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Peter Madrigal

kristen doute cannot let go of tom sandoval

Last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules reminded me of two classic movies that perfectly apply: Fatal Attraction and Dazed and Confused. 

Let’s start by examining the ulterior motives of Stassi “Free Ride” Schroeder. Stassi, quit SUR, moved away, started dressing the Jr. League vice president, and thinks that makes her a grownup. Sadly, she’s still loitering outside the gates of SUR, leaning against the bar with a pinot grigio, sighing, “This is what I love about these SUR bitches, I get more mature, but they just stay the same.” You know who I’m referencing!

Stassi needs a job - because she is bored of free riding her friends TV show, spending daddy’s money, and wearing that real live adult facade. Maturity is hard – especially when you really, really, really yearn to be back at SUR, causing drama, and bitchwhipping these pathetic losers into shape like Red Heather (since we’re going with old movie references! There’s pate, and croquet! And Kristen Doute is totally going to bomb the bleachers Ariana’s bar).

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jax taylor gets a nose job

Last night on Vanderpump Rules it was the the Grownups VS. Real Grownups. The latter, a cult led by Stassi Schroeder. Immediately upon entering your fashion IQ drops at least 20 points. On the other hand, the Grownups is led by Scheana Marie Almost Famous and you basically need to be brain-dead (or Jax Taylor) to gain entry at all. But they are friendship tattoos!

Straddling the middle is Tom Schwartz. He so badly wants to be a Grownup, but Katie Maloney has him trapped in an invisible net - no one believes him when he reports himself as missing and kidnapped to the police. 

Here’s what Grownups do: they have panic attacks at their bartending job and flee the scene, sobbing. Here’s what Real Grownups do: they sit in a  corner hate-watching a group of people and passive-aggressively snarking on them behind-their-backs, but never actually say anything to their faces. You know, kind of what I do while I watch this show! The grownup is real, the grownup struggle is realer. 

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lisa vanderpump is firing people at SUR

Oh Vanderpump Rules never fails to disappoint does it!? And last night Peter Madrigal was allll riled up,  which is HOTTT times a million. I digress. The important things were that in the battle of the girly-men, Tom Sandoval got his false eyelashes ripped off and his delicate constitution bruised, and James Kennedy got his size 23 skinny jeans protected by Kristen Doute, who was punching the beglitter out of Tom 1. Pent up rage, anyone? 

Tom Schwartz, well he tried in vain (“vain” being the operative word) to break things up, but OMG – his hair! His pearly, flawless skin! His modeling career.

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RHOA Phaedra Parks

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!

Above: Real Housewives of Atlanta star Phaedra Parks shared, “First selfie after lessons with Porsha Williams. #HappyFriday #TomFord #ChanelGirl”

Below you’ll find photos from Kandi Burruss, Kendra Wilkinson, LuAnn de Lesseps, Jacqueline Laurita, Lisa Rinna, Karen Gravano, and more. 

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vanderpump rules season 3 premiere recap selfie

Remember how last season on Vanderpump Rules everyone busted Kristen Doute‘s thongbutt for cheating on Tom 1? Well this season she’s accusing him of cheating on new girlfriend Ariana Madix. I dunno kids – it seems kinda transparent to me, like Kristen just wants Tom 1 all to herself and back in her thong-th-thong-thong-thong! (In case you’re wondering why I keep bringing up thongs, it’s cause Bravo gave us a lovely shot of Kristen’s thong butt).

This season everyone on VPR has undergone metamorphosis after the insane betrayals and they’ve grown. Except for Kristen. She’s stayed the same. Well, maybe she’s grown more crazy – we’ll wait on assessing that. 

Kristen is supposedly madly in love with 22-year-old Baby Einstein (Slowstein? He ain’t sharp) DJ James Kennedy, who is trying awfully hard to get some attention on this here TeeVee thingy. First he tried to be besties with Tom 1, but when that didn’t get his pale, pastiness on camera, he decided screwing the desperate and maligned Kristen would have to suffice. Other than famewhoring, James enjoys BeamerSelfies. We’ll get to that later. So anyway, everyone has learned. Everyone has grown. 

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Vanderpump Rules Cast Celebrate the New Season – Photos

The Vanderpump Rules cast gathered last night to celebrate the upcoming premiere of their third season.  Lisa Vanderpump and crew naturally gathered at the venue where all of the drama takes place: SUR. 

Pretty much the entire cast was in attendance last night: Jax Taylor, Peter Madrigal, Kristen Doute, Scheana Marie, Katie Maloney, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Ariana Madix, and of course Giggy.

The only cast member who appeared to be missing was Stassi Schroeder.  This only fans my flames of speculation that she’s pregnant and trying hard to keep it under wraps until her spinoff is announced.  You heard it here first.  

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

Vanderpump Rules is finally back for a third season on November 3rd! And I gotta admit – I’m PUMPED (pun intended!). Unsurprisingly main villainess Stassi Schroeder has not left the show and is back to cause mayhem with the SUR staff. 

Lisa Vanderpump will continue to wrangle the drama-laden SURvers as they simply cannot stop mixing business with pleasure! Tom Sandoval (Tom 1) has broken up with Kristen Doute, moved out, and is now happy with new love Ariana Madix, but Kristen continues to try and ruin Tom’s life by threatening to reveal secrets that could destroy his happiness. 

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Andy Cohen Kim Kardashian

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!

Above: Keeping Up with the Kardashians star Kim Kardashian and Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen shared, “The making of a butt selfie!”

Below you’ll find photos from NeNe Leakes, Maks Chmerkovskiy, Shannon Beador, Peter Madrigal, Courtney Stodden, Kenya Moore, and more.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE GALLERY!

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