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Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion Recap:

I cannot believe we’re already to the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion! Last night’s first installment of the ladies’ sit down with Andy Cohen was reality gold…and pewter and bronze and silver. Their gowns were like a medal ceremony in the Envy by Melissa Gorga Olympics. Also, whoever told Jackie Goldscheider that the attire was cleavage optional is clearly getting the last laugh. But at least Jackie’s least likely to have a wardrobe malfunction when being screamed at by the first eight seasons’ Teresa Giudice who throws tables punches instead of rolling with them. Shockingly, Jennifer Aydin has her girls under wraps as well, although she does arrive in a Rocky-style blinged-out boxing robe. Of course, she does.

 

Andy welcomes the newbies before questioning Teresa about Joe Giudice’s impending deportation. Teresa is clearly upset, but they table the discussion for later in the reunion. He continues schmoozing the RHONJ cast before complimenting Margaret Josephs’ facelift. He even gets Dolores Catania to admit to butt implants with her own fat. Jackie shares she had a tummy tuck after giving birth to two sets of twins. Margaret also reveals that she and husband Joe Beningo shower together every morning.

He polls the women on how frequently they have sex.  Jennifer admits that she and her husband have extra bed mates (their kids) which make intimacy more difficult. Andy (and the rest of the world) is obsessed with Margaret’s housekeeper. Jennifer tells Andy she had preconceived notions about her counterparts before joining the show. She thought she’d clash with Teresa instead of becoming her puppet friend. She is thankful to the show for gifting her with girls’ trips even if one of them was to Oklahoma. Trust me, Oklahoma feels the same about you, Jennifer. Margaret chastises Jennifer for being a spoiled snob.

We’re treated to a highlight reel of the RHONJ children from Jennifer’s children sassing it up on the tennis courts to Dolores‘ son’s spray tan to Milania’s rap star dreams. Teresa loves that her tween is into big hair and fake nails–she’s just like her mother! Jennifer doesn’t have on any blinders when it comes to being self-aware about spoiling her kids. Her youngest knows that whining and crying will push her buttons and garner more gifts. Both Jackie and Jennifer’s kids loved filming, but Melissa and Tre’s kids despise the cameras.

A forty-year-old viewer asks for permission to date Frankie, but Dolores isn’t keen on that age difference. However, it’s a great segue into her season’s storylines. Guess what? Dolores is still in the house with ex-husband Frank but she’s spending a lot more time with her boyfriend David. Frank is building a new house for her beau, but she’s not planning on moving in with him without a ring. Andy also commends Dolores on her work with the women’s shelter. She touches on her past as a corrections officer.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion Recap:

The women gripe about Margaret accusing Jennifer’s husband of sleeping in the pool house. Margaret maintains that she was just trying to hurt her. They quickly spiral into necklace-gate as Margaret gives us a National Geographic lesson on baboons. Both Margaret and Dolores are upset that Teresa sympathized with Jennifer when she was insulting the group’s gift to Teresa. Jennifer defends herself for being a “one-upper” and asserts that she was purposefully feeding into the jokes about her sixteen bathrooms. She somewhat regrets her behavior in Oklahoma, but not enough to apologize without a thousand justifications.

Andy states that a viewer likens Jackie to Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. She believes she is more a Miranda, giving Melissa the Carrie title and comparing Margaret to Samantha (which Margaret loves). Teresa rolls her eyes at the thought of Jackie being anything like Carrie Bradshaw. She chastises the newbie for siding with Margaret throughout the season. Teresa has a lot of misplaced rage, and I think we’re going to see it in 5..4…3…2…(after recap footage of Jackie)…

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion Recap:

Jackie addresses her eating disorder and the fact that being on television could cause her to revisit her illness. She sees a nutritionist and discusses her law practice and her newspaper column. She briefly chats about her reconciliation with her sister while Tre and Jennifer mutter under their breath about Jackie’s column. Jackie’s sister didn’t want to be featured on the show.

Teresa then announces that someone who beefed with her sister is not someone with whom she’d associate. That’s rich. This escalates into Teresa calling Jackie a stalker because she came to a few of her book signings back in the day. She even has a picture of them at a signing! GASP!! CLUTCHING PEARLS!! So, she’s saying Jackie was once a fan? Teresa should be thanking her for putting money in Tre’s bank account. Jackie counters that she is the one who first showed Teresa the picture. If that isn’t a stalker, Teresa doesn’t know what is!

Teresa defines stalker as someone who was a fan of the show who has followed her social media for years. Um, I guess that makes me a stalker too! Teresa then calls Jackie “Honey Boo Boo” which is not an insult. Teresa goes off the rails about how Jackie wanted to be on HER show from day one, hence the stalking, and Jackie inquires as to whether Teresa feels this way about all of her fans. Does Teresa have any appreciation for who made her famous? Dolores isn’t keen on Jackie’s word twisting, and Teresa hits below the belt, questioning if Jackie’s mood is due to hunger.

Did Jackie eat before coming to the reunion? Seriously? Is Teresa defending herself against claims of bullying by mocking someone who admits to suffering from anorexia? Maybe I’m glad the season is over! Melissa scolds Teresa for the low blow, and Jennifer inserts that Jackie is actually thirsty…for attention. I’ll give Jackie points for a quick and clever return!

Real Housewives of New Jersey

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FIRST PART OF THE REUNION? IS TERESA GOOD TELEVISION OR IS SHE REALLY JUST COMPLETELY LACKING SELF-AWARENESS? 

[Photo Credit: Greg Endries/Bravo]

 

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