Yolanda Foster went rogue with her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog last week (and possibly got in trouble, as it was later wiped out, severely edited, and posted on Bravo), but she turned her blog over to Bravo this week. As per usual, it is 90% journey and 10% episode.
Yolanda‘s blog, which reads like her self-nomination for sainthood, begins, “As I watch the season unfold and observe myself going back six months in time, I feel so much gratitude for the improvement I have made and still hopeful for a full recovery.” Which she has tentatively scheduled on the day after her divorce from David “My Alimony“ Foster is settled.
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Yolanda reminds us that there’s a higher purpose to her journey. “When I first got diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and learned about the stigma around it, I chose to share and bring awareness to this ignored disease,” she stresses, “whose surrounding controversy feels like such an unfair and shameful affair.”
“It has been a humbling experience to learn that most people don’t understand invisible disease, because they can’t actually see sickness on one’s skin,” says Yolanda. “The fact that a poppy seed-size tick can bring such devastation to one’s life is insane – the fact that we can’t get the treatment we deserve is even more unbelievable.”
Yolanda demands we take chronic Lyme disease seriously and cries out for all the “financially devastated” patients she has encountered during her search for the cure. Yet she never seems to share what has or has not worked for herself, you know, to spare those who can’t afford to waste money on quack treatments.
“Spiritually shaming those suffering from invisible chronic disease is something we really need to take a look at,” insists Yolanda. “Hundreds of thousands of gay men were shamed into believing HIV was their disease only. Now, 30 years later, we all know the truth, don’t we? I feel such deep compassion and speak with conviction for all of those affected, and my spirit is unbreakable, but I also have to learn not to let this get the best of me, because sometimes it just does.”
Yolanda recalls her recent visit with Dr. Klinghardt (in the photo above), who says 50% of healing is done in the emotional and spiritual body.
“Hearing stories from patients also seeking a cure, who show me their gratitude for the voice I am for them – a profound experience – and a day at the doctor’s office reminds me of why I’m doing this,” enthuses Yolanda. “I went back to the hotel one night, feeling discouraged from seeing so many debilitated patients at the clinic [and] sick from treatment myself, I crawled into bed and started crying from pure exhaustion.”
Yolanda admits to “thoughts of weakness” during her visit with Dr. Klinghardt, adding, “But then when I thought of those people whose challenges are greater then mine, my two children and their offspring one day.. I know that my quest is a necessity.”
Addressing the actual episode (the whole point of these blogs), Yolanda says she was experiencing “very limited brain function” at the restaurant. And that, combined with not knowing who she can believe and trust anymore, is why she started to cry while talking to Lisa Vanderpump.
Yolanda reflects on her behavior so far this season, saying, “Even though my reactions are to others’ actions, it still doesn’t make it right for any of us women to get tangled in this unpleasant web.”
“It is time for me to let go of any negativity. I feel for not only some of the women in this group but for those in my life who choose to judge my journey. In order to get to the finish line, I must address forgiveness and practice love starting in my own heart. I always try to have the attitude that it doesn’t matter what others think of you,” shares Yolanda. “What matters is what you think of yourself, but sometimes that belief system shifts as the pressures of life get the best of you.”
Yolanda concludes, “I was not raised to fear people with a difference of opinion but rather see the greatness that exists in each and everyone of us.”
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Photo Credit: Instagram