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Love After Lockup

Love After Lockup Recap: She Has To Go

What can we say about a show that has it all, like Love After LockupI mean, we have Dr. Phil wisdom spouting forth from the mouth of Clint. We have video footage of Tracie in prison  shackles, happily showing off her new strain of Hepatitis B prison tattoo. We have Scott spending another $30k on his ex-con, then popping in some Party City vampire teeth to clean up his look. And everyone is suddenly pregnant. Basically, this is trash TV at its absolute finest. And if you aren’t watching this show yet, I have just one question: WHY NOT? Please, I beg you…start living your best life and tune in with us.

There is so much to unpack this week, I almost don’t know where to start. Okay, I do: It’s in Scott’s mouth hole, which I have crawled ALL UP INTO on freeze frame photos on my laptop to dissect exactly WTAF is going on in there. Yes, this is what I’m spending my time on after Friday night’s shocking dentures reveal. We need answers, people. You’re welcome. #Journalism

Love After Lockup Recap: Wife On The Run

If we thought Clint was going to come to his senses this week, then we – and the judicial systems of Texas and New Mexico – thought wrong. But, hey, we still have two more weeks of Love After Lockup to find out where Tracie is buying her mothaf*cking crack holing up, and just how much more dignity Clint is willing lose on national TV. So, like the cat posters in our high school guidance counselor’s office suggest: Hang in there!

While Clint is being counseled on the ways of the world by a man who he’s hired to track Tracie down, Caitlin tries to school Matt on how life works. It goes something like this: You grow up, you get a job, you pay for things. Matt has no idea how to accomplish one of these tasks, let alone all three.

Love After Lockup Recap: The $800K Hustle

Hear ye, hear ye! The honorable Lizzie – ex-felon, current grifter, and six-figure businesswoman extraordinaire – will be teaching us this week about how to make $800K without ever leaving your prison cell. Or putting on a pair of underwear. Truly, Love After Lockup is all about educating the masses, incarcerated or not. And I, for one, am thankful for the inside tips. 

Lizzie’s long-lost protege, Tracie, isn’t faring so well in her recent hustle, though. This week, we find out she’s in lockup again. But Clint, ever the very slow optimist, is all “MY GODDESS, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER!” as he sits around fretting about her whereabouts and wiping snot on his sleeve. The real victim of this clusterf**k is Mother Clint, who can’t throw a collar on her grown-ass son and keep him within electric fence ranges anymore. Instead, she tries to reason with him. Since this is Clint she’s dealing with, this task is basically Mission Freaking Impossible.

Weekly Reality TV Listings January 27- February 2

Is there such a thing as “too much” reality TV? We don’t think so. Even so, there are a lot of shows to keep track of! We are here to make your TV viewing a little bit easier. Check out our reality TV listings of shows to watch this week!

Love After Lockup Recap: She Said Yes?

You know it’s a good Love After Lockup episode when the one proposal that happened between an ex-felon and her victim boyfriend isn’t even the main storyline. Sure – this week, we saw Scott propose to Lizzie. But, in more important news: Michael and Megan finally meet up! And their first sexual encounter is just as crazy/gross/disturbing as we could have imagined. Speaking of crazy, Tracie is still on the loose with Clint’s money, rental car, and phone, y’all! Despite the recent Motherf**king CRACK, Mom! moment that stands between Clint and his “goddess,” our boy still holds out hope that she will return to him with minimal new STDs.

Before we dive back into Clint and Tracie’s dumpster fire, let’s catch up with Scott and Lizzie, who take us on a farm fresh field trip this week. Scott is hoping that Lizzie will agree to marry him, so he plans an extra-special proposal in the countryside, complete with a fresh pink shirt, slicked back hair, and both teeth scrubbed. #FairyTale

RHOA-Porsha-Williams

Is there such a thing as “too much” reality TV? We don’t think so. Even so, there are a lot of shows to keep track of! We are here to make your TV viewing a little bit easier. Check out our reality TV listings of shows to watch this week!

Love After Lockup Recap: Rings And Runaways

This week’s Love After Lockup was filled with engagement rings and cringeworthy public spectacles weddings, but not a happily ever after moment in sight. But there was crack! Yes, CRACK. (As in: is whack.) And I think I can speak for most of us when I say, Clint WTF are you doing, you fool? Take your Clint Bucks and run back home to Mama Clint before you are literally murdered in a hotel room!!! Sigh. Methinks Clint is not long for this world.

Before we spiral into the Clint and Tracie wormhole, let’s check in with our other couples, starting with Caitlin and Matt. Caitlin is growing restless at Mama Matt’s house, watching her fresh-outta-prison fiance laze around drinking beers and wacking weeds like he’s the Prodigal Prince.

We Are Looking For New Writers To Join Our Reality Tea Team

Do you keep up with the reality TV news on and off screen?  Are you looking for an outlet to share your opinions and discuss the shows you love (and love to  hate on)? As Aviva Drescher once said, “Use your vocabulary, writer girl”! There’s no better way to do that than by joining the Reality Tea team.

We are looking for some passionate reality TV fans who are interested in writing for our website! Dorinda Medley eloquently declared, “Say it, forget it. Write it, regret it.” However, we don’t live by that mantra. We are all about sharing our reality TV opinions along with the latest news. As Tamra Judge infamously yelled, “THAT’S MY OPINION” and we want to hear yours!

We are looking for fans with near-expert knowledge of the shows that we cover here on Reality Tea, including (but not limited to) Real Housewives, Vanderpump Rules, 90 Day Fiance, Below Deck, Love After Lockup, Southern Charm, Teen Mom, Ex on the Beach, Married at First Sight, Married to Medicine,  and Shahs of Sunset.

Along with a vast knowledge of reality shows and an interest in the crazy antics of their stars, we need people who are reliable and have great communication.

We Are Looking For New Writers To Join Our Reality Tea Team

Specifically, we are looking for writers who have weekday and daytime availability along with a quick turnaround time for breaking news. However, we will consider writers with other availabilities as well.

We are also open to candidates with varying levels of experience. First and foremost, we are looking for people who love reality television as much as we do.

When people ask “Do you remember that time on Real Housewives when ______?” is your answer is always “yes”? Are you so into Below Deck that you now have an extensive knowledge of yachting terminology? Did you tear up with joy when Andy Cohen announced that he was going to become a father?

Then, what are you waiting for? Send an email to [email protected] to learn more about the opportunities to join the Reality Tea team.

[Photo Credits: Bravo, Bravo]