I’m not going to lie, I’m really getting into Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. I am totally revisiting my younger self’s love of B2K. Plus, it’s kind of a nice switch to see a show where most (well, some) of the men are actually being good guys for a change. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only the first season. That won’t last. Speaking of, my three favorites, Fizz, Omarion, and Soulja Boy (in that order) are catching up over a game of basketball. They talk about how their lives are changing due to families and relationships. It’s a far cry from the the threesome conversations that took place in strip clubs on the Atlanta franchise. Across town, Nikki is dishing with her mom about her current situation with Mally Mal after tricking her into thinking the pair is engaged. Nikki’s mother may need her own show based on her assessment of Ray-J’s junk. Whose mother talks like that? I love it! Not to mention, she’s not Mal’s biggest fan.
Hazel is enjoying her new place, complete with Berg who wants to crash but not cuddle. She is excited about date night, and Berg is just happy to booze and get his. However, the next morning, he reminds her that they are just two friends, hooking up and having a good time. This goes right over her head as she gives him the googly eyes and begs him to become a better man. He’s ready to become a better man–and friend–to her. I mean, Hazel doesn’t have to even read between the lines here. Berg is spelling it out for her and she still doesn’t get it. How is she confused? Hazel wants more. She wonders if he expects her to keep sleeping with him when he’s bedding other women. Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what he wants to happen. Hazel is in tears. She can’t keep being a jump-off. Okay, then DON’T. This girl needs to get a clue.
Welcome Back Manzos!!! It’s a full house this time around on Manzo’d With Children as Albie Manzo and Chris Manzo have moved back home to save money to start their own business (another business? what about the bar? what about BLK water?). I’m curious how much money they actually save by living at home. You take away rent and utilities and groceries that definitely helps. However, I imagine they are still going out to bars, restaurants and shopping – which is where most of my income went at that age anyway. The key to saving money is actually making money (I’m assuming the Bravo salaries are plentiful) and so far every scene has been the boys lounging around at home like it’s summer vacation. Maybe the cameras are just capturing the weekends – but do these guys have any job right now??? Even if they are earning money from BLK or the restaurant on the side – that still requires doing some work. This Manzo business idealism throws me for a loop. Wanting your children to be their own boss in their early 20s might not be the best idea, Caroline Manzo. There is something to be said for busting your butt for a company, learning all the ropes and then maybe after 5-10 years you can be confident enough to do it independently. I have a feeling moving home had more to do with the show than saving for their “business ventures”. Sorry, I had to rant on this topic, it irks me to no end.
Oh Florida – poor state victimized by Jersification at the hands of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. They spewed their drama all over your pure Boca beaches and left nothing but the reeking wreckage of poison, Dunkin’ Donuts cups, purloined Virginia Slims, and deflated twins.
Jim and Amber Marchese are holding the living room hostage and Bobby has finally emerged from the bathroom. What a good little trooper! Mommy wiped his tushy and he skulked downstairs to be polite. Bobby is afraid of a pissy Jimonster revealing his secrets – like that secret girlfriend he has stashed away! And Jim has seen photographic proof!
Bobby denies it, then stomps back upstairs to hide in the bathroom. But not before yelling “Figaaarooooo” from the top of the stairs. Bobby the expression is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” Unfortunately your IQ under 12 misinterpreted that as, “It’s not over until the stumpy guido bellows off-key.” Lucky for Bobby he has ever-desperate ever-loving Nicole Napolitano to hold down the fort from HurricaneJim. She fails. Big time.
We begin with Lydia Schiavello and Andrea Moss having coffee and I squirm watching these two in cahoots about hating on everyone. They’re not even mean girls, they’re just bored and don’t have anything else to do. Lydia gets on the horn and calls Janet to be like, “why they he’ll you going to Gina’s fundraiser??!!”. Janet, who’s had enough of this fighting, is all, “I’m over bagging Gina”. Lydia and Andrea can’t handle that answer. Nope. They continue to berate Janet into not going and then blame their phone crashing for having to end the convo. Good for Janet! She’s over it (who isn’t at this point??!!) and is going to Gina Liano’s event regardless of Lydia and Andrea’s stupid reasoning.
The much anticipated return of fan favorite Malibu Madison Hildebrand, unfortunately, did not happen on last night’s episode of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. WTH??!! Bravo had duped viewers into thinking that he would be making an appearance this week. How could they do that to us?? The editing seemed a bit wonky last night. Hopefully, the producers have not cut him out of the show entirely and are just delaying our gratification. If they can bring back Bethenny Frankel on RHONY, they can work their magic to bring back our hottie by the sea. We want Madison! We want Madison! He was the yin to the Joshes yang. Now it’s just all yang. And modern box houses that everyone seems to be talking about this week. They know we want to see different real estate porn, right?! (Whispers) Malibu.
Speaking of modern box houses… Josh Altman has a new listing in West Hollywood with ‘Ilan the Developer’. This is the guy that he and Josh Flagg got in a fight over last season, which led to the slap heard around the world. Well, maybe just in Los Angeles. It was just a light dusting across the cheek, not an assault as ‘Josh the Jock’ likes to claim. Anyway, Ilan’s house is ready to flip. And Heather might have a buyer for him. This should be interesting! The house is actually not your typical cookie cutter new construction going up in the WeHo neighborhood. This 4171 sq. ft. Spanish contemporary has a terra cotta tiled roof, lofted ceilings, and a salt water pool. Ilan agrees to list it for $2.795m. A great deal if you want something slightly different than all the others and can afford it.
Welcome to Hollywood! The girls of the ALDC have arrived in California for Nationals. On last night’s Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller wanted to remind everyone that she’s a star maker. The original mothers and daughters are in the studio, and they are in shock when the select team arrives on their heels. You know it’s bad when even Holly is huffing and puffing about things. Abby shuts down the bickering by starting the pyramid. Chloe is on bottom because her foot injury wouldn’t allow her to dance last week. Christi announces that Chloe’s doctor has cleared her to dance. MacKenzie follows for walking the fine line between decent and silly. Nia falls to the bottom rung for not living up to her winning performance the week before. Kendall is in third, followed by Kamryn for playing up to Abby. No surprise, Maddie is on the top for balancing her amazing performances with her plethora of outside opportunities.
Overview: The first season of Atlanta Exes is brought to an end as each women makes strides in moving forward with their lives.
We start off this episode with Sheree Buchanan and Torrei Hart at The Roc, a gym. They are still talking about Tameka Raymond. Sheree is upset over the argument that happened at Tameka’s house. Torrei doesn’t want to talk it out with Tameka, but Sheree feels like she should talk it out with Tameka. Torrei feels as if Tameka is not trying to grow and is still dealing with all of her issues. This may be very true.
Sheree meets with Tameka. Tameka ‘worries’ about her safety due to Sheree’s outburst at her house. Sheree tells Tameka that she is upset that Tameka thinks that she is better than the other women, and that Tameka is condescending towards the other women. Tameka feels that Sheree is making a mountain out of a molehill. Sheree tells Tameka that she was hurt by Tameka’s actions, and she wants her to apologize. Tameka says that she is not ‘a huge apologizer.’ Then she offers this, “If I made you feel like you were inferior in anyway, and I am superior, I apologize sincerely. I am not like that. That is not me.” Sheree feels like it was a ‘half-ass apology,’ but she also apologizes for being disrespectful in Tameka’s home.
Is anyone else worried that someone is really going to get injured (injured bad!) on this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? These broads love to fight! Wait, how am I just now noticing that this is the first L&HH franchise that has boys men featured in the credits? I must overuse the fast forward button! Anyhoo, the show resumes with Teairra Mari and Hazel fighting over stolen thunder and non-existent relationships, when Ray-J arrives to dump on the party. Literally. He tosses a box full of Teairra’s things on the floor of the tattoo salon, telling her that he hated her blatant disrespect at his launch party. Ray-J has returned her Monistat and various other lady parts over the counter medications. At this point, Teairra tries to charge him, and he promises producers that he won’t hit a woman. Even though Hazel is still upset with her friend, she goes to bat against Ray-J. Her sometimes/former/friend/roommate deserves better treatment from this “has been.” Her words, not mine.
Nia is still upset with Soulja Boy for lying to her about another woman. He is just ready to move past the silliness. She looks like a young twenty-something lying in bed with a very tatted twelve-year-old. It’s creepy how young he looks. But hey, when he’s forty, he’ll finally look of age! Soulja placates Nia by promising to step up to the plate and change his flirtatious ways. He’ll even change his number if she’ll just stop nagging him! Meanwhile, Apryl is concerned about Omarion’s upcoming tour. She certainly doesn’t want to be left alone with his hateful mother. Omarion hates being caught in the middle of the two ladies in his life.