Real Housewives Of Atlanta Reunion Part 1 Recap: FRIEND?

Real Housewives Of Atlanta is really milking the everyone vs. NeNe Leakes scenario for all it’s worth – and I am so glad! NeNe has been prancing around like Marie Antoinette with her wigs piled high on her fake haughty head and it’s time for a new queen [hair flip!]. Or no queen, and just a equal well-connected cast of women who have fun, light drama, and interesting lives.

Seriously, though, I’m excited by the insurgency of the rest of the cast with their unwillingness to uphold the narrative that NeNe has immunity. She doesn’t nor should she. It’s more than about time that NeNe’s wig glue melted! NeNe is essentially mad for the sake of being mad  (or maybe, benefit of the doubt: there’s some stuff we, the viewers, didn’t see).

After a [low-rated, boring ass] season of making everything about how NeNe is feeling and not upsetting the NeNe cart, NeNe’s now accusing everyone of turning on her. She expects Andy Cohen to support her to get the other women in line. But it’s not going to go that way. Not this time! 

We start at 5am, backstage, with Housewives arriving, then getting into style by having their hair laid and the shade well-rehearsed. The call time to be on stage is 10 am, so NeNe arrives at the ripe old hour of 9:45. Obviously, everyone had to wait for her, so Andy took that time to give Cynthia Bailey a little pep talk about yanking her spine out of her Cargo by Cynthia Bailey luggage and following the instructions for application. Cynthia cries over all the issues with NeNe. She doesn’t understand why their friendship is over when she’s been nothing but supportive. One word: Kenya. And I don’t mean a country in Africa!

Kandi Burruss tells Andy that Cynthia didn’t know Kenya was coming to the wine cooler party, and that NeNe is overreacting. Ya’think!

Now I think it was a bit shady for Cynthia not to tell NeNe that Kenya was invited to the party, but we all know Cynthia didn’t tell NeNe because she knew she’d come prepared to make a ruckus, and would throw a huge fit. FOR ONCE I don’t think Kenya was there to cause problems. She was happy, 9 months pregnant, and wanted to show off that happiness. And THAT is what’s irritating NeNe! NeNe is also probably annoyed that Kenya didn’t come at her,because then NeNe would have more ammunition for her phony narrative that everyone ganged up on her. Even though most of the women were just as shocked to see Kenya there!

NeNe spends her time in the makeup chair on the phone with Marlo Hampton complaining about how Cynthia and Kandi conspired to take her down, and CREATED issues between she and Kenya to make NeNe look bad. Um, what?

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Reunion

None of the other women know if NeNe will even show up until they’re actually sitting on stage, freaking out about the KOI POND that was erected in the middle of the reunion set (that cannot be healthy for the fish?), when NeNe strolls out and plops down. She looks at no one!

We already know this reunion is going to come down to The Porsha Show and The NeNe Show. Aka, future vs. past. NeNe is all stank face, pursed puss, and as Eva Marcille says, “rawr” – meaning aggressive, negative energy. Porsha is all love, and light, and look at my 13 carat engagement ring so keep eating all them hot dogs, Hotlanta!

After a recap of Porsha finding happiness with Dennis McKinley, and her ready to pop bump (Porsha filmed the reunion 2 weeks away from her due date!), Porsha and NeNe erupt into the first fight of the day about whether or not Porsha was there for NeNe. She was. End of story.

Porsha Williams

Then Porsha tricks NeNe into admitting she intentionally didn’t send a baby gift be bitchy. LOL! NeNe was actually the only Housewife not to attend Porsha’s baby shower or send a gift. Kandi was in the Celebrity Big Brother house, but sent a lavish present. However, NeNe completely ignored the invitation because she was either ‘working’ in Canada or being a devoted caretaker to Gregg partying with Floyd Mayweather in LA. Maybe NeNe was training for the reunion?

NeNe Shares Video Montage Of Porsha’s Worst Real Housewives Of Atlanta Moments; Accuses Porsha Of Recording Audio To Dub Into Closet Footage

According to NeNe it does not matter what she does, because the only thing that matters is NeNe and how NeNe was UNSUPPORTED BY ALL THESE HORRIBLE GIRLS when she was suffering through being forced to take care of Gregg and NONE OF THESE AWFUL GIRLS understand what she goes through, so she’s gonna fight for her right to party [with celebrities.] Just shut up NeNe, and also your soapbox is collapsing. So within 10 minutes, Andy was irritatedly telling them to stop and a fish jumped out of the koi pond desperate to escape this torture chamber. Seriously PETA – are you there?

Porsha Williams, Andy Cohen & NeNe Leakes

Porsha is correct: she has been there for NeNe for all her events – including (and especially) that dreadful Bye Wig party. Porsha even planned a SURPRISE GIRLS TRIP to Miami to support the opening of NeNe’s new store, so NeNe can suck it!

I generally start my reunion recaps by complaining about the outfits, but I was too distracted by NeNe’s horribleness this time. Well, NeNe looked great, so pettiness looks good on her. Porsha also looked stunning, glowing, content, and truly happy, and it showed in her demeanor and devil may care attitude. Especially in the way Porsha handled NeNe – treating her not as a superior but as her equal. Even Kandi wasn’t as sassy with the former Queen as Porsha was. That spinoff looks good on you, P!

Eva Marcille

Shamari DeVoe said Eva looked like a tree, which was generous. A Christmas tree skirt to be more precise, or some bad hotel curtains from the 80’s. Eva’s look is always a mess and I know her finances are straaaained a the moment, but a stylist might be a worthwhile investment! Plus there’s a high probability that Eva’s ex would have a harder time spotting her in a crowd if she wasn’t dressed like the last hippie to be dragged out of Woodstock. Or one of those girls desperate to be cast in a Bey video so they go all extra-extra ‘high fasSHUN’.

Anyway, I will own all the shade I throw at Eva’s look, even if Eva can’t own any of the shade she throws at others. But Eva is better than NeNe, who is literally sitting up on this stage insulting her friends under her breath and muttering like a kid in the timeout chair. Kandi comes at Eva over her comment that Shamea Morton was “Blaque with a q.” Kandi thought Eva was being demeaning about the color of Shamea’s skin, but Eva insists she was referring to Shamea’s lack of music career by snarking that she wasn’t a member of a girl group, like Shamari’s Blaque. Um… what? I don’t think Eva was telling the truth, but Kandi graciously just let her have that sword to fall on.

NeNe also got mad that Eva, correctly, called her out on making everything about her – like when NeNe threw a fit at Eva’s bachelorette party and her wedding! NeNe claims these incidents don’t count because in Japan NeNe was annoyed at Tanya Sam not Eva. At the wedding Eva didn’t know she was shaving a meltdown. I just have no words, but I just wanted to add in more details that illustrate how atrociously entitled NeNe’s behavior is!

Exclusive Interview: Tanya Sam On Tokyo Drama, Her Relationship & More About Real Housewives Of Atlanta!

Kandi Burruss & Shamari DeVoe

Kandi is turning turning lemons into lemonade by flipping Mama Joyce‘s diss calling Todd “a lemon” into Todd creating an accompanying drink – no doubt to be sold at OLG. I swear Kandi & Ko. is creating controversy just to create products now. Next it will be Word On The Street Private Detective Agency. Sweetly Andy and Kandi bonded over getting a surrogate and some of the feelings Kandi has been wrestling with regarding her decision. We also learn that Kandi did Celebrity Big Brother because Riley had a dream about Kandi being on the show… Erm, OK.

The biggest fight was over things we didn’t actually SEE on the show, but which played out on social media after filming concluded. Real Housewives Of Atlanta was forced to break these barriers in order to showcase how Twitter and Instagram contributed to NeNe’s sudden personality change shift in mood towards the other women.

Or maybe it was a testament to how lackluster this season of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was that Twitter and Instagram are official “Friends Of…”? Which is when you know this show needs a real shake up – because how dreadful: a Real Housewives show without drama. Cynthia was all too thrilled by her ‘witty’ #CHill hashtag to share her relationship to Mike Hill, but NeNe thought it was desperate and makes Cynthia look “insecure.”

AKA, NeNe is jealous that she’s stuck bringing Gregg juice instead of doing cute, sexy couple pics on the the Gram! Cynthia is upset that NeNe isn’t supportive of her positive relationship. NeNe snaps that she was asked her opinion and answered the question, but Cynthia doesn’t like her the answer her “friend” gave. “Friend” is a heavy, loaded word here — and not loaded like a baked potato!

Cynthia Bailey

Everyone else then takes issue with NeNe using social media to slam Gregg and complain about how he’s been handling his cancer battle. NeNe claims she was just using Twitter to vent because NONE of her horrible friends were available to listen or offer support when SHE is going through SO MUCH. She was also asking her Twitter followers for help with a question about how cancer patients behave. Don’t worry it’s not all about NeNe, though!

Porsha echoes all of us when she just lets out an exhausted sigh (because really it’s like when you’re a parent and your kid is throwing one of those epic tantrums over having Cheerios in the wrong cup and you’re just like I am DONE). In return, NeNe mutters under her breath that Porsha is a “blimp.” Seriously! She fat shamed a 9-month pregnant woman! I love how Porsha is so unbothered by NeNe that she just rolls her eyes and makes goofy stank face any time NeNe gets high fallutin’ with her rants about how she does not owe anyone an explanation for her egregious behavior!

NeNe Leakes Tweet

Finally Andy brings up a supremely passive-aggressive, bitchy tweet NeNe posted about a “close friend” who isn’t pretty and is insecure, but NeNe refuses to reveal who she was referring to. Could that tweet be aimed at Cynthia perhaps? Cynthia is sure it can’t be, because being a former super model and all no one wold call her “not that pretty,” but NeNe did accuse her of being “insecure…” Cynthia’s Nancy Drew game is very weak!

Oh NeNe – so nasty and so rude! Oh Cynthia – so pretty and so naive!


[Photo Credits: Bravo]