yolanda-foster

This week, I’d rate Yolanda Foster‘s blog an 8, instead of her normal 10 plus infinity, on the self-important scale. Yolanda reminds us that she wants no more attention brought to is over the Munchuasen story and breaks down this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Yolanda begins, “I have chosen to no longer engage in the Munchausen story but rather preserve my energy and use it where necessary in my healing process. It is important for me to stay on my path of gratitude. I choose to follow the knowledge and clarity of knowing who I am and what I stand for rather than participating in insincere gossip about my disease.”

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That said, Yolanda deems Lisa Rinna‘s confession about Lisa Vanderpump worthy of her healing energy, “I must say, though, that tonight’s revelations are shocking, and if Rinna’s statements are true, this will not be the last we hear of it.”

Ratting out Lisa Vanderpump – GOOD. Two hearts for Eileen for her recruit.

Yolanda did not appreciate Lisa exposing the fact that Yo was hanging out and taking happy selfies with her real (SMH) friends, Kim Richards and Brandi Glanville, just a few hours before calling out swollen and sick selfie kind of day to her fake friend, Erika Girardi.

Ratting out Yolanda Foster – BAD. It’s SO hard to find good help these days.

Rinna made it sound like me cancelling dinner was some disloyal gesture to Erika,” complains Yolanda. “What she didn’t know was that when Erika invited me, I had already committed to brunch across the street with Brandi and Kim to celebrate Kim’s birthday, which I had previously missed.”

Walking across the street used up Yolanda‘s spoons, “Even though I slept the rest of the day, I realized my spoons were up. I felt bad for not being able to make it to Erika‘s but like a good friend she knows my track record these days and has no expectations of my limitations – there is no judgment attached.”

Hey, at least Yolanda finally spelled her “good friend” Erika’s name right.

Yolanda questions why Lisa got “so worked up” (you know… brought attention to a picture Yolanda, Drunk, or Drunker put out in the universe) about matters that didn’t involve her, adding, “Getting in the middle of other people’s personal business and relationships seems to be a running theme for her.”

Feeling sad about how Erika‘s dinner turned out, “I have noticed a pattern in this evolving, self realization period where people are making a conscious effort to learn mindfulness and freedom of expression when engaging in everyday life. Such a practice is much needed in a decade that has become the forefront to much change from transgender awareness to building empires on our smart phones. I can hardly keep up!”

Transgender awareness, building empires? What the hell is Yo talking about?

Yolanda gushes over her new Dream Team, Erika (Hired by Bravo) Girardi and Eileen (Misted by C*unty) Davidson. “Erika so beautifully touched on the practice of respect. Freedom of expression is not a permit to be disrespectful,” she says, “and it seems there are blurred lines when it comes to this, especially when social media is involved. Anyways, it’s great to see Erika and Eileen’s authenticity and their ability to stand up for what is right – I am glad to know that true friendships still exist.”

Note to Yo: being sick isn’t a permit to be an untouchable condescending bitch.

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