Real Housewives of Miami Larsa Pippen

Real Housewives Of Miami Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Larsa Pippen Spills All Of The Tea And Four Other Bombshells

Real Housewives of Miami Season 5 continues to be a must-watch TV week after week. I love each of the Mojito-holding ladies for different reasons, even when things get messy amongst them. The season is great not only because of the chaos surrounding Lisa Hochstein’s crumbling marriage, but because each lady brings their own specific je ne sais quoi to the series.

As the RHOM ladies finished up their rollercoaster ride of a trip to the Florida Keys, Lisa found herself coming face to face with Lenny Hochstein and his new girlfriend. Plus, Larsa was feeling particularly messy and ready to drop a few bombs about her so-called friends. Here are five of the main takeaways from the most recent RHOM episode “Star and Cigars.”

Lisa And Lenny Face Off

Lisa may have left the girls trip early, but she didn’t encounter peace upon returning to Miami. Upon returning home, she realized that Lenny and his new “girlfriend” had a date night in the house while she was away, as expected. It was the reality check she apparently needed. Like, she had to audacity to ask the ladies to confirm whether or not Lenny was having sex with the new woman in his life. All of the ladies were shocked Lisa even had to question it.

Lisa even met up with Lenny’s mom to discuss her soon-to-be ex-husband’s midlife crisis. She explained a sticky situation that occurred when Larsa Pippen took Lisa out to a club and they ran into Lenny and his boo. Lisa apparently said some choice words to Lenny’s new flame, which included “evil” and “homewrecker.” In response, the woman apparently just pulled a Diana Jenkins and licked her lips. Lisa, of course, lost it. She finally realized that it wasn’t just an emotional affair — Lenny is bad news and even his mama knows it. While he’s out dropping $100,000 on a watch for his new girlfriend, Lisa needs to, as Larsa put it, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Even better, in the words of Julia Lemigova, “shove it up his a**.” Thank you, next.

Guerdy Gets Lost In Translation

Guerdy Abraira had a lot to say during the latest RHOM episode, but most of it made little to no sense at all. While Julia, Adriana De Moura, and Alexia Echevarria continued to argue on the sprinter van, Guerdy inserted herself smack in the middle of it all. Guerdy tried to express her feelings about being dismissed in the group, but it was such a random outburst that no one really absorbed what she was thinking.

Alexia and co. also attributed Guerdy’s ever-changing facial expressions to their miscommunications with her. Marysol Patton compared Guerdy’s communication style to a Rubik’s cube, as her potentially judgy facial expressions rub everyone the wrong way. Guerdy doesn’t seem to have many allies outside of Adriana. I want to like Guerdy, but she needs to work on how she expresses herself so we aren’t distracted by the theatrics of it all. Say what you mean and move on to the next.

Another Real Housewives Episode, Another Spiritual Journey

The RHOM cast couldn’t leave a girls’ weekend without a spiritual healing journey. It’s like a right of passage on Real Housewives these days and honestly, I’m over it. The ladies had a shaman that Larsa thought was the reincarnation of Baby Jesus. She literally expected him to walk on water at one point. The guy seemed nice enough, but we’ve seen this scene replayed time and time again on Bravo. It’s not fun to watch a group of women have emotional breakthroughs and sob about everything that is wrong with their lives. It’s not that we don’t care — it’s just way less organic when a spiritual healer or a sound bath is involved in expressing those emotions. That’s MY OPINION and I’m sticking to it.

RELATED: Lisa Hochstein Says She Could “Never” Go Back To Lenny Hochstein; Says “He’s Done So Many Horrible Things”

Adriana Deserves Better

Adriana is just a shining star on Miami. She’s unapologetically herself and it comes through so genuinely on TV. It’s why this episode was a little hard to watch for those of us who stan the superstar. Firstly, she dealt with Alexia putting her on blast for dating a married guy. Adriana even called the guy during the trip to confirm that he is divorced from his wife. However, Alexia decided to pull up the public marriage records during a formal dinner and basically humiliate Adriana at the table. It makes sense that Alexia would want to look out for Adriana, who knows firsthand what it’s like to be cheated on, but her delivery just sucks. Even when she and Marysol did a confessional together, it just seemed like a catty gossip session rather than two people who are actually concerned for their friend.

Adriana also spends the majority of the episode preparing to shoot a music video for her new song. Alexa, play “Feel The Rush” please. Adriana invited all of the ladies to a rehearsal so they could make cameos, and only Kiki Barth showed up. To be fair, Larsa kept it pretty clear that she had no expectations to go to the rehearsal. But Adriana still felt like no one was respecting her “dream” of making a music video. Sure, it was corny, but it does make me sad that the other ladies won’t show up for her.

Larsa Spills All Of The Tea

Larsa had her shady boots on during this episode and spilled all of the tea about her friend group. She went to lunch with Marysol and Alexia instead of the music video rehearsal to gush all about what went down between Lenny and Lisa at the club. “It got ugly,” she said bluntly. The three ladies began to wonder if Lenny was being so brazen about his new girlfriend because Lisa hasn’t accepted his attempts to break up for a while now. He could potentially be throwing his new fling in Lisa’s face so she gets that it’s over for good. It’s not right, but it could be true.

Larsa dropped one more bomb before the end of the episode that no one saw coming. Apparently, a friend of Larsa’s saw Julia making out with a guy at the Surf Club. Excuse me? Are they sure she wasn’t making out with a goat? Regardless of what’s true, these rumors are only going to further damage Julia and Martina Navratilova’s fragile marriage.


[Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia/Peacock]