Part 3 of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion was like a loaded baked potato. So many morsels to digest!
So first what about Porsha Williams‘ belt!? We’re back in NeNe Leakes‘ closet of horrors where she didn’t want her Kim Zolciak wig shrine discovered so she used force, magical crystals, and Jedi Mind Tricks to keep all her friends out. Or maybe there were roaches in there – who knows?
What we do know is that at some point NeNe choked out a producer, scratched him, and had him pinned against the wall, but she doesn’t feel bad about it at all. This producer also suffered from a cracked (or lost?) tooth and had to go to the hospital for injuries. This was after NeNe reportedly shoved a pregnant Porsha and ripped a cameraman’s shirt trying to stop him from entering the closet. I don’t believe Porsha filmed audio of her yelling “I’m scared” after the fact.
A couple things are shocking to me here: 1) Andy Cohen seems to have no idea what really happened in that closet (doesn’t he produce these shows? Or have inside sources?!); 2) Eva Marcille defends NeNe’s actions as being justified because the assaults took place in her home. Thankfully Tanya Sam is super quick to be like No way! Get your mind out of the ghetto and into reality (or even reality TV); 3) We still don’t know what happened with the belt.
Porsha and Kandi Burruss both maintain that they went into NeNe’s closet because they didn’t believe she was serious about them staying out, and, had they known it would escalate into violence, they both would’ve realized THE DOOR IS CLOSED. Of course both Kandi and Porsha feel NeNe’s outsize reaction was insane and ridiculous, especially given how they were good friends to her and both had been comforting her downstairs before the incident. Porsha is adamant that she really was scared after walking out of the closet and seeing NeNe pinning a producer to the wall. She also says NeNe pushed her in the back to get her to exit the closet and that’s when her belt came undone. I really don’t know what to think if the timeline, or the accusations, but I do think it is very telling that NeNe is non-responsive and defensive. She literally tells Andy that she feels bad for how much profanity she used, but not for choking people?! Girl…
This is NeNe’s aura for the entire reunion: stonewalling. I am disgusted that Eva is defending her around every turn. Maybe NeNe is paying Eva’s bills in exchange? I am not surprised Marlo Hampton is also NeNe’s ride or die. That’s literally the only thing Eva and Marlo have in common besides living in Atlanta.
This is a mess. Especially after we saw clips from earlier reunions where NeNe was advising Porsha not to get violent on camera. Bloop!
Moving on to Eva’s finances (or lack thereof!) and broken bride-maids. Eva defends spending $250,000k on her wedding, then goes into some long, convoluted tale about her money matters; claiming at one point that she was always meant to move the week after her wedding, then backtracking and implying something different.
The bottom line is that Eva is in the red. She needs to raid Marlo’s closet, steal out all the vintage Chanel, and eBay that shit to make a profit to rent a decent place. Eva swears she is outrunning her abusive ex and before Marlo participated in broadcasting her whereabouts on TV, she was fine, but now her abusive ex knows where to find her and their daughter, Marley. In all of this Eva isn’t mad at Marlo for bringing all this to the public’s attention by taking that bride-maid’s call, but she is mad at NeNe who secretly kept her mic on while filming with Eva and Michael Sterling as they opened up about the contentious situation with Marley’s father.
Eva’s musical chairs version of housing is nothing compared to her bride-maids putting her on blast. One, little, two, little three little disgruntled bride-maids, all with tales to tell! Tell Marlo that is! We’ve all heard about Sharina, the bridesmaid who made the infamous call to Marlo alleging that Eva is broke (c’mon we know she is. We also know she’s not making no $40k per Instagram post). Eva insists she has just one betraying bridesmaid, but the other ladies all insist it’s 3. All these bridesmaids are so adamant Eva is a lesbian, that they’re starting to suspect Eva and Sarina were together and Sharina’s actions are those of a lover scorned. Eva denies being an LA-Only lesbian, and having an affair with a married woman named “C.” If I were Eva I’d prefer that to be my storyline than my broke-down bank account!
The bulk of the reunion was spent dissecting whether or not Cynthia Bailey and Kandi conspired to set NeNe up by sneaking Kenya Moore into a promotional party for a bottled peach Bellini wine cooler. We’re not even talking about a fresh peach Bellini which is perfect considering how STALE this argument is.
Yes, of course the footage of Cynthia uttering that she’s supposed to pretend not to know Kenya is there is damning in. But the problem is that no one can stand NeNe’s stank face anymore so we’re all more OK with believing Cynthia. Shady or not.
My favorite moment was when Cynthia announced that she really didn’t care if NeNe believed her or not. Cynthia is frustrated that she has to defend herself to someone who is supposed to be her friend and she’s frustrated that after all she’s done for NeNe over a 9-year friendship is dismissed quicker than NeNe’s career as an actress. As for Marlo and Eva ( a literal non-factor who did not get the memo that defending NeNe is not the key to relevance here), Cynthia reminds them that when NeNe is done with you -you’ll be in the garbage too. There are no second chances, and no room for human emotions on NeNe’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta! NeNe has a short memory if she thinks we don’t remember her casting aside Marlo a few seasons back – after Marlo was a bride-maid in her wedding. And how Marlo immediately cozied up to Kenya for TV Time.
NeNe’s point is that Cynthia is a hypocrite for not warning her that Kenya had been invited (even though she declined) when Cynthia had been lecturing NeNe about inviting Yovanna to the Bye Wig party without warning Eva. According to NeNe that was her house and therefore different circumstances. Really?
I really do not get Eva constantly going on the defense for NeNe. It’s embarrassing and tragic – especially when NeNe was an active participant in trying to embarrass Eva over her finances. Furthermore, there is no reason defend a woman who is physically assaulting her friends and co-workers, being rude and dismissive to her boss, and snottily answering “I’m fine” or “I have nothing to say” to any of his questions.
Kandi is adamant that she brought Kenya to the party and Cynthia had no idea. NeNe responds by icing Kandi out and sniping that she’s “not important.” As for the footage of Cynthia telling Mike she’s not supposed to know Kenya was there, Cynthia claims she had INVITED Kenya and was told by Kenya that she wasn’t going to come if cameras were there (which is the least believable part of this, in my opinion), so she was just explaining that she had invited Kenya and NeNe didn’t know. Convoluted backpedaling for sure! It sounds to me like Cynthia feels guilty she didn’t warn NeNe that Kenya was invited. This is because Cynthia has been the victim of NeNe’s abuse, manipulations, and Scientology-style mind warping for seasons.
Still Cynthia should’ve at least told NeNe she invited Kenya.
Regardless Cynthia doesn’t believe anything she did warrants NeNe and Marlo calling her a bitch behind her back and threatening to cuss her out during the party, or snarking that Kenya was giving birth to a buffalo. In what is the most amazing Cynthia moment, literally ever, because her robot brain had been disconnected and finally she was a real woman again, Cynthia shrugged that if NeNe wants to fall out over petty stuff so be it, but she is not going to be investing anymore energy into a negative unfulfilling friendship that doesn’t benefit her in anyway. As Real Housewives Of Atlanta heads to commercial break Cynthia can be heard muttering that this isn’t worth the money – this was after she told Andy she’d consider moving to LA if Mike asked her to!
The Cynthia of this reunion should’ve been here a few seasons ago. She’s smart and sassy, without reading people and she is right to point about the many of the comments NeNe made about Cynthia during the season were worse than inviting Kenya to a group cast party to celebrate a phony product launch. NeNe has decided, though, that it is a betrayal and that Marlo is her only true sister on this stage.
Andy even asks NeNe how she’s doing, and her final words on the matter were, “I’m good.” Meaning she’s good without Cynthia in her life. Well, Cynthia is good too. More than good. She’s #CHill.
Porsha doesn’t want Cynthia and NeNe to lose their friendship over Bravo nonsense, but the ball is in NeNe’s court. And apparently that’s where NeNe believes the ball lives like she is Hercules from Sandlot, guarding ALL THE BALLS even the ones that aren’t hers, don’t belong in her doghouse, and that she doesn’t even want.
Everyone – even Andy – hopes Cynthia and NeNe can come back together and realize that their friendship matters, but I like this assertive Cynthia who is over it. I’m tired of her kowtowing to NeNe which is a pattern that began in Cynthia’s first season when she was seriously out of her depth and didn’t know anyone in Atlanta. Cynthia doesn’t need NeNe and it seems she’s beginning to realize this. The one good that came out of Closetgate is that Porsha and Kandi also bonded over the incident and finally were able to put their issues behind them.
The reunion ended with Porsha taking everyone to church with a prayer for Pilar, then called PJ. Porsha thanks the Housewives for providing many examples of strong womanhood to her daughter and that’s about the nicest thing anyone could possible say about Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Amen and goodnight to season 11!
TELL US – CAN NENE AND CYNTHIA BECOME FRIENDS AGAIN? SHOULD THEY? IS EVA HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]