Why in the name of everything that is good would a poor girl subject herself to dating Jax Taylor? The Vanderpump Rules star has proven time and time again to be the worst friend and boyfriend on the planet, yet girls still flock to him. What about the term "sex addict" makes him attractive?
Oh, he's on television! That's right! I guess there are some ladies that wouldn't mind hitching their cart to his fleeting fifteen minutes of fame. I just hope they get tested regularly and don't mind the Stassitattoo on his bicep! Well, one such girl doesn't mind a bit. After dating Jax for a month (it's the real deal, y'all!), Carmen Dickman is already giving "exclusive interviews." Of course she is!
Something curious has happened to Tom 1 over the course of Vanderpump Rules. He's grown from a boy to a man. He has freed himself from the shackles of Kristen Doute's psychotic tyranny and Stassi Schroeder's emotional manipulations and terrible party planning. He has flourished from a sad, aimless emotional wrecking ball to a proud manish metrosexual.
Last night Tom 1 let his anger roar as he took down Stassi, put Kristen in her place, and practically ground Jax Taylor's aging meathead under his boot heel. And never did a hair bend out of shape! Is Ariana Madix responsible for this surge in testosterone – as if releasing himself from Kristen has allowed Tom 1's poor shriveled manliness to blossom Phoenix-style.
Whatever – I was impressed. Take no prisoners Tom. Actually, no, do take Jax prisoner and lock him away from the rest of us because boy deserves to do hard time not these puny 'you can keep your designer sweater' jail stints!
Stassi explains her plans for any possible return if there is a season 3 of the show, "I've moved to New York. I've been blogging for other sites and now I've been developing my own. I'm really excited about that. I'm working with different accessory and jewelry brands with styling. And that's where I'm at. I'm not gonna go waitress again. I'm kind of just doing me and doing what makes me happy. "
When she doesn't really answer about returning to the show, Andy says, "I hope we can figure out a way to see you back there somehow".
After leaving her job as a cocktail slinging princess and relocating to NYC and landing a new man, rumor has it Stassi is angling to get a spinoff about trying to make it in fashion. In case you forgot, Stassi fancies herself a fashion writer – or she wants to be.
In her new blogStassi talks her decision to leave LA and SUR behind. "It was just my time to go," Stassi confirms. "Yes, I did disappear for a while, but I was professional and got all my shifts taken care of — and then went in to the office and turned in my uniforms to say I wouldn't be returning."
So, were y'all glued to the first half of the Vanderpump Rulesreunion like I was on Monday? Team U.S.A. who? Kidding!(?) I mean, season one, meh, season two, I'm an addict! Here are some things that I now know to be true (besides the obvious "Kristen Doute is totally insane" diatribe): Katie Maloney looks much better as a brunette (welcome back!), she's not featured enough on the show, and she is incredibly well-spoken. I'd also add that's she's a horrible drunk, but she addresses that ever so astutely in her Bravo blog this week. It's kind of long, so I left out her very level and kind words for Scheana Marie'shosting career and her opinions on Jax Taylor's sex addiction. However, I made sure to touch on her thoughts on her friendship with Stassi Schroeder and Kristen and Tom Sandoval's crazy dysfunctional relationship, . Seriously, am I the only one who is surprised by the level of maturity in Katie's blog?
She begins, "After everything that's happened, I don't think the vibe is any better at SUR. It's just different. Obviously with all the time that has past its allowed the dust to settle and lift the tension from the air. Whether or not Stassi was still working at SUR or not, it would still be the same. The dynamic has shifted big time and relationships have changed all for the better. I am thankful that all of us are able to be cordial and still work along side one another."
“She is crazy… I don’t know what’s up her a–,” Scheanatold Radar Online. As for the accusation that she flirted with JR, Scheana states Brandi was too drunk to know who JR even was! “Brandi was really drunk that night, so maybe she thought something happened that really didn’t. I had a two second encounter with her date…. Trust me, if I was flirting with her date the entire night, the cameras would have caught it and Bravo would have aired it.” I have to agree with Scheana there!
Last night's Vanderpump Rules reunion only "surved" to prove that Kristen Doute is totally, certifiable, crazypants! Like, absolutely so! I believe Ariana Madix described it as "borderline personality disorder," and while Ariana is by no means a doctor (oh God no!) working at SUR she's certainly come into contact with her fair share of insanity.
So, Tom 1 is still not over the total sham that was his five-year flirtation with the devil because one never gets over something like that – luckily Ariana is helping him cope, Kristen needs help, Stassi Schroeder quit SUR without notice and likely quit the show, Jax Taylor admits to hooking up with married women and pretends he's over Stassi. Katie Maloney was predictable basically not there except to be Stassi's Anonymous Sycophant No 1, Peter Madrigal was unfortunately not there (WAAAH!), and Scheana Marie has turned into a Kardashian. Lisa Vanderpump was annoyed with all of them.
K – see you next season!
Kidding, Kidding… I've got to recap this joint! Andy Cohen was also present and he was so giddy he needed an adult diaper because he was peeing himself with glee. It was… disturbing.