re just friends, y’all. #fakerelationshipbymona
Nikki Mudarris shared the picture above on Instagram, adding, “Hazel & Nikki baby #dontpanichoe” and ” #bitchiwillbuyyourlife #coldbitch #lovemyfans.” Following the reunion, Hazel E shared, “I am a good person, but not an angel. I do make mistakes, but I am not evil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to love purely and stay focused on my music.”
Lord help us all, last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Reunion was absolutely ridiculous. Let’s face it, thanks to the Atlanta franchise, these fools (not you, Omarion!) are going to try to amp up the drama just for insanity’s sake. Way to go, Mona! Speaking of, Mona is channeling Madonna circa the mid-90’s with her wardrobe, and everyone giggles when the host jokes about all the partner swapping that goes on in this group. Of course, laughing and getting along doesn’t make for good television as far as VH1 is concerned, and Ray-J somberly reminds everyone that friends sleeping with friends’ exes isn’t cool. Berg quickly reminds his pal that Ray slept with Hazel-E. Wait, does this mean Berg is claiming her as an ex? Surely not! Ray stays mum, and Hazel proudly announces that Ray was her first Hollywood conquest when she was in college.
Teairra Mari and Ray’s relationship is highlighted, from RayJ.com (is that really a thing?) to the Monistat box of clothing to the luggage gifting. Those crazy kids…I hope they make it! Ray seems to be taking anger management seriously, and he apologizes (dare I say, sincerely?) for humiliating his former girlfriend. He seems to genuinely feel badly for his actions. However, he and Teairra are no longer working on their relationship, which is Mona’s cue to bring Princess on stage. She’s looking a lot drier than the last time we saw her, isn’t she? She shares that she and Ray are working things out, and we are reminded of the Ray-Princess-Teairra love triangle. Keeping it classing, Teairra calls Princess a prostitute and requests that she “go choke on a d!@k,” to which Princess sweetly replies, “You were the one choking on a d!@k in a back alley last week.” Whose d!@k, you ask? Why, Yung Berg’s of course! Teairra warns Princess that she is one violent lady, and security starts flanking the stage as Ray tries to calm both “ladies.”
Y’all remember last week on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood where Ray-J side stepped Princess’ drink throwing and she landed in the pool? That was hilarious. Last night’s episode begins with Ray utilizing what he’s learned in anger management by just walking away. Princess chases after him, flashing the production crew that tries to restrain her. Ray is so over this relationship. They are finished! Plus, it makes for a good story line with Teairra Mari, right?
Soulja Boy is reevaluating his relationship with Nia after her miscarriage and a bad car accident. Nia and Cameron were involved in an accident where Nia’s car flipped twice. The two are very fortunate that they escaped with minor cuts and bruises! Soulja wants to focus on rebuilding their love and being attentive to Nia and Cameron. I’m so glad they are alright–it’s crazy the real drama that coincides with this heavily scripted mess! Speaking of messes, Teairra is hoping that another showcase will make people forget about her horrendous debut (re-but?) back into the music scene. This time around, Yung Berg is cosigning this debacle, and he’s hoping that Teairra will prove to Sincere that she is worth the trouble after their spat. Berg and Teairra gossip like middle school girls about how he now considers Masika to be his girl, and the fact that Teairra is feeling nostalgic about Ray. They should be passing notes out of a Lisa Frank notebook, don’t you think?
Oooh! Is it so sad that I waited all week for last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood just to see Ray J’s lady fall in the pool? Geez Louise! I heard on the radio that this fool gets upwards of $30,000 A MONTH for sales of his sex tape with Kim Kardashian, and he made $50,000 last week alone when sales spiked thanks to Kim’s Paper magazine cover. My internet is still working though, so I’m going to say that was a fail.
The episode begins with Nia going to Morgan’s to talk about the upheaval in her life. She wasn’t able to tell Soulja Boy until after she suffered a miscarriage. Nia informed him via text, telling him that she didn’t think he even cared. He ended up doing the mature thing and blocking her on Instagram and Twitter. Morgan wishes that men in general would learn to be more understanding, and Nia breaks down in tears. She feels that she may need a break from the relationship.
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood didn’t really bring the drama full force. Everything just kind of happened. People yelled, but they stopped yelling before the hair pulling could ensue. The cast, for the most part, was calm and kind–by their standards at least! And, I didn’t have to have my eyes assaulted with any of Nikki’s mesh ensembles! That’s a win.
Apryl, Omarion and Leslie are in so much love with baby Mega. Not only is Omarion amazed at how well his girlfriend and his mother getting along, the women are bonding over motherhood. Apryl is waiting for her mom to come visit, but she has a totally different relationship with her than Omarion has with Leslie. She tears up discussing the distance between she and her mother, and she vows not to be that kind of mother to her son. Apryl wants a second grandmother for Mega, and Leslie now seems to better understand her son’s girlfriend. Enough about this craziness…show us the precious baby!