Unfortunately, I can’t go back to an easier time when memories of “go-go juice” and “sketti” served in the finest of Cool-Whip containers meant that life was simple, back when one’s only concerns were exposing forklift foot if a water park’s rip-roarin’ slide proved too much for a pedicured ankle sock or whether a scheduling conflict with the local railroad would create a loud, late night train situation. Nope, I can’t hop in my Kuntry Store purchased time machine and unlearn all I now know about the folks of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Thanks June Shannon.
When TLC’s cash cow was at the height of popularity, the line was clearly drawn before those who (like me) found the family’s ridiculous antics equally endearing and disgusting and those who thought the show’s fans were verging on insanity. Sure, the six-year-old beauty queen wannabe Alana Thompson was sassy to the point of rude, but her one-liners were everything. The family was open about their past struggles (June, a grandmother in her mid-thirties has four daughters from various incarcerated men), but who am I to judge? Plus, what’s not to love about Sugar Bear?
June shared on Facebook that despite negative reports, she’s not having any problems with Jessica! Instead, after the former Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family relocated to Hampton, GA to cosplay The Beverly Hillbillies in a big new house, Jessica decided to remain in McIntyre to focus on graduating high school.
“The reason Jessica stayed in McIntyre is cause she only has two and half mths to graduate,” June insisted. “It was a hard decision but she wanted to graduate with her friends she had been with for 10 yrs but she comes home and we talk and I’m up on all her progress still.” June added that Jessica plans to start college in the fall. June also didn’t elaborate on where Jessica was living!
Okay, okay. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong (pours out some wine for the amazing Jerry Orbach), and I was wrong about the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family. Once upon a time, I was the reality phenomenon’s biggest defender. Heck, I even made ‘sketti with butter and ketchup in a Country Crock container for a HCHBB viewing party! False. That was a giant lie. Not even I am that gross.
However, I did love this family’s dynamic. Mama June seemed extremely grounded in light of her crew’s sky rocketing fame (remember those trust funds?). Sugar Bear was (and honestly still is, or at least seems to be) a guy who just wants to do right by his common law (that marriage ceremony was bogus, right?) wife, their daughter, and his step-children. Alana Thompson, aka Honey Boo Boo herself, was everything you could have hoped for in a cheese-ball chomping, pageant preening, fart loving seven-year-old. Of course, when the news broke that June had left Sugar Bear and reconciled with the pedophile who had victimized her oldest daughter, I had to stomp on my rose colored glasses and throw them in the dump that family once foraged for our entertainment. Le sigh.
If you’ve been following the deplorable news of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo then you know Mama June is now back in a relationship with the man who molested her eldest daughter Anna Cardwell. If that’s not disgusting enough, Anna now reveals that June has stolen money her children earned on reality TV to buy him a car and other things!
Mark McDaniel spent ten years in prison for child molestation charges, got out, and immediately rekindled things with June, causing her to break-up with Sugar Bear, put all of her daughters, but most specifically Honey Boo Boo herself, Alana, at risk. Anna believes her sisters are in danger “if Mark’s back in the picture.” Anna, now 20, feels betrayed by June’s decisions and claims that June still doesn’t believe Mark molested her.
Anna initially did not believe reports that her mother had gotten back together with Mark, but has since confirmed their relationship. Anna feels June’s relationship with Mark is “ruining” her mother’s life, leading her to not only endanger her children and their relationships to their mother, but also steal from them!
TLC canceled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo when the scandal broke that Mama June got back together with Mark McDaniel, the man who molested her daughter Anna Cardwell. The network had nearly completed filming for the fourth season when they decided to pull the plug and not air the footage – and they blame Mama June entirely! As a result Mama June will lose most of her salary for the unaired season – but her three daughters will be paid-in-full!
TLC has made the decision to put paycheck money in trust for Pumpkin, Chubs, and Alana Thompson, while seriously reducing June’s earnings under the stipulation that she violated the networks “morality” clause when she entered into a relationship with a child molester. The network is confident they have the legal grounds to do this, says TMZ.
Sugar Bear and Uncle Poodle, Alana’s uncle, will also receive their full salaries because they are not responsible for any behaviors that would have put the show at risk of cancellation.
Mama June doesn’t care what supposed evidence you might have – she continues to deny dating convicted child molester Mark McDaniel and Sugar Bear is right by her side! Man – this story just gets more and more messed up!
Yesterday Mama June gave an impromptu and bizarre interview about what’s happening in her life since the story broke of her relationship with Mark and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was canceled by TLC as a result of the scandal. Standing outside her Georgia home, June laughed and acted flippantly for the cameras and saying nothing has changed with her family! “The whole truth will come out on my side,” she maintains.
“We are doing it behind closed doors, that’s how I am. I’m very quiet. I love my family…” June remarked. “We’re just hanging out as a family and handling it privately.”
Be careful on the roads, people! Stop texting and driving! Slow down! Use your headlights! For goodness sake, pay some friggin' attention when you're behind the wheel! I shall step off my soapbox now and inform you that on Monday, the Shannon Thompson clan of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo fame, was involved in a terrible car wreck. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured, but it sounds like a scary ordeal!
First reported by TMZ, sources claim that Sugar Bear was driving the family's new Suburban while June, Pumpkin (Lauryn), Chubbs (Jessica), and Honey Boo Boo (Alana) were along for the ride as passengers. Apparently, Sugar Bear was trying to make a left hand turn on a green light when a truck (allegedly speeding and sans headlights) plowed into the family's vehicle.