Last night was the beginning of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. Lisa Vanderpump is dressed like a “school marm” but it’s really quite ridiculous and hideous. Lala Kent got her makeup done at the circus, from the elephants who can paint – it’s pink, sparkly and reminds me of Tammy Faye Baker.
BTW: When is Kristen Doute gonna admit to getting her boobs done? She’s got them out every 15 seconds just waiting for someone [ANDY COHEN] to notice and comment, but alas the satisfaction is not being given.
The major topics up for discussion are James Kennedy‘s drunken excesses and the mysteriously unexplained reasons Jax Taylor despises him. Kristen’s apology tour, and lastly Scheana Marie being the worst wife in the world. Apparently she’s just not educated on addiction – which is why she never bothered to you know CALL A THERAPIST or Google NA meetings!
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules reunion, part one, dedicated a fair amount of time to rehashing Scheana Marie and Mike Shay‘s troubled first year of marriage. While Shay battled a Vicodin addiction off camera, Scheana turned to her paid castmates friends for support. How Scheana spoke about sobriety (Don’t be a sober bore!) and her apparent non-support for Shay’s sober aspirations (Here, have a vodka-soaked tampon!) got her into a lot of hot water with the viewing public.
Now Scheana is backtracking – ScheanaStyle! Which means she feels sort of bad…but not really. (Wait – is it all Stassi Schroeder‘s fault!? Yeah, let’s blame her!) She reflects, “I don’t like to have regrets. I live and learn and I learned a lot this year watching the show back and seeing the negative feedback. I will say that I’m thankful for how hard this past year was because it humbled me and made me look at things from an outside perspective. A lot of things I said were taken out of context and that was extremely frustrating. I never meant to come off as unsupportive or uneducated.”
The THREE-part Vanderpump Rules reunion kicks off tonight. Bravo asked each cast member what was going through their minds as they took the stage.
Lisa Vanderpump admitted she’s a little worried about James Kennedy and Jax Taylor, adding, “I hope that they keep it civilized … There is one person in particular that is so volatile I just, you know, don’t want them getting out of their seats. That is a factor as well … You know it is going to kick off at some point.”
It’s safe to say that Monday’s episode was deliciously predictable, with Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute crashing Villa Rosa to attend Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s engagement party. Jax’s girlfriend Brittany Cartwright proved once again that she has more patience than the entire cast combined (times a million), and Scheana Shay and Adriana Madix are once again biffles…even if their reconciliation was a product of Scheana’s insecurities about being ousted by Stassi. All is right with the world.
When I found out that the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion was going to be stretched out over three episodes, I was like, Seriously? Nothing happened! But I honestly didn’t have that reaction when I read the “drama-filled three part reunion” press release for Vanderpump Rules. This season, which is on track to be the highest rated season, did not disappoint this hopelessly addicted fan.
About the ratings, Bravoshared, “On track to deliver its highest rated season ever among all demos, Vanderpump Rules season four is averaging 1.5 million P25-54, 1.4 million P18-49, and 2.2 million total viewers, up 17 percent, 8 percent and 13 percent respectively versus last season.” Look below for the schedule, as well as a sneak peek, for the Vanderpump Rules reunion.
Lala admits that she was “heavily intoxicated” at Tom and Katie‘s engagement party. About interrupting Kristen Doute‘s speech, she shares, “I have massive anxiety when people repeat themselves. I was ready to have her wrap it up.”
Scheana, who is insufferable this entire segment, says to Lala, “It was so rude and so disrespectful whether we were all thinking it or not. It wasn’t your day. It was not. It had nothing to do with you. You were barely invited.”
Pre-party Lala, who knows everyone hates her, is having massive anxiety about what to wear and how to act. Especially because James Kennedy, the littlest weasel at SUR, informed Lala that Kristen called her a “ratchet whorebag.” Hilariously Lala turns to Scheana Marie for advice on how not to look like a “whorebag” – Lala is OK with the ratchet part. Scheana, hilariously, advises her to dress as if she’s meeting someone’s mother – which means keep it classy. Scheana isn’t too devoted to Lala’s concerns however, because OF COURSE she has her own issues to worry about, like why Ariana Madix is keeping her distance!
On last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Tom Sandoval introduced us to a bass guitar bedecked with dildos, which made more sense than almost everything else happening with this group.
Katie Maloney has been waiting and hoping, begging and whining, pleading and crying to get engaged to Tom Schwartzsince the dawn of Twitter. Maybe even before in the prehistoric age of Facebook. It finally happened so OMG! WEDDING! is her entire life.
Katie bombards Lisa Vanderpump and begs to have her engagement party – a casual BBQ for 50 or so sane people plus one full-scale rampaging case of psychosis (Kristen Doute) and one bitch ghost with a superiority complex who is temporarily angelic in order to wheedle her way back in (Stassi Schroeder). After some hesitation, Lisa decides to let Katie and Tom have the party at Villa Rosa, BUT! Kristen and Stassi are not allowed to come! Katie agrees so fast heads spun exorcist style. Some re-friend she is.