At the beginning of this season of the Real Housewives of Orange County, I thought Braunwyn Windham-Burke was going to be an interesting, but sedate addition to the show. She was in a long-time marriage to hubby Sean Burke, had seven children and seemed to be relatively normal. Boy, was I wrong! As we have gotten to know Braunwyn, we have come to find she is not the quiet soccer mom she first appeared to be. In fact, Tamra Judge might finally have a run for her money for the Orange County Exhibitionist Trophy!
Our first clue to Braunwyn not being what she seemed was her odd relationship with her rather unusual mother, Dr. Deb. A second clue was her hot tub escapade with Tamra in Arizona. A third indicator to Braunwyn’s freakiness came when she dressed in black lingerie for family photos–you know, like all our moms did! The final evidence came when Braunwyn engaged in a public, on-camera make out session with fellow married attention seeker Tamra. So, what is behind the make out session and what do the two RHOC cast members really think about each other?
On Real Housewives of Orange County this season, there has been a lot of drama swirling around attorney Emily Simpson, and her
little bitch husband, Shane Simpson. Shane stayed at a hotel to study for the California Bar exam and had no contact with his wife and children. And Shane, and his sarcasm, failed the exam.
Emily surprised her husband with a trip to Las Vegas for their anniversary, where she would perform a sexy dance on-stage. He declined the invitation. Emily went anyway with Kelly Dodd, Braunwyn Windham-Burke, and Shane’s parents. I think she rocked it. I admire her confidence! The dismissive way that Shane treats Emily is apparent to everyone– but Emily.
Aaaaahhh… Real Housewives Of Orange County, trying so hard to make your fetch happen. Especially Braunwyn Windham-Burke. It’s like someone at Bravo told her she had to save this show from itself, which would explain the one-wing short of a hooker angel costume she wore to her TEENAGED DAUGHTER’s Fashion Show.
The saddest thing about Braunwyn is that she has all this baggage from a childhood spent with a self-absorbed attention-seeking mother yet she’s replicating the exact same dynamic with her daughter, Rowan. Instead of 7 zany careers, Braunwyn has 7 kids. Instead of painting your entire body tye-dye and calling it the kiss of the goddess, Braunwyn is kissing other women and braying about sex constantly. Yes, Brown Wind, people are finally looking at you, but they’re looking at you the same way they look at your mother: with pity.
Tamra Judge does three things on Real Housewives of Orange County: 1) take her top off, 2) stir the pot, and 3) make out with women for attention. Last week’s episode was one for the books. For once there was a lot going on in the O.C. I felt genuinely exhausted after watching the women fall off their chairs drunk, dance on the bar, and screech at each other. Among all the chaos, Tamra and Brown-Wind Braunwyn Windham-Burke made out lying down in a bar booth. It was A LOT.
Needless to say, Shannon Beador had a successful 55th birthday party and awkward make-out session. The only person who didn’t appreciate what was going down was Vicki Gunvalson. I do tend to agree with the O.G. of the O.C. that there has recently been an “overload” of “raunchy talk and behavior”. But these women are working for their lives right now! RHOC has been a bore for seasons, and it’s easy to see that these women are working desperately for a comeback. I’m here for it, but could do without Tamra’s attention-seeking behavior.
Watching the Real Housewives of Orange County this week made me a little nostalgic for Housewives days gone by. You remember–when the show was focused on women who lived in beautiful homes, drove fancy cars, took dream trips and shopped for high end clothing and jewelry. Sure, some of it was all smoke and mirrors and a few of the ladies were one credit card transaction ahead of financial disaster, but the show usually delivered as promised.
Somehow, in the intervening years, everything changed. Fights became routine. Screaming came to be the preferred method of communication. Damaging gossip had the potential to ruin lives. Some cast members like Heather Dubrow managed to mostly stay above the fray, but many ladies were only too happy to wallow in the mud. Which leads us to this week’s episode. Married Housewives Tamra Judge and Braunwyn Windham-Burke in a disturbing public make out session. Usually prudish Shannon Beador exchanging spit with a random stranger. How did this all come to be?
There’s been many a times I’ve suffered second-hand embarrassment while watching a Real Housewives show, but last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County was officially THE WORST. I was literally blowing a metaphorical whistle at the TV as I witnessed Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Tamra Judge‘s dry-humping. Too much tongue is often a problem on Bravo, but usually in a very different way.
Tamra has the brilliant idea to take a train down to Del Mar, fill plastic penises with vodka, and pass out train conductor whistles to celebrate Shannon Beador‘s 55th birthday party. Cause nothing says middle-age like a drunken orgy!
This trip has historical significance for several reasons: 1) Del Mar is Shannon’s old haunt, from back when she was “fun Shannon,” chugging Andre champagne and stalking surfer dudes; 2) It references the train rumor that so plagued Kelly Dodd‘s indefatigable reputation; 3) Meghan King Edmonds is attending for some unknown reason.
Remember when people used to have private disputes? Those days are long gone, we have a new way of feuding now! Thanks, Twitter! Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Judge could teach a master class in the art of being disrespectful. This could be the reason why she gets along with newly-demoted Vicki Gunvalson. These two can barely remain complimentary with each other, much less anyone else.
Now, what if you’re a business owner with a disparaging personality? People investing their time and money in operating a business want success. The same holds true for Tamra and husband, Eddie Judge with their gym. Many folks not satisfied with their weight will flock to the nearest fitness center to work on shedding pounds, and raising self-confidence. When one embarks on a journey to improvement, sensitivity is often required. It can be embarrassing to admit a problem, even if you want to correct it. This might be a lesson Tamra could use going forward, when people seek her “expert” advice for help. Just ask Emily Simpson.
Real Housewives of Orange County newbie Braunwyn-Windham Burke is full of surprises! Viewers learned that she has a strange and complicated relationship with her mother. Her mother, by the way, is a Cyndi Lauper clone from the mid 80’s.
This OC Housewife is a mom to seven kids, and is married to her college-sweetheart, Sean Burke. She has been nursing for 19 years, which just sounds unbelievable. Braunwyn whipped out a breast at dinner to show her RHOC co-stars that she is still producing milk. Classy.