Get your Tom + Katie tea towels ready to clean up the muck that has become Vanderpump Rules!
Recovering from Christmas and an ultimate cookie binge, the last thing I’m in the mood for is whining from Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. But, alas, I am nothing if not a consummate professional, so I have wrenched myself from the sluggish glut of a living room filled with wrapping paper (how many calories does wading through wrapping paper burn?) to complete this recap. Happy holidays! Katie just blew her life savings on $18.00 custom tea towels, and her life now consists of hatefully glaring at Tom Schwartz while folding said towels into cardboard boxes, wrapping the whole thing with twine, and mailing it. In case you were wondering wtf: that’s her wedding invite.
Of course, Kyle shared this adorable news on social media, but the pup actually remained nameless for a few days. Well, now things are officially official and the Richards/Umansky family has another new (and named) member. And I just want to know if she’s met Giggy and Harrison Vanderpump yet.
Lisa explains her decision to return was in part due to the fact that Dorit was there to ease things and provide some much needed laughs. “After last season it was extraordinarily difficult to come back into this group, but it was made much easier by the addition of Dorit…Dorit is most definitely a friend who I can have a giggle with, talking about Harrison being a mop, laughing about the rubber, pepper spray comments, harmless self-deprecating remarks without any boundaries, just enjoyable moments that friends can indulge in. In a world that is so troubled, in times where chaos is so prevalent everywhere we look, it is an essential part of my life to have humorous banter and be secure by the fact that each time you turn away, there is not a blade inserted between your shoulders.”
Erika shares that she’s not a big fan of LVP‘s humor. “Lisa Vanderpump is talking about British humor again at the pre-White Party get-together. She often defends her snarky remarks as being “British humor,” but she also describes this humor as being “way more aggressive.” So, are you trying to be funny or aggressive? I love a good joke just as much as the next person, but this “humor” often feels like thinly veiled insults.”
It’s a real struggle for me to think of things that Kristen Doute and her former boss Lisa Vanderpump have in common. In fact, the only one I can think of is that they both have a strong love for animals. In fact, Kristen is now a doggie foster mom. Unfortunately, the good news ends there since Kristen’s dog Bowie is missing.
Kristen’s dog has been missing for about a day now and, as expected, she has been frantically searching for the dog all over the area and posting on social media.
According to Dorit, that in addition to being truly special friends with LVP, they are two peas in a pod. “You don’t come across a lot of people in life who you can count on and connect with. It’s great to be so playful with Lisa,” she shares. “I just love her and I can’t stop laughing most of the time.”
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills always gives us a glimpse of the rare and finer things in life, right?! All the finer things… from fine China to the family jewels…
Lisa Rinna is off to New York to launch Delilah’s career as the next Gigi Hadid. Of course, Lisa acknowledges that Yolanda would have been a great ally and mentor right about now, so too bad about that Munchausen accusation last season. But let’s not dwell on the past, now. Let’s focus on how Lipsa is flying into her (and Delilah’s) future.
In NY, Lipsa meets up with Kyle Richards, who is opening yet another Kyle By KaftansToo (?!?!?!?!) all while wearing yet another goofy, incomprehensible outfit. Shouldn’t she call them like Kyle By MumusForever just for variety?
It’s a cold day in L.A. before I take Scheana Marie‘s side about anything, but thanks to last night’s Vanderpump Rules that icy apocalypse has arrived.
Does anyone even understand what happened last night? It was essentially 30-year-old women playing drunken telephone as if bringing a stupid bridal party game to real life. Somehow, Stassi Schroeder took a situation that she was not a part of in any way, and through heresy, put her own special Stassi spin on it until it dildo-in-acid exploded on Scheana, soaking her in the bile of bad friendships and her own bad karma.