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Beau Clark

Stassi Schroeder Vanderpump Rules

Stassi Schroeder has been living her best life lately. Beau Clark, her sweet and funny boyfriend, popped the question in July of 2019. Oh, and he slipped that ring on Stassi’s finger in the most romantic of places–a cemetery. Well, that is pretty romantic to Stassi.

The couple is marrying in October in Rome, Italy. Stassi and Beau are so in synch that they even agreed to sign a prenup. And Stassi is part of a pregnancy pact with Vanderpump Rules besties Katie Maloney, Brittany Cartwright, and Lala Kent. Can you imagine how dramatic it would be with this squad all rocking baby bumps at the same time?

Lala Kent Dishes On Pregnancy Pact With Brittany Cartwright, Katie Maloney & Stassi Schroeder

Isn’t it crazy how many of the Vanderpump Rules couples are either married or engaged? Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz are hitched. Last summer, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright tied the knot, and their nuptials will play out on this season of Pump Rules. I am exhausted from all the showers/bachelorettes/ and other parties these couples have before their weddings.

In October, Stassi Schroeder will marry Beau Clark in Italy. And Lala Kent is slated to wed Randall Emmett in April. Randall even made his first appearance on the reality show, proving that he does exist. In a shocking turn of events, their wedding will not be filmed for Vanderpump Rules. I thought it was mandatory for all weddings to be filmed. Just saying.

Teddi Mellencamp Edwin Arroyave new baby

Yesterday, Teddi Mellencamp started her day as she usually does: documenting her morning workout on Instagram. Throughout the day, she posted weight loss progress photos from her clients. She continued to post selfie videos for the remainder of the day. The usual stuff, you know? Well, except for the end the day. That was a little different than her usual routine.

Teddi gave birth to her third child, with husband Edwin Arroyave by her side. Yes, she actually got in a workout session and documented her day, even giving a post-epidural update. Talk about some, ummm, “unique” content. But then again, this is 2020. I’m sure she’s not the only documenting her birth on social media. At least she didn’t have a glam squad on hand, which is a #TotalHousewifeMove

Jax Taylor Vanderpump Rules

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was a doozy. I thought last week was bad, but well, I should’ve known better.

Why on earth does Jax Taylor think it’s a punishment to be kicked out of his trashy-ass wedding? He’s horrific so not being associated with that wad of human filth – a literal hairball pulled out of a 50 year old drain who isn’t even inviting his OWN MOTHER to his wedding – is the best thing that could possibly happen to a decent human being like Tom Sandoval.

Also Ariana Madix is the only person on Vanderpump Rules who truly understands with a toxic cesspool it is. It is the drain! The drain where a thousand strands of hair that wouldn’t pass a drug test and the dead skin of dead souls collects into an impenetrable mass that just traps a person there. Ariana is realizing that she’ll barely escape alive. That she is one scowl and a Hot Cheeto and tequila sundae away from turning into Katie Maloney, marrying a man she detests to prolong the only thing that pays her enough to buy a track home in the way-out Valley.

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor

I cannot wait for Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s weddding to be shown on Vanderpump Rules, not because I’m “so excited” about it. In all honesty, I just want this storyline to end. There have been way too many wedding-related episodes for my liking.

On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules episode, Jax confronts Tom Sandoval about the pastor drama and kicks Tom out of his wedding party. Meanwhile, Brittany wonders if she should keep Ariana Madix in the wedding as a bridesmaid. These people need to stop making such a big deal over their wedding and holding it over people’s heads.

Stassi Schroeder & Beau Clark

Doubters cringed when they found out that Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright planned to get married without a prenup. That’s a pretty risky endeavor given the overall faith in that relationship (pun intended). Vanderpump Rules fans also cringed when Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney argued about a prenup before their 2016 wedding, which apparently wasn’t even legal. Even so, I could never forget their arguments over protecting their paltry assets. Hopefully, their bank accounts have beefed up since those embarrassing arguments. I mean, Schwartz does own .0000000000000001% of Tom Tom, or something like that. And Katie, well….. she’s a cast member on this show still and that brings in some checks.

However, it seems like Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have zero issues when it comes to signing a prenup. In fact, Stassi thinks it’s romantic. Yes, really.

Beau Clark & Stassi Schroeder

As far as relationships go, Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder seems to have gotten it right with fiancé Beau Clark. It’s been refreshing to see her in a positive relationship for once. Unlike with past flames Jax Taylor and Patrick Meagher, where Jax shockingly cheated on Stassi, and Patrick talked down to her at every turn. 

Similarly to Brittany Cartwright, Beau has fit right in with the Pump Rules crew. Except for a minor dust up this season when he called out Tom Sandoval for rage texting Stassi about having her book party at TomTom. So, it comes a bit of a surprise to hear that Beau might not be all sunshine and rainbows towards Stassi.

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor Brittany Cartwright

To quote the immortal N’Sync, whose reputation is sullied by an unfortunate association with Vanderpump Rules, “I know that I can’t take no more, It ain’t no lie, I want to see you out that door, Baby bye bye bye.” And yes, I have had enough!

More than enough of Bravo claiming to support human rights and equality, yet, at every turn employing people who are misogynistic, racist, bigoted, and homophobic. I’ve certainly had enough of Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright. I’ve never cared about their love. Which seemed about as deep and stable as a damp cardboard box that Amazon left on your porch while you were crashing at your Tinder hookup’s place (basically Scheana Marie‘s version of marriage).

I’ve never had any interest in their greasy, fishy proposal. Or their Pinterest FAILED IT wedding planning. I can’t with Brittany’s increasingly amped up southern drawl and raspy cackle, or the way she douses herself in tequila like it really can kill off STDs (or kill off the lurking knowledge that her marriage to Jax is fake, and that he will always and forever cheat).