After last night’s Real Housewives of New York, perhaps we all need a moment to reflect on the relationships between Sonja Morgan and…everybody else. Including an invisible castmate named “Earth.” In Bethenny Frankel’sBravo blog this week, she claims that Sonja’s fabulously out-of-orbit self is just fine the way she is and – even if her businesses are more “in her head” than “in a store” – well, that’s apparently A-okay too! She begins with, “Aaaah Sonja. The truth is I love her. There are times during this season that that will be difficult to believe, but I simply do. Some people are cunning and have a malicious or shifty or disingenuous side. Sonja has none of that. She is a good person. She is just often misguided and misdirected.” She adds, “Sonja allows herself to be messy; that is to be respected in its own way.” Agreed! (Well, to a point.)
Of her meeting with Sonja and her “team” of international temp agency props at Sonja’s “fashion presentation” Bethenny admits that the whole thing reeked of shifty and suspect behavior: “I think she front-loaded that staff for effect. I will bet everything…that not one of those people is on salary. I happen to have an international brand and barely have that many people with those fancy titles, so there is definitely smoke and mirrors there.” But Bethenny claims she doesn’t want to “give unsolicited advice” this season, so she walks “a slippery slope.” She says, “I’m damned if I do anything in the way of business advice. Whether it’s positive or negative advice, it will appear that I’m better than and an expert, and that’s simply not how I view myself.” Hmmm, not an expert she says? In the next breath, non-expert Bethenny adds, “I have a lot of experience: I’m in the trenches, and I keep learning and making mistakes every day. Sonja doesn’t have that experience, and, for her to succeed, she needs to get focused and start absorbing more information (that’s how I learned– mouth shut and ears open). Business is hard, and she needs to learn what it really takes to focus on one thing and see it to the finish line. ‘Accessible luxury’ is a start. And–no–she doesn’t owe me a car.” #holla!
The true story of Real Housewives Of New York is not what’s happening on the episode, but what’s happening on twitter while the episode is airing. Things have gone from A to F–ked with Luann de Lesseps and Carole Radziwill slamming each other something l0w-down dirty and arguing over the proclivities and scheduling conflicts of a thirty-something boy. They’re like two mommies in a custody dispute. Ladies – it’s embarrassing.
Basically Carole started dating Luann’s nieces ex-boyfriend, but didn’t tell Luann because she’s scared of what Lu will think. Even though Carole claims the niece and the fling broke up over a year ago. Interesting. Before all that cockamamie nonsense, we have to get to Sonja Morgan‘s cockamamie nonsense – and she doesn’t swallow unless its for a Black Card (or a pinot).
Calling out Heather Thomsonfor having double standards when it comes to supporting her friends’, eh, questionable choices in men, Sonja throws some shade her way: “I’m glad to see that Heathercan be supportive of someone, because she hasn’t been able to support me of recent. I’m surprised, though, that Heather was able to listen to that whole speel (sic) from Carole–doing drugs, drinking tequila, throwing up in a rickshaw, and hiding a relationship from Luann-–without making a single judgmental comment! Weren’t Heather and Carole just saying last week that I drink too much and am out of control?” She adds, “But hey, maybe Heather is finally learning to accept that some people are fun! Either that or Heather has different standards for Carole than she has for me. I’m starting to think that it is the latter and that Heather is just giving me a hard time to give me a hard time! Do you think there is an underlying factor causing this? Because we have always been cool with each other, not uncool.” Hey! No stealing the countess’s Best.Line.Ever! #becoolplagiarism
Someone at the Real Housewives Of New York emporium got a little too liberal with the Sex And The City DVDs this season. I’ve been missing my vintage Carrie Bradshaw as much as the next former 20-something girl of a certain millennium, but do we really need to re-live her life starring Carole Radziwill in My So-Called Reality Show? (Another gem of my generation).
While Carole is busy cosplaying Carrie, the other girls are busy being Housewives and starting high velocity fights over wrangled pretenses and loose indignations. Carole is riding bikes in heels around NYC, dating a boy who doesn’t wanna grow up, experimenting with drugs, getting munchies for KFC, losing her virginity <insert emoji here>, and rocking those Jordache jeans she saved all her babysitting money to buy. Life is good when mercury is in retrograde.
Lady Morgan opens with her reaction to the ladies’ commentary on her many “business” ventures whilst brunching at Bethenny Frankel’sHamptons home last episode. “Welcome back to the bitches who brunch!” says Sonja, “I’m disappointed to see that the girls are being vile and continuing to attack me and claim that I do not have legitimate business deals going on. Especially to Bethenny,who has not seen us frequently since she had little Bryn. Gawd forbid Bethenny believes this horse sh–. Luann [de Lesseps], Kristen [Taekman], Heather [Thomson], and Carole [Radiziwill]all claimed that I am not really a businesswoman, that all of my ideas are not coming to fruition, that I don’t work every day, and that I didn’t make the toaster oven.” She adds, “That should get a few laughs from those who know.” Huh? Sonja goes further down the rabbit hole of her argument, saying the girls should’t talk badly about her even if she IS deLUUUUUUSional! “But even if I was not successful and were delusional, as the girls say in Bethanny’s (sic) kitchen, what kind of friends badmouth another friend like that?”
In her latest Bravo blog, everyone’s favorite #BeCoolCountess dishes on dueling brunches, ladies’ night out at Beautique, her visit to Ramona’s apartment, and Bethenny Frankel‘s unwelcome run-in with Kelly Bensimon on this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York. Commenting first on Ramona Singer stealing a dress from Bethenny’s talk show back-in-the-day, Luann de Lesseps says, “Ramona does have sticky fingers when it comes to that, though. Looking back, if you remember a dressSonja (Morgan) was buying in Season 2 and how Ramona asked to “look at it” and ended up at the checkout line with it…She took it right out of her hands! Oh, Ramona…you really are a piece of work.”
As for Brunchgate, Luann maintains that one can never have too many brunch invitations, dahhhhling! “You know, I figured having two invitations to two brunches isn’t that bad of a problem, so if we went to both, we’d make everyone happy.” Lu loves Bethenny’s Hamptons home, herSkinnygirl-sponsored meal, and free giveaways!: “I really like Bethenny’s Hamptons house, and I love the red accents! Her brunch was a classic breakfast with, of course, great cocktails. B was great to entertain me and my guests with all of her SkinnyGirl flair. I thought it was really nice of Bethenny to give us some parting gifts. I took some energy bars but kept it simple and didn’t grab her appliances. Tacky much?” She’s talking to YOU, Radzi. “To each her own…” says the countess, adding that Bethenny also sent her a blender a few weeks later anyway. #wheresthefreetoasters?
Also, let’s get one thing clear – Bethenny didn’t want to host brunch to show off her Hamptons home (and really how could she being homeless and all) she wanted to show off her Skinnygirl collection.
It all begins at Luann de Lesseps‘ cozy Hamptons abode, the girls are clustered around the living room, drinking coffee and gossiping as real girlfriends do, also leisurely braiding Carole Cradziwill‘s toe hair (EWWW – isn’t that what Cindy Barshop is for – don’t you get the Real Housewives Federation Association discount on all waxations from here until the end of time – if you can manage to find your way out to Quogue.).