Okay. So, wow. Last night's Mob Wives reunion took a page out of the Shahs of Sunset debacle with a sit down dinner hosted by Sherri Shepherd. Big Ang is wearing a sequined hoodie that was definitely inspired by the great Whitney Houston's role in The Bodyguard. I really don't know what else to say. Sherri announces that the women have joined together to break bread instead of breaking tables. That's a plus.
Right off the bat, Sherri asks Alicia diMichele Garofalo about where her sentencing stands. Alicia reveals that because the restitution portion of her case has yet to be settled, the judge had to postpone her sentencing. We are then treated to highlights of the colossal beat down drama between Natalie Guercio and Renee Graziano. The women laugh that Ang, who gets along with everyone, was wary of Natalie, while Renee initially thought Natalie was her mini-me. I don't think I've ever seen a more hilarious video montage than one themed "Delicious." Renee calls the comment rude, and Sherri tries to impart that Natalie was trying to pay her beau a compliment. In no way does Renee think that Natalie was hitting on her man, but she finds the term incredibly disrespectful. Drita D'avanzo agrees, but not the extent that Renee does. Remind me that if I ever find myself at meal cooked by Renee to have a pocketful of synonyms!
Part two of the Shahs of Sunset reunion was not nearly as explosive as part one but there were a few moments worth discussing. So my favorites revolve around Lilly Ghalichi andMercedes "MJ" Javid's crazy mom Vida, but MJ saying that only Persians have to deal with responsibilities like working, caring for pets, cooking, and cleaning definitely deserves a shout out. What. A. Twit.
To kick things off,Andy Cohen revisits Reza Farahan attacking Sasha earlier this season. Reza claims he's sorry then starts in with his "woe is me" excuses. He says Sasha talking about the Iranian Revolution set him off, adding, "None of them can understand how that makes me feel – I am someone who suffered for 40 years because of the crap they did in Iran. My name is Reza and I look like this. My name is not Lilly. My name is not Mike. My name is Reza and I look like this. I am as Persian as Persian gets when you look at me."
Andy is like, how does that justify insulting Sasha? Andy insists FOB (fresh off the boat) is a hateful thing to say to someone. Reza and MJ disagree. MJ calls it mere teasing. Andy reminds them that Reza made fun of Sasha's accent also. Reza says, "Absolutely!" MJ adds, "It's really annoying." Two peas in a pod.
While everyone else appears to be growing up, planning for the future and attempting to compromise (albeit accompanied by hysterical sobbing), Jenelle gets stupider by the day. Instead of ultrasounds she needs a brainscan for this amazing condition she's developed of never being able to make a rational choice – EVER!
So let's start with Jenelle, shall we. Get your barf bag ready!
Jenelle just took a pregnancy test and it said "pregnant!". Babs is teaching Jace to count while Jenelle is scrutinizing the pregnancy test trying to count the lines – one is a very faint pink. Her friend Tori (of the bright red hair) is there to deliver the Come To Jesus lecture and help Jenelle decipher the test. As if Jenelle who's been pregnant as many times as Michelle Duggar can't figure this out. Maybe the second pink line is caused by the reflection of Tori's hair?
I am really having a hard time watching this mess. I can't even think of a witty introduction to last night's Dance Moms because I personally want to rip that bump-it out of Abby Lee Miller's hair every time she speaks. The girls have gone from fun-loving talents to terrified robots. Shame on her.
Abby, Melissa, and her daughters arrive in Los Angeles so that MacKenzie can get into the recording studio. What is Abby now? A pop star manufacturer? Abby wants to make sure that MacKenzie has the personality and energy to be a mini-Katy Perry. She interrupts the session to tell the poor girl that she is performing like Brooke, and that isn't a compliment. MacKenzie puts a little oomph into her singing, and Abby is finally seeing her star potential…at least one of us is. She and Abby head back to Pittsburgh while Maddie stays behind for a performance of her own.
With the start of the pyramid, Abby reminds the girls that she is looking for a dancer to be her Maddie when Maddie is off doing more important things…like a job in L.A. Nia is at the bottom because of her headpiece debacle, followed by Kendall. She's clearly the reason that her duet with Kalani didn't place first as Kalani and Maddie took the top prize in their duet. Of course, Kalani learns a bit about Abby and her fickle ways when she goes from the top of they pyramid to the bottom row. Chloe is third and praised for her duet Maddie, but she needs to work on her facial expressions. MacKenzie is in second for her brilliant work with the candy box in the group number. Christi wonders why MacKenzie is above Chloe after Chloe won both of her dances. Duh, Christi! The candy box! When Maddie is once again in the top spot, Jill scoff that it's predictable.
Last night was the premiere of Private Lives of Nashville Wives and so far I'm loving it! The ladies and the friendships seem genuine and fun, the husbands are adorable, and the interactions seem authentic. The houses are fabulous but not ridiculous and the relationships seem authentic.
It's CMA Festival week in Nashville which means the town is bumping with parties, events, music festivals. and entertainment.
Jenny Terrell is my favorite wife so far. She is married to JT, who runs a party-supply company that everyone in Nashville uses, and she herself is a national sales director for Living Social. They have a son named Hank and JT is basically a stay-at-home dad as his business runs itself. "I should write a book," he jokes about balancing business, family, and love. "You should," Jenny agrees and the wheels start spinning. Their house looks like a tree house, BTW.
They take Hank to the park and Jenny is wearing like a schoolgirl outfit with white tennis shoes and socks. Oooohhh… girl. No. I also don't think she owns a brush but maybe it's because she's too busy having fun to care. Isn't there a Living Social deal for hairbrushes or anti-frizz treatments or something?
I don't know what to think. Is this a 4-way gang up on Lisa Vanderpump? Or is this Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Fosterwere once on a Dream Team with Lisa and for some odd reason decided to split and take Lisa down by pulling others into the middle?
Meaning, that yes – Lisa was part of "tabloids-in-the-suitcase-gate" which is the new necklace-gate, which is the new-skipped-my-party-gate, which is the new stop-being-my-mama-gate which is the new ewww-get-my-husband's-mistress-out-my-plastic-face-gate, which is the new hair-flip-your-friends-talk-ish-about-you-gate, which is the new don't-talk-about-my-husband's-ALLEGED-cheating-gate. Basically we've come full circle and we're back to talking about Kyle Richardsand Mauricio's cheating, which NO ONE – I repeat NO ONE – cared about in the first place except Kyle who probably planted the stories to begin with!
Being Farrah entails many things. It does not entail telling the truth, accepting responsibility for your actions, or acting like an adult – just an adult film star.
We check in with the former Teen Mom as if we haven't seen enough of her on Couples Therapy, and Farrah Abraham tells us she's raising Sophia alone – or not because she's actually living with her dad Michael and traveling all over for her big important career of not being in the adult entertainment industry or taking a break from reality TV.
While Farrah is off being Farrah, Michael is actually raising Sophia in the huge enormous house Farrah's not being a porn star career paid for, but she doesn't want to talk about all that. Like ick! Now that MTV is back, so is Farrah. Lucky Sophia!
Debra and Michael are now divorced. Debra moved 1000 miles away and was happy in isolation until MTV knocked on her door with cameras. "How did you find me?" she whispers. "Leave me alone…" Next time try the witness protection program, Debra! And try wearing a less flamboyant coat than that full-length leopard-print number.
Overnight it seems Kenya Moore and Marlo have become tighter than Marlo's wardrobe. Although I don't think anyone would describe them as friends – more like thick as thieves because they are up to some plotting!
Reeling in the aftermath of Kenya's charity event in which NeNe was honored but not honored (nor honorable) NeNe admits to Gregg (aka Tagalong) that she turned into NayNay, her super-ghetto alter-ego who likes to go all PLONK! and circumstance. As he listens to his wife's tale of woe, Gregg is sipping coffee from a toilet-shaped mug. I can't help but wonder… Is Gregg's toilet mug an indication of the status of his life? He's flushed his integrity and self-respect down the toilet for fame.