Lipsa may have been having a “mad moment” when she told Eden all about Kim Richards‘ very non-sober life (allegedly!), but Eden remembered every single word, which propelled her annoying badgering of the Twisted Sisters Richards about needing her help. Eden, tired of being hung out to dry in the cold whipping winds of Housewives, came to pay her respect to the queen, Lisa Vanderpump, beseeching her to advocate on her behalf.
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After Lisa warned Eden to back off Kyle Richards, Eden realized she was in the danger zone. So she traveled to Vila Rosa, put on her best ‘good girl’ costume, and informed LVP that she was not being a meddler without just cause – she was merely reacting to Lipsa’s claims that an enabling Kyle had allowed a mostly sober Kim to fall into a near death situation. I mean, given that Kingsley is around, I’m not debating that people’s lives are possibly on the line, but…
Then, when Eden tried to sit down with Kim and Kyle, she expected Lipsa’s support, but Lipsa was off in Xanax smoothie-land obsessing over Harry Hamlin‘s meat. Needless to say, Eden’s love jar feels empty.
It now makes perfect sense to LVP why Eden was so invested in saving Kim, and she lets Eden know that she will absolutely be relaying this information to Kyle and absolutely be sharing from whom it came. LVP even jokes that Lipsa will probably accuse her of telling her to say it to Eden.
Unfortunately, all the ladies will soon be forced into a five-star Mexican hacienda from hell, in which they’ll have all the time in the world to air their grievances, which will hopefully sink to the bottom of the ocean. Let’s just hope no Housewives sink in the process! Or fall of a jet ski!
Yes, The Agency also has an office in Mexico, so Kyle is providing the ladies yet another sample of the Maurcio goods with a stay in a fabulous beach-front house. All the more kaftans to display, darling! Oh, but it is so hard to be Kyle! She’s so Busy Being Kyle! And she has to leave her kids so often because she’s Busy Being Kyle! And Splits Richards is split in so many directions. And why did she cut her hair so now her ponytail helicopter isn’t able to transport her here and there and everywhere? But mostly Busy Being Kyle is sad to be away from Busy Being MoMoneyRicio. We should all take pity on Kyle. She needs kaftans to keep her warm at night while she’s all alone in her palatial homes, running her empire(s).
Unbeknownst that Eden is presently spilling her smoothie-stuffed sober guts at Villa Rosa, Lipsa visits Kyle at KyleByKaftansForeverAndEverAndEVerToo to buy a leopard print something. It’s the day after the Gatsby party and Kyle is annoyed by Eden constantly confronting her with awkward heart-to-hearts. She asks Lipsa what the deal is since she’s friends with Eden. Lipsa claims she has no idea what premeditated Eden’s concerns, and posits that Eden is projecting her history with her sister onto Kim and Kyle. Is Lipsa doing the same thing? Did her sister have an attack dog and a stolen house?
Lipsa told Eden she doesn’t want to discuss the Richards sisters anymore and she warned her not to get involved. But, she offered this warning while wearing a costume, and after she’d told Eden that Kim was “near death.” Maybe Lipsa misspoke and meant to say KimKillah Rambles Richards is DEADLY?
Honestly, though, with all the talking in circles Lipsa’s lips do, I think we ought to christen her Rambles. If only because that is my subtle way of evoking the Bravo gods to please stop trying to make Kim Richards happen. I do not want more KimKillah in my life; I do not want more KimKillah in my RHOBH.
Before joining the group in Mexico, Lipsa and Eileen Davidson have other agendas. Lipsa is headed to New York Fashion Week where Delilah is walking in the Tommy Hilfiger show alongside the exalted Gigi Hadid. GASP. Delilah warns Lipsa not to start drama with Yolanda and ruin her special moment. Lipsa is shocked at this suggestion – like she would ever do a thing like that?! Like she didn’t tell Delilah’s modeling agents about her birth canal or anything! Lipsa’s daughters sigh that their mom is more drama than twitter – or teenage girls!
In NYC, Lipsa meets Camille Grammer for lunch. Camille’s daughter Mason is also walking in Fashion Week. In the middle of Camille relaying how strained things are with Kelsey, even though she’s completely over their divorce mess, Lipsa interrupts to compare it to her situation with Kim and Kyle. Like, Lipsa and Kim, like, sooooo hate each other, Lipsa is, like, soooooo over it and just wants to be friends, but Kim won’t relent. So now it is Saintly Lipsa being the bigger lips, letting go and accepting what she cannot change. OK, Lipsa, put down Zen And The Art Of Housewives Repair and pay Eileen’s shrink a visit! Equating your drama with two frienemies to Camille’s ex-husband refusing to co-parent with her? Okay, yeah, you’re not obsessed!
Yes, Eileen visits an actual counselor, not a friend she duped into having lunch under the pretense of a nice time. Eileen’s counselor tells her it’s okay to be sad and live her sadness and embrace her sadness.
But how could anyone be sad in a fabulous Mexican resort!? [Insert Lisa Rinna‘s lips to find your answer!]
It is Dorit Kemsley‘s first Housewives trip. She’s nervous since she’s already been on sketchy ground with several of the ladies and Erika Girardi will be wearing a bikini and we know how Peek-K can’t keep his eyes to himself!
But the trip starts out lovely. Erika and Kyle have a sweet bonding moment about how stultifying it is to live as the wives of moguls and the necessity of a girl taking her love where she can whether it be an email, a post-it, fancy vacation homes, or diamonds.
Then the ladies hit the jet skis – except for LVP, who has no interest in doddering around in the water with Kyle while trying to stop her eyelashes from flying off. Erika has no such concerns as she whips around in a Redneck Water Taxi, faster, faster, faster until she tumbles right off. Kyle immediately has visions of Erika being eaten by sharks, so she cruises slowly, safely towards the accident scene to see if Erika is okay. By the time she gets there, Erika is back on the jet ski and zooming around. Oh, Kyle.
While everyone prepares for dinner of a fresh tuna caught by Mauricio, Kyle and LVP take a little constitutional through the jungle. And they learn all about where the jaguars lay in wait. When Kyle hears what Lipsa has been telling Eden, her mouth drops and she is furious.
Over dinner, Kyle cannot help but repeating the story to the other ladies. Erika doesn’t want to believe her friend Lipsa would say such things about Kim even though Lipsa did the same thing to Erika’s bestie Yo-Yo last season. But that was apparently different because LVP made her do it! [eye roll]
Dorit has no such qualms. Not only could she see Lipsa making such comments, she had her own interesting conversation with Eden, who was unduly riled up about Kim, which confused Dorit. And, lastly, when they all made smoothies, Lipsa confessed to tossing Xanax in hers and then whipped out a huge old bag of pills!
When Dorit reveals what she knows about how Eden also takes anxiety meds, Kyle is even more shocked given that Eden is supposed to be sober.
None of this is sitting too well with Erika, who doesn’t like all the scheming and investigating and speculating going on. She prefers to do her fishing via the straight method – with a pole, a line, and some bait, while wearing a bikini and a big smile. Erika is also not too keen on catching her friends in a big old net, and decides she needs to know more before making a judgement against Lipsa.
Lipsa arrives the next morning, completely unaware of what unfolded the previous night. Kyle is so mad she can’t even look at her so-called friend. She’s not sure what to do or say or how to confront this latest betrayal, so she just emotionally eats mangos instead. Hey girl, I don’t blame you!
Look – I would have no issues with Lipsa calling out Kim’s sobriety if Kim were on this show, but she’s not. It seems to me like this ‘story’ was introduced to give Kim an occupation of sorts. I’m against that. Why are we back here again? Do these ladies really have nothing better going on in their lives? This story line doesn’t feel organic or authentic, and I’m not impressed.
TELL US – SHOULD KYLE CONFRONT LISA RINNA? SHOULD LVP STAY OUT OF THINGS OR IS SHE JUST BEING A GOOD FRIEND?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]