It took a week for us to recover from Ashley Jacobs’ appearance on Southern Charm, and this week’s episode gave us more Craig Conover tantrums. He needs a new shtick. At least we were treated to a change of scenery as the group jetted off to Colorado.
The show begins with Cameran Eubanks joining Shep Rose at the site of his new lot on James Island. It’s 3.5 acres for a mere $900K, and Cameran is is convinced it’s a money pit. He doesn’t have any site plans, and he’s unsure about the flood zone designation which is a very key item in Charleston. The pair discusses their upcoming trip to Colorado, and Shep is peeved to hear that Cam has included Austen Kroll’s ex Madison LeCroy in the group.
After last week’s
snoozefest episode, it was about time Southern Charm offered up some serious drama that didn’t involve Craig Conover getting his feelings hurt. Last night was the highly anticipated return of Ashley Jacobs, who proved, yet again, that she can’t take responsibility for any of her actions. It is exhausting to watch her battle over semantics, but it’s torturously entertaining. Let’s dig right in to last night’s show, shall we?
While the OG Charmers are bonding with their pooches, Recent College Grad is complaining about how hard it is to be overshadowed by the Limehouse name. With three hotels and a $50 million inheritance in her future, Eliza works hard to learn the family business booking reservations and covering shifts at hotels. She is not just a spoiled polo brat like most people assume. Eliza discusses the skeet shoot brunch she and her boyfriend Don will be hosting at her family’s plantation. Her mother nags her about emo manicure and sleep habits…and the fact that Eliza is dating someone fourteen years her senior. She wonders if her daughter is seeking a father-figure in her older beaus. Her mother would rather Eliza marry into another well-bred Southern family instead of traipsing around with some thirty-something from (gasp!) New Jersey.
And now for something completely different! We’re seeing some new faces on Southern Charm this season. Viewers were officially introduced to recent college graduate, Eliza Limehouse on the premier episode. Her degree wasn’t very helpful, as she received some fan backlash after her appearance. We have also met Naomie Olindo’s new boyfriend, Metul Shah. He is a physician and has been known to give Cameran Eubanks a case of the vapors. Another new face is
unemployable Austen Kroll’s current woman, Madison LeCroy. Austen might be more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel, but Madison is adding spice to his story line.
Perhaps the best new addition to the cast is newcomer, Lil Craig. His human, Shep Rose decided a companion would be fun. After consulting with his mother, who said ABSOLUTELY NOT, Shep bought himself a doggie. Lil Craig pounced on the scene of Cameron’s birthday bash wearing a chic banana collar and accessorized with a taco leash. As celebrities know, fame comes at the expense of personal privacy. Lil Craig is finding that out for himself now, as he embarks (emBARKS, see what I did there?) on his social media journey.
Last night’s Southern Charm was mega-Craig. It had all the drama, but the subjects shifted a bit. Boys will be boys! We begin as Shep Rose is preparing for the arrival of his new puppy, and Cameran Eubanks arrives at his house to accompany him to pick up his latest distraction…not to be confused with his most recent distraction–the girl who left thigh-high boots sprawled on his den floor. Cameran is concerned about how long Little Craig will last in his new home…probably as long as thigh-high boots girl did.
In Mount Pleasant, Chelsea Meissner and Austen Kroll are attempting to catch some fish while dishing on Shep calling Madison LeCroy white trash. Austen’s ex wishes that he had clocked Shep for the statement, and Chelsea agrees. Women like for guys to defend their honor. On their way to get Little Craig, Cameran details her recent conversation with Madison to Shep. He admits to saying it, but at least he didn’t say it to her face. Sometimes he’s snobby, okay? Shep doesn’t hate Madison, but he doesn’t like hanging out with rednecks. Cameran thinks his words were too strong, but she wouldn’t be friends with him if he didn’t have a good heart.
On tonight’s episode of Southern Charm, Chelsea Meissner gives Austen Kroll some sound advice. She tells him, “I do think you should surround yourself with people who aren’t dragging you out to the bars.” True, but that wouldn’t make for a great reality TV show. Austen is turning up for the fans, right? He’s a noble guy like that.
Usually, it’s Cameran Eubanks giving these pep talks about becoming more responsible. However, she has a thirty-fifth birthday to celebrate. This means that the normally reserved Cameran is going to turn all the way up. And get completely wasted. Yes. Finally. Something interesting. Hopefully, her drunk chatter doesn’t mention the plight of real estate in Charleston. No one wants to hear about that, especially not in every single episode.
Can Shep Rose deny hitting on any female? Not according to his great friends! The Southern Charm lothario is certainly known for his way with the ladies. Shep has been through his fair share of flings with his co-stars. Danni Baird went out with Shep for a few minutes. Until she discovered his lack of commitmentshep. Kathryn Dennis has also fallen under the influence of Shep’s
alcohol animal magnetism. He even tried it with Chel(t)sea Meissner, but she managed to dodge his allure in favor of… Austen Kroll.
Speaking of Austen, his new relationship is providing quite a bit of drama for viewers this season. Hairstylist extraordinaire, Madison LeCroy, has shown up and she is no punk. She owns a business, styles Patricia Altschul’s wig, and isn’t afraid of confrontation. Shep is not a fan of Madison’s. He seems to have an unreasonable dislike towards Austen’s main squeeze. So what happened to create such tension between Madison and Shep? Did she refuse his slurred words of poetry? Was she resistant to his beer-soaked t-shirt collection? Maybe she was just smart.
Do you think Craig Conover is still recovering from the hot dog assault on last week’s episode of Southern Charm? You would think he’d have learned by now how thick his skin needs to be if he’s going to be friends with Shep Rose and Whitney Sudler-Smith! While the boys continue their ill-fated road trip to get Austen Kroll’s mind off of Madison LeCroy, the ladies have their own agenda. Chelsea Meissner joins Danni Baird at the doctor for some egg freezing fun, and Patricia Altschul hosts the gals for a dinner party where the forgiveness is served with a side of Kathryn Dennis eye rolls. And those are just the highlights…what a time to be a Charmer!
The show begins with the boys readying for the drive to Nashville, but the awkwardness between Shep, Whitney, and Craig is palpable. Austen is silently peeved at Shep’s attempt to sweep the previous night’s nastiness under the rug. He believes it’s a pattern with Shep. Later that evening, the guys arrive at their Nashville hotel, and Shep is already planning the evening’s after party. As Craig preens, Whitney sanitizes the room in a way that would make Lisa Rinna proud. Shep has shaved his beard to a goatee. It’s not a good look. Austen receives a hot pic from Madison, and his friends are quick to remind him that this is the exact reason they aren’t together. She’s manipulating him.
Is it just me, or is Southern Charm not as charming as it once was? The premise was great when these folks were in their twenties, but mid-thirties frat boys just aren’t as entertaining. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore the show, but I’m nostalgic for the good old days of bar hopping and bed-hopping when it was funny…not semi-pathetic. Maybe I’m just in a mood…
The drama of last week’s episode seems all but forgotten (if only that were true!) as the Charmers prepare for their day. Craig Conover’s ADD interferes with cleaning up after his party, and Kathryn Dennis is getting a spray tan that will no doubt look completely natural. Speaking of natural, nothing looks more normal than Patricia Altschul’s butler Michael pulling her Bentley through the Mac Donald’s drive-thru. She’s craving a cheeseburger with no
ketchup tomato. She reveals that her guiltiest pleasures are Mickey D’s, Costco hot dogs, and Taco Bell tacos. In fact, Patricia prefers her fast food to the finest French cuisine. She nibbles on her number one in the backseat with a cloth napkin (not paper!) and glass of Cabernet while Michael toodles her around Charleston. What a life!