Last night was part 3 of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion and it was officially the end of an era. Teresa Giudice, headed to prion in a few scant months, told Andy Cohen this was probably it for her – she meant it – she seemed at peace and ready to move on. “I 80% regret doing the show and 20% don’t,” she admitted.
Teresa didn’t go into why she regrets it, but I think we can all surmise that one of those reasons was sitting to her left in a white dress, and the other two were backstage pretending to be pure of motive, while eating cannoli, and the third one was in the green room having his 5th or 6th glass of rotten egg smelling wine; tawking too loud and laughing a bit too convincingly like everything was OK. Now sure, Teresa is mostly sowrry she got caught defrauding banks, but I think she’s mostly mostly sowrry that she’s realized how much she has to lose. Mostly her dawters – she wishes she could take them with her because she’ll miss them so much.
Teresa says her favorite memory on the show was Audriana being born in season 2. And when she gets out of jail she doesn’t think she’ll be back – instead she wants a cooking show. I do not think Teresa will be back. I think she will get a spinoff, of that I am positive. Will she take that spinoff? Who knows. Yes, she’s broke. And I also think this the perfect time for Bravo to wipe the slate clean and completely start afresh with all new women. Sowrry Melis!
“I kind of meant what I said on that couch — this show is so f—ed up. As I sit and watch the reunion, I wonder what goes through people’s head sometimes. Bobby literally spitting on me as he screams at a friend of 10 years, Jim whipping out his files and then of all things says I have a fat ass, LOL! For what? Fame? I literally sat there saying to myself time and time again, “What the hell am I doing here?” Again, not ever saying I’m too good, but just different.”
Last night was the second installment of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion. I don’t want to go into the stupidness that is stupid Teresa Giudice and her stupid financial nonsense and stupid decisions that made her go to jail. I mean damn, read what you sign, ask questions if you don’t understand - hello!
The most laughable comment from the whole reunion was Teresa trying to convince us that she’s usually a very conscientious-y type of person who “always dots her ‘I’s and crosses her ‘T’s.” First of all, she knows two letters in the alphabet? Bet they were both used a lot in the PLEA AGREEMENT Teresa didn’t read, but signed. Second of all, if you were a routine “i” dotter or a “t” crosser you’d not get indicted for bankruptcy fraud or sign fake W-2s because you’d actually make sure the people you hire, like your accountant, are doing their jobs! And finally – I’m frankly surprised Teresa was able to use that expression correctly. I would fully expect her to say something like “I’m the type-a person who crosses eyes and dots my teacup, with you know, fabulicious teas – coming soon!”
Let’s just say this, Denial is the longest river in New Jersey. The river of denial flows right out of Melissa Gorga‘s $3.8 million Montville mansion (where they had the big ol’ plumbing disaster and the leaky pipes and the plastic sink) and it roars down the hill into the chicken coops of Teresa and Joe’s purloined marble encrusted converted trailer, built at the base of Mount Tackiola. Now for sale, delusion included in purchase price!
Are my eyes deceiving me?!? Has Amber Marchese written her shortest Real Housewives of New Jersey blog of the season? Yes, I think she has. Thank you, Jesus! In the blog, Amber schooled us about what happens at a reunion, questioned whether or not Dina Manzo has a heart, defended her use of “The Cancer” ad nauseam, and sided with Jacqueline Laurita in the messy Laurita/ Manzo family feud.
“Hello Housewife friends,” exclaimed Amber. “Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was ‘The Great Purge’ and when I went home I felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some.”
Dina and Jacqueline have already spent oodles and oodles of time telling us how they feel on twitter, through the haze of wine and cat hair, each of them accuses the other of lying. Unfortunately 140 characters (even when you tweet over and over again!) just isn’t enough. I do wish we could limit wine and delusion in the same manner we limit twitter type-age, although it’s usually user-abuse that causes the issues (i.e. tweeting constantly.).
Jacqueline Laurita wasn’t able to attend the season six Real Housewives of New Jerseyreunion, so she took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the topics as it aired. Ugh. Raise your hand if you’re shocked. “Not on the reunion but I’ll probably tweet during it,” she tweeted before the show. Probably? HAHAHA!
Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New Jersey season 6 reunion kicks off. Teresa Giudice is wearing her finest solid gold Christmas pageant couture to harken back to happier times of reunions when she was just feuding with friends and family instead of heading off to prison! At least Teresa is going out with a bang in designer Christmas Pageant couture, that is!
Tonight Dina Manzo will open up about her family drama and Teresa will storm off set in a huff. Which is all fun and everything, but I just want to know who is wearing what and if it came from Posche.