Last night on The Rachel ZoeProject,Rachel Zoe faced her critics, struggled with buyers over Maxi dress madness, continued her journey to actually understand what her husband does within her company and used a fur hat as fashion Xanax.
The episode starts in New York on the terrace; Rachel and Rodger are having a breakfast whilst basking in the glory of her successful show. Rachel starts complaining she hasn’t slept in like 3-4 weeks because she has been so stressed about her show. Rachel may have forgotten that most moms also suffer from a lack of sleep, it’s not just something for fashion designing moms. Rachel is procrastinating reading her reviews, and after some encouragement from Rodger she takes the plunge. She is pleased with the response and annoyed at her husband’s Goosebumps.
What every mother wants to hear during breakfast, err, lunch time: Mom, rather than leave last night's party like civilized beings, we jumped out a window. Actually, we were so drunk, we kind of just fell out. (paraphrased)
What Virginia fears she'll see in the town's gossip column: "Inebriated Broke Down Baby Dolls Fall Out Window" or "Mama Goose's Daughters: Drunk And Out Of Control"
What Harvin and Meyer (probably) often hear during breakfast, err, lunch time: I hope nobody saw you do that.
I'm starting to wonder if a storm is brewing with the ladies of Mob Wives. So far, everyone has been very civil. Renee Graziano and Drita D'avanzo decided to take out their stress through good ol' fashioned physical exercise, while Big Ang gets enough of a work out holding up her giant jugs. Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano were actually cordial to Dave's new girlfriend. Of course, Love Majewski still wants to beat Carla Facciolo's behind, but the pair has yet to meet. Where was Carla last night, anyway?
Last night begins as Ramona and Karen are heading to Karen's brother's storage facility to see if there is any evidence which would allow Karen's father's case to be reopened. There are boxes of trial transcripts and taped conversations. This is not going to be an easy task.
Renee shares with son A.J. that she's going to get an attack dog. He wants to slap her when he hears the pooch could cost upwards of twenty thousand dollars. A.J. thinks that his mom's paranoia are humorous. He wants his mom to lighten up and relax. She's hoping that they can do some mother-son bonding in a Krav Maga class. Not only will it allow the pair to spend time together, it will be another outlet for Renee's aggression. Yeah, that's not going to happen. A.J. tells his mother he isn't going along for the ride as she channels her inner Jackie Chan. Renee then practices some of her wrestling techniques on A.J. in a cute family moment. He really seems like a good kid.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we dealt with the ghosts of fauxlationships past when Bravo the ladies did everything in their power to force a confrontation between former business partners boyfriend and girlfriend Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson. Much to my dismay, that did not happen. As a small consolation we got several delusional talking head rants from Kenya and one Kenyantrum.
Before any of that happened Porsha Stewart tried to navigate the nearly impossible task of taking a pregnancy test. EPT stands for Error Proof Test… until Porsha gets her hands on it! Girl actually thought you had to pee for two whole minutes instead of waiting 2 minutes for the results.
Porsha and Kordell poured over the instructions in panicked frustration for about an hour like it was a map to buried treasure. And Kontroll doesn't want to hire a nanny? Lord help us all… And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Porsha pregnant before? She has definitely done the whole pee on a stick song and dance. Anyway, she's not pregnant. And poor Porsha looked really sad to realize that once again the yams had not worked. All she got for her troubles was some orange poop and one completely apathetic Kontroll. Worst. Reaction. Ever.
Season three of Duck Dynasty with the Robertson family is turning out to be everything I'd hoped for and more. We're treated to an endless supply of Si's one-liners, and Jase is still doing everything in his power to get under brotherWillie's skin. After all of these years, Phil is still hot for Kay, and there is no question as to how much love this family shares. Wednesday nights are great.
Last night's first episode begins with the boys comparing their beards in the warehouse. Who has the longest beard? Who has the thickest beard? Don't know? Let's ask Si who has an arsenal of beard jokes which reference 60 Minutes, Dora the Explorer, and Chewbacca. Si rules. Willie is going out of town for the day, and he needs his boys to make sure that business continues as usual. All Willie asks of Jase is that he signs for a package at 4 o' clock. We'll see how this goes!
At Phil and Miss Kay's, their grandson and his friend come by, but they are unaware that Phil has plans to teach them them the ways of the world. The boys are clueless as Phil whistles his words of wisdom. Meanwhile, in the warehouse, the guys are debating their favorite duck blinds to hunt. Si chuckles about Willie's absence, and Jase is happy to appease whatever dare his uncle is introducing. The men pile into Jase's truck and head out into the woods. The guys are in the wilderness debating wrestling lore. I adore the fact that Si travels with his own gallon of tea. Si spots a black cat cross the blind, and Jase finds it hilarious that most people think that black cats are bad luck. Si claims it's a panther. Wait, did the guys lock themselves out of the truck?
My new favorite reality family has quickly become the KardashianStanley Sisters. Gypsy Sisters has quickly found a special place in my heart and I can’t put my finger on whether it’s their general lack of a filter that makes them seem authentic and genuine or whether it’s because the strange and alluring life of a Gypsy that I have a general lack of knowledge on or maybe it’s because I have finally found a family that appears even more crazy and irrational than mine! Either way, these girls entertain the hell out of me with their hilarious one liners, over the top rituals and crazy parties! Move over Kevin Lee, Gypsy party planners are taking over!
So we start with a flash back to a miserable Mellie Stanley on her wedding day, falling down the aisle. Kaylagives wonderful words of encouragement starts placing bets on how long the happy couple will last. Kayla thinks Mellie won’t last 3 weeks let alone 72 days, snaps for Kimmie Kakes!
We now arrive at the hospital, Mellie has been sick for the past 2 weeks and that’s not all she’s sick of. Apparently she’s sick of her marriage, too. She announces that her marriage to Robbie lasted a grueling 6 days. I guess Kayla wasn’t actually too far off the mark with her prediction whilst she outlasted Nettie’s prediction of 24 hours. Mellie explains Robbie was going out partying and possibly cheating while she was at home living with her new in-laws, which you know, is a totally normal living arrangement. Call me crazy, but maybe these things like living arrangements should have been addressed before the holy moment of saying ‘I do’.
Last night we were treated to two full hours of Abby Lee Miller and Lifetime's Dance Moms. Not only were social issues tackled, Melissa found a very blinged out wedding dress and Abby went on a date with a former stripper. Good times, y'all!
The girls are back in the studio, and Kelly is wearing her finest bondage attire. Abby isn't thrilled with all of the second place finishes, but she's much calmer than normal. She says that everyone needs to be knocked down a few pegs…even Maddie. Abby isn't going to yell this week, she just feels that clearly the girls don't want to be winners. It is what it is. Passive aggressive Abby is almost worse than screaming Abby! MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid for allowing eleven looming points to come between her and the dancer who placed in front of her. Nia is next, with Abby content on blaming the fact that Nia was sick…and therefore sloppy. An also sloppy Paige finishes out the bottom. Maddie is on the second tier for bobbling, and the poor girl fights back the tears. Kendall is one above Maddie thanks to Jill's cut throat tactics. Holly is quick to say that she'd rather have her daughter low on the pyramid than utilize Jill's dirty tricks. Brooke is on the top, and while Kelly is thrilled, Abby reminds her that she has a target on her back. A timid Chloe raises her hand to ask about her placement. Abby explains that Chloe is still suspended, and she hopes that Chloe will realize that her mother is her biggest enemy when it comes to dance. Good times!
The group dance is called "Don't Ask, Just Tell" and is based on the policy of gays in the military. That's some pretty heavy subject matter, right? Brooke, Kendall, and Maddie get solos. Abby dismisses the girls and calls the moms onto the dance floor. She decides to yell at them for wanting a sweet dance teacher instead of someone who creates winners. The mothers then give their daughters a pep talk in the hallway. Abby enlists the girls into a boot camp. She wants blood, sweat, and tears…literally!
In the viewing room, Melissa admits that she's been looking for honeymoon destinations. Christi notices that her friend is wearing a wedding band. Melissa dodges questions as to whether she's already married, and the women joke about times in the past that they've tried to help Melissa plan her wedding. Why bother…they aren't invited! The moms are confused as to why Abby chose this theme for the group dance. Christi thinks this is Abby's way of showing support for the gay community. Holly vocalizes that she doesn't find it fair that Jill was praised for her sneaky ways. The other moms tend to agree with Holly, and Jill makes loads of excuses for her behavior. She's no longer going to hide the fact she'll do whatever to get her daughter to the top.
First, Catherine and Lindsay meet Sean's family, and Sean hopes his family's input will give him some much needed clarity.
Catherine is a ball of nerves and fights the urge to put up her guards. Catherine admits to Sean's family that she went into the Bachelor feeling skeptical, adding, "I didn't know how much I would learn about myself or that I would have feelings like this. It's beyond comprehension."