I may not know much about the Bible but I do know about the rules and regulations of being a Real Housewife. So I know that Housewivesomy, Bravobial Truths states Thou Shall Honor Girl Code Above All Else. For some reason, for all Vicki Gunvason‘s learning about how the botoxed and manicured hearts and half-witted minds of her species works, she cannot take this to heart. So that is how it goes on The Real Housewives Of Orange County – the same tide that washes in good intentions taketh them away.
However, even in the real world, many cameras and storylines removed from anything touched by Andy Cohen or the dark waters climbing up the spiral staircase leading to Kelly Dodd‘s mid-century un-modern denial, it is bad form – very very bad form – to start double-dating with your friend’s ex-husband WITHOUT TELLING HER. How are we expected to believe that even Vicki is this stupid? Hasn’t she learned from Shannon Beador and Tamra Judge that involving herself in anyone’s marriage, or the disintegrating lack thereof, only leads down the path to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks!
Annabelle’s passing came as a surprise to all as just the weekend before the former model and children’s book author was partying with friends like Kate Moss at her ex-boyfriend’s wedding! After a tragic horseback riding accident in season 2 left her with a broken back and pelvis, Annabelle left the show but continued to keep in touch with some cast members.
The fateful event happened at Hannah’s own birthday party – which is supposed to be all about revering Hannah for the greatness that she is by pushing her up the dock in a shopping cart, legs splayed, waving a cigarette, and that DE-SIGN-NER Yves Saint Laurent top covered in cake and ash. Conrad Empson this is a glimpse at your future!
Poor Kasey Cohen, who was just imagining her own future as Joao’s girlfriend, looks on in horror as he and BrookeLaughton start making out at the beer bottle covered table. Hilariously Kasey and Jamie Jason troll Joao by cleaning up right in front of him and glaring him down as he’s trying to have his ‘moment’ with Brooke.
Last night brought lots of changes for the Real Housewives Of Orange County. Most importantly they’re all getting along! In a scary, even realistic kind of way. Which means something horrible is probably going to happen that sucks the whole of the Pacific Ocean into Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador‘s bodies so they can turn them into an epic tidal wave of hysterical tears. Am I excited about this prospect… I mean, yes and no.
Speaking of Shannon she has downsized in the divorce. Dreaded words there kids! So if you see a woman living under the freeway in a cardboard box featuring rococo mahogany legs, you will know it is Shannon! Terribly tragic.
Lydia McLaughlin returned to use free advertising for the launch of her new magazine after a long hiatus to contemplating what Alexis Jesus would do as a Real Housewife, and Vicki remained – and remained on the outs with everyone. Heather Dubrow decided she didn’t want to expose her marriage to anymore speculative gossip and quit, so instead enter: Peggy Sulahian. Someone in casting was on Vicki’s Vodka that day!
**See update below!** Is there another Real Housewives bankruptcy in the cards, or is Gretchen Rossi just not paying her bills? The former Real Housewives Of Orange County star has been sued by Citibank for an unpaid balance of $9,433.56.
Does Gretchen really not have $9k? Well, I guess she is supporting Slave Smiley – allegedly – so maybe not?! Apparently, Gretchen has defaulted on credit card payments going back to 2017, which is the last time she cut a check to Citibank and they’re tired of waiting for their money.
It’s not often I can say “shocking news” when it comes to a reality star, but this year Luann de Lesseps is definitely making the best headlines. In the most interesting way. The latest is that Luann is being sued by her ex husband and her children for allegedly violating divorce agreement over the kids’ trust funds.