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shahs-of-sunset-mercedes-mj-javid

Last week on Shahs of SunsetMike Shouhed reached out to Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi. Sadly, I suspect GG was way too drunk to comprehend Mike's warning to get her act together. Also, Reza Farahan and Mercedes "MJ" Javid continued to play their passive aggressive games, purposely trying to hurt one another, and Reza managed to make Sammy Younai look like a real gentleman.
 
This week's episode starts with GG and Omid Kalantari out on a date. While GG munches on a big sausage, Omid admits that he has been partying with her friends without her. GG takes it well. GG says that her friends could combine their money, diamonds, houses, etc. and still not have enough money to buy any class, adding, "They call themselves classy… they put the ass in class." 
 
Omid goes on to tell GG that her friends told him that he's delicious and well-behaved when he's not around GG. To the camera, GG says, "I'm shocked. For real. Take the botox away, and I'm shocked." Not that much later, GG learns more about what went down between MJ and Lilly Ghalichi / Reza at the bar, and she says the night would have gotten "so dirty" if she had been there. Yet, she's shocked to hear that her friends don't want to party with her. 
 
Someone needs to tell GG: when life gets tough, the saying is "just keep swimming" not "just keep drinking."
 
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sister wives 2

Last night was the season finale of Sister Wives followed by a family interview.  We watched Logan head off to college, and we were teased with a Kody Brown haircut.  I can't say I'm sad to see it end…for now.  

Christine is freaking out about the closings of the homes.  Kody reveals that the family has yet to qualify for their loans.  Um, why are they doing this again if they can't afford it?  Kody and his wives head to the bank to pick out their options for their homes.  One at a time, the ladies pour over carpet colors and countertops.  Robyn is up first, and she's quick to make her decisions.  Meri is up next, and she's already over budget.  Meri is stressed about the money, but she still wants to see any potential upgrades.  Are you kidding me?  Kody is quickly getting frustrated because he thinks that a washer and dryer is way more important than special countertops.  Meri is on the defensive, and she's over it.  She leaves, allowing her sister wives to pick their options.  

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rhoa-recap

Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta lots of things were exposed. Some of those things had no business making it to the light. Some things should stay tucked away in the deep, dark hole of a strip club and be buried there underneath the layers of spilled bottom shelf liquor and old glitter. But alas dirt doesn't usually stay underground forever. 

Things begin with NeNe Leakes having a little come to Jesus talk with Kenya Moore. The best part of the whole scene was that NeNe kept her giant Elvis-in-the-seventies sunglasses on the entire time. NeNe tells us that her feelings on Kenya can be summed up with the word "delusional." Um – check. 

NeNe wonders about what is going on with this Walter person and if perhaps Kenya missed a a few editions of Cosmo – you know the ones where they talked about how to keep a man and how not to make him run as fast as his legs can carry him. Kenya is confused – she thought throwing herself at Walter would make her more desirable. NeNe is like, 'No. You have been begging this man for sperm something so desperate it reeks of curdled milk and that is not attractive.'

Kenya she starts warbling about how Walter's behavior in Anguilla scared her because she was in an abusive relationship once and she is at the age where she needs a commitment. 

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teen-mom-2-chelsea-houska-aubree

Last time on Teen Mom 2, Leah Messer and Jeremy Calvert made their relationship official. Kailyn Lowry dumped Jordan in favor of getting back togeher with Jo Rivera, while Chelsea Houska agreed to give therapy a try in order to (finally!) get over Adam Lind. Finally, Jenelle Evans managed to avoid jail time after failing a drug test and met a new guy, Josh

For reasons unknown, MTV decided to air Teen Mom 2 on Christmas Eve and began with Chelsea. Said in my best whiny Chelsea voice… uh-ugh…. Chelsea brings her orange skin, raccoon eyes, bleached-to-death hair, and frosty lips to the nail salon. Luckily, Chelsea and mom Mary have both removed their hair feathers, so there's room in the car for Aubree. Thank goodness for small favors. For a while there, I expected to see the hair feathers listed in the opening credits. 
 
I'm elated Aubree comes to the nail salon. She is adorable and makes Chelsea's scenes bearable. I digress. While Chelsea, Mary, and Aubree get manicures, Chelsea announces that she's dropping out of therapy. She doesn't think she needs to go because the therapist didn't tell her anything she doesn't already know. Chelsea is all like, Everything she told me about boundaries and healthy and unhealthy relationships, I've already heard from every other person in my life. Basically, Chelsea doesn't want one more person – a person with a "dishing out advice" degree to boot – telling her that Ad-dumm is no good for her. 
 
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rhom-reunion-recap

Last night on the Real Housewives of Miami reunion some serious grievances were aired. I mean grievances I didn't even know existed! Somewhere like a shot in the dark Ana Quincoces developed a case of the haters for Lea Black. Did I miss something here? Supposedly the tift originated from a blog Lea did snarking on Ana's kids. Whatever spurned this, it got nasty – not nasty nice – just straight up nasty. To me it reeked of eau de desperate to salvage a S3 contract!

Something about Ana speaking over people, speaking constantly for Marysol Patton, and suddenly developing a sneering distaste for everyone last night just didn't resonate well with me. I mean who died and made her Andy Cohen moderator of this reunion? Not Andy! I mean maybe she was over the BS all these women spout, but listen lady YOU signed up for reality TV and this is what RH of anywhere is. If you can't take the heat, maybe stop quooking. 

There's telling the truth and then there's being an ass. And what was that folder Ana was waving around that was swiftly snatched away in the editing portion of the show? Rumors speculate it was "proof" that Lea was up to some salacious behaviors prior to becoming the illustrious Mrs. Black. Other rumors speculate it exposed details of the Black's financials, including those pertaining to the The Black Gala that could discredit the event. 

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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, we endured Tuna Gate and Rockin' Josie. While Kristen Kish scored a double win, Danyele McPherson was eliminated for constantly falling short. 

This week, instead of personally introducing the quickfire challenge, Padma Lakshmi and Emeril Lagasse leave a note. The note directs the chefs to take three Toyotas (ohh! ahh!) to Taylor Shellfish Farm. 

When Josie Malave gets stuck in quicksand, Micah Fields and Stefan Richter come to her rescue. I don't know why. She's super annoying, nobody can stand her, and proving to be impossible to eliminate. Overall, the chefs are excited to harvest fresh oysters. They take their time, enjoying every second of the experience and slurping up fresh oysters as they go. 

Quickfire Challenge

The challenge: the chefs must prepare an oyster dish for Emeril. In the kitchen, there are five red aprons and five blue aprons. Red aprons will prepare hot dishes and the blue aprons will prepare cold dishes. The winner gets $5000. 
 
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rhoa-recap-001

Well it's the day before Christmas, commonly known as Christmas Eve, and all anyone on the island of Anguilla wants is for Kenya Moore to get some help – and go home! Going on vacation with crazy people is one of those unfortunate drawbacks of being on Real Housewives of Atlanta, I s'pose. 

Things begin with Kenya storming away after her massive argument with Porsha Stewart. Alas, no one could agree on who is the real tramp so they both stood up and started bickering about who is more fabulous. Answer: None of the above. 

NeNe Leakes is cackling so loud that her evil plan to expose the real Kenya worked that I thought lightening would descend from the sky. Far more generously, Cynthia Bailey admits that a lot of the stuff Porsha said about Kenya's age would have made her flip out too. 

NeNe is pleased as punch that there goes Kenya letting her crazy sprinkle out and finally explode all over the place. But Kenya has another surprising ally in Phaedra Parks. Phaedra admits that Kenya's ghetto behavior was out of line, but she likes Kenya and thinks she just lacks appropriate communication skills. Poor Kandi Burruss was in the hot tub and missed the whole thing. #priorities #kandikoatednights

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shahs-of-sunset-reza-farahan

Last week on Shahs of SunsetGolnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi expressed interest in cutting her pregnant sisters face, Mercedes "MJ" Javid accused Lilly Ghalichi of sexual pet endangerment, and Reza Farahan and Mike Shouhed blindsided MJ at the office. A heated exchange ensued. In the end, Reza walked out, saying to MJ, "Mike and I are going to go talk about real estate and you can make some nail appointments."

Fast forward to Mike and Reza's business lattes, Reza self-righteously says, "That's crazy. Who does that in an office atmosphere?" Reza, honey… you do. Reza says he's done with MJ because she called him fat and sided with GG. He sounds like a child.
 
Lilly introduces us to her sister Yassamin. I have to say, Yassamin is smoking hot. And she's naturally gorgeous. I imagine Lilly is too… but it's hard to tell under 100 pounds of makeup, hair, and boobs. Lilly could benefit from a serious make-under. Lilly repeatedly mentions that she's the younger sister because most people incorrectly guess her to be the older sister. 
 
Lilly, Coconut, and Yassamin go for a walk. While Coconut spins, Lilly asks her sister to join her at the group's next party. Yassamin doesn't understand why Lilly would want to hang out with these people…specifically with MJ and Omid, who have offended Lilly in the past. Clearly, Yassamin doesn't know how reality TV works. To us, Lilly voices her concern about seeing Omid since he threatened to back hand her the last time she saw him. She says, "I'm a little worried that he may throw another line like that at me, and my sister, being my older sister is going to get defensive. My sister is a f-ing tiger." 
 
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