Ramona Singer is becoming this season’s Real Housewives of New York professional apologizer (and for good reason!). And in her latest Bravo blog, she brushes up on her skills. “Well I guess I put my foot in my mouth big time at Dorinda [Medley’s]birthday dinner at Petrossian,” admits Ramona. “Instead of taking the compliment graciously that Heather [Thomson] gave me and Luann [de Lesseps] agreed with, I turned it around into an argument when I said they both never got me the way Dorinda did.”
Wishing she would have kept the Ramonacoaster ride strictly in “park” that night, Ramona explains, “My punishment for that was served up coldly–or should I say hotly–by Luann when she angrily started in about a conversation we had about John and Dorinda.” Ramona declares, “OMG, when will I learn to keep my mouth totally shut?! I should have just been stuffing it with caviar.”
Summer technically beings three weeks from today, but Memorial Day weekend marks the unofficial start to summer for many. For me, it begins to feel like summer after my daughter’s annual dance recital, which usually leads into my kids’ last week of school. They are going to be bouncing off the walls. If you need me, I will be hiding in a corner with a bottle of wine. I’m kidding. 😉 Maybe.
She’s bringing Uptown a whole new Smackdown! In her Bravo blog, Dorinda Medley gives us her take on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, covering the gamut of poor housewifery dinner behavior, not-so-sneaky Kmart digs, and awkward therapy sessions. Dorinda begins by revisiting the dinner conversation she had with Ramona Singer about divorce: “Fireplace and vodka…that cures everything. I knew we needed a little drink to warm up to the divorce chat. And like I’ve always said about divorce, it’s a process. There is no one meeting or one decision and certainly not one conclusion. It’s the dismantling of a long, loving relationship that involves many years and a beautiful child, so it has to be handled with caution, respect, and grace…if possible.” She adds that “Ramona seems to be on track, her confidence is booming, and she seems ready for the next step. The fact that Mario and Avery are even speaking, let alone are on good terms, makes me so incredibly happy. Avery’s a great girl, and quite frankly, Mario’s always been a great father. What happens with Ramona and Mario does not and should not ever change that fact.”
When it comes her very polarizing main squeeze, John, Dorinda says she knew bringing him up at dinner with Ramona would “get a reaction out of her,” but as “Bethenny [Frankel] has said before, ‘The heart wants what the hearts wants,’ and I want John, so guess what folks—I get to have John. He makes me happy, simple as that.” But it’s not all praise for Bethenny as Dorinda snipes, “Oh! That therapy scene with Bethenny…how exhausting, right? I feel like we’ve been living that confrontation with her stepfather for the past month. I mean, therapy can be exhausting, sure, but enough already! That damn can of worms just needs to be avoided at this point.” Although she calls Bethenny “brave” for exposing her vulnerability in front of the cameras, Dorinda admits, “It’s made me tense watching it all unfold, and I so wanted to just make it go away.”
I don’t know who is writing Sonja Morgan’s Bravo blogs, but they need to cool it on the “vitamins” mixed with Red Bull (allegedly) and limit their word count to – oh, I don’t know – under 10,000. In this week’s War and Peace length narrative, Sonja bemoans the Real Housewives of New York ladies’ lack of support regarding her Latino Show Magazine party, an event which launched one single dress…and a thousand comments. But before we go there, let’s start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start! (Thank you, Julie Andrews.)
Sonja begins by questioning the emerging friendships on this season’s RHONY. “I must say that the relationships we saw in this episode seemed very forced! I feel like the girls are trying out some new friendships this season, and I don’t know that they are going to work out,” she snarks. “Just look at Ramona [Singer] and Luann [de Lesseps]! They tried to establish a friendship this year, and it completely blew up tonight (and at the fabulous Pettrosian of all places). But I must say that Ramona and Dorinda [Medley’s] new friendship does seem to be genuine.” Although Sonja supports Dorinda’s encouragement of Ramona getting back into the dating scene, she believes Mario does really want a second chance. “I am also not surprised that Mario wants to get back together with Ramona. Who wouldn’t want to stay with Ramona? She’s a fox, fun, and keeps you on your toes (even if an apology comes soon thereafter)! Ramona is going to have a rough road ahead deciding where she would like her relationship with Mario to go,” she comments. Because Sonja needs to make Ramona’s divorce situation all about HERSELF, she continues by admitting, ” I do wish that Ramona felt comfortable sharing these moments with me, but I need to respect her decisions during this difficult time. Like Bethenny [Frankel]says, sometimes its easier to open up to someone you hardly know. As is the case when Bethenny herself lets her hair down, and the tears flow with Carole [Radziwill], who doesn’t even have children.”
Luann de Lesseps doesn’t hold back in her latest Bravo blog. This week the Real Housewives of New York star lays it all out there, including her real feelings about Ramona Singer’sfuture (or lack thereof) with Mario, Carole Radziwill’s cold behavior toward Bethenny Frankelduring her (3rd? 5th? 100th?) crying scene, and why Ramona cannot be trusted. She begins by commenting on Ramona’s belief that Mario may want to mend their marriage. “While I’m glad Mario and Avery are now on good terms, I’m skeptical of Mario’s intentions and hope that Ramona waits to see how this plays out before jumping back in. Time will tell,” warns the Countess.
Luann’s thoughts on Carole winning election to her building board are skeptical, but mainly supportive. She comments, “Carole as a politician…why not? She has to start somewhere (I guess), and her election to her building’s board could be the beginning of a new career? I was happy that she was chosen, and I liked her ‘strategy team,’ although it was a bit of overkill, don’t you think?” Yes, those homemade posters by Heather Thomson’s children were surely not Class-With-the-Countess-Approved! As for Carole not being a “hugger” when, in Luann’s opinion, Bethenny needed a hug most, she says that when Bethenny “went décor shopping with Carole at CB2 (fabulous place) and broke down sobbing in the middle of the store, it made me realize that she is so consumed with fear that she can’t see her future through her tears. I wonder why Carole couldn’t find it within her to give Bethenny a hug…even if she isn’t ‘a hugger.'” She adds that Bethenny “needs to take care of herself. When Mommy’s happy, everyone is happy,” and that “Bethenny has to begin looking ahead rather than back and enjoy the time she has with her friends and family.”
After the emotional hot-n-cold ride Bethenny Frankel’semotions took on last night’s Real Housewives of New York, she feels she has some ‘splainin to do. So, here it is, in the form of this week’s Bravo blog! Bethenny starts by explaining why she felt Carole Radziwill was the – er, appropriate? – audience she needed for an emotional meltdown over her custody and divorce troubles. “You know how sometimes you can confide in a stranger more easily than someone you’re close with? Well, there is a lot that people don’t know about my personal life, and let’s just say that emotions creep out in unexpected ways,” she says. “I have had a rough time, and I was particularly raw. I broke down in CB2, which I’ve renamed ‘Cry Baby 2.’ Carole was perfect in that situation. I am not a huge hugger, either, and I just needed to let it out.”
As for Heather Thomson’sattempts to plumb Bethenny’s emotional depths over 3-year old de-thawed cocktail wieners at Carole’s election party, Bethenny wants none of it. No thanks, mama. “Heather is very inquisitive and likes to get deep quickly,” says Bethenny. “She is just curious, concerned, and a little touchy feely at times. I believe it comes from a good place. I am just guarded and not always trusting. As Dorindasays, I’m a squirrel, so really fast moves make me run. Custody conversation is very personal, and I was just not there, nor will I probably ever be.” Does Heather not know you can’t “Holla!” at a squirrel?
Things begin with another birthday – this time the birthday belongs to Dorinda Medley, who is turning 50. She wants to celebrate by returning Ramona to a place of torment and doom: The BERKSHIRES. Ramona gets the sniffles and can’t breathe. She fans herself. Her thumbs twitch as she texts her friend with the private plane to be on retainer. Just kidding – Ramona actually has a cold, but that’s not gonna stop her from going on a date. Ramona’s tissues bring all the boys to the yard! And they’re like her germs are better than mine!
Hey Mama! Holla! Heather Thomson not only begins her Bravo blog with these dusty old Heatherisms this week; she spends a full paragraph defending them. That is, before she moves on to defending her good friend Carole Radziwill’srelationship with Adam, which has become a rather tiresome storyline on this season of Real Housewives of New York. Heather begins, “Holla! I have nicknames for everyone. It’s really just a term of endearment, and a way I like to connect with people. ‘Holla’ and ‘mama’ are part of my heritage. I’ve been using those terms for as long as I can remember,” she explains. As long as she can remember? Yes, indeed. 1993 called and wants its catchphrase back. Heather goes on to dive deeper into the riveting origins of “Holla.” “Holla actually came about on the show when a producer asked me for a ‘Heatherism’ to add to the end of my tagline. ‘Holla!’ naturally flowed out of me as a positive shout-out, and it stuck. I’ve never tried to be anything or anyone I’m not. I’m all about being positive and trying to build people up, rather than tear them down, and that’s what holla represents for me.”
Now that her Girl Scouts of America speech about the deep cultural and personal relevance of “Holla” is over, we can move on to an equally interesting topic: Carole’s love life! Heather says, “I’m happy for Carole. She’s excited about someone, and it’s because of chemistry! You can’t hide a chemistry that magnetic. It’s exciting to see your friends find happiness. I believeLuann [de Lesseps], at least the one I thought I knew, meant it when she said she was happy for Carole, too. Unfortunately, she’s changed her tune on that.”