Reunions often descend into a contest of who is the worst of the bunch. And this one was no exception. When the level of vitriol reaches the extreme harpy stage – it’s time to recast. We’re waiting, Andy Cohen…
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County no one redeemed themselves or came across as a grown woman. Does it ever happen that way? Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney are took their Over-The-Hill Barbie act on the road and switched hair for the day. I think Tamra got her wig from the Dolly Parton synthetic collection on QVC. They also wore the same color dress. Was it an act of solidarity?
Whomever did Tamra‘s make up should be fired, because she looked 55 trying to look 45. Not cute.
Also, what was up with Heather Dubrow‘s eyebrows? Girl, the botox needs to stop and don’t try to play it off as a tweezer malfunction. We know you had unsupervised alone time with Terry’s botox collection after a couple glasses of wine. Besides, don’t rich girls wax, not tweeze?
I also have to comment on Heather‘s country music star circa 1994 hair. This is a good lesson – do not let Gretchen style your hair, ladies! Or choose your dress.
Superfan and random twitter invitee Cheryl Minton tweeted a photo of her with Chad at the ceremony. Cheryl was invited via twitter when the recent widow told Chad and Evelyn her 30th wedding anniversary would have been this July 4th! Didn’t Cheryl get the memo that only the bride wears white on the big day?
Jim Bellino is nobody’s fool. Wait… what did I just write?! Anyway, he wears the big boy pants – and he wants Bravo to know it! The most detested of the Real Housewives of Orange County husbands is setting the record straight on Tuesday’s season finale party – and apparently not only did Terry Dubrow invite him to the party; Jim has the texts to prove it. Danggit Jim, don’t you go making me like you now!
In addition to Jim calling Terry out, Alexis Bellino is taking Queen Chesire CatHeather Dubrow and her fellow Housewives to task for pretending thatSarah Winchester, cake destroyer extraordinaire, was an uninvited guest. Like, duh, Sarah was, like, so for real invited by Bravo. I bet they even told her to wear that $3 Pretty Woman reject hooker dress!
Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.
‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!
Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra!
In her Bravo blog, Vicki compares Tamra to Jeana Keough, writing, “I…believe Tamra should not have chosenHeather [Dubrow]‘s party to replay her drama with the wine episode with Jeana. Remember why Tamra was mad at Jeana last year? To refresh your memory, it was because Jeana was getting involved in Tamra and Simon’s marriage and “butting in.” Hmmm. . .isn’t that what she has been doing with Brooks and I?”
Oh Real Housewives of Orange County – it’s almost time for us to part ways, but not before some magnificent drama. Oh, yes last night’s episode. Oh it was a silly bit of fun. Princess Thespian of All Times Heather Dubrow had a re-naming party which is not at all like a wedding, except it took the same precedence as a wedding in her mind.
And because it was the all-important end of the season cast party when Bravo makes everyone put on their mankiest fur coats and truck out to some godforsaken themed event, everyone was there. Like even the ones that aren’t really there, if you catch my drift.
But before we get to that little shin-dig, we have to wade through the rest of this episode. Things start out with Tamra Barney meeting Heather andGretchen Rossi for drinks cause she has a very special announcement. Tammie Sue is gettin’ married for the very third time.
Oh, Tammie – I love your optimism. This ones really gonna work isn’t it? This is like a Lifetime movie. Did I mention that I am totally obsessed in a big huge way with Lifetime – cause I am. And before you ask – yes, I watched Blue Lagoon.
So last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we watched Tamra Barney get engaged to Eddie Judge on the most amazingly romantic trip to Bora Bora. It was a beautiful proposal and a lovely vacation – and congrats to the happy couple. Dang, I’d date Eddie for a vacation like that.
There’s been a lot of gossip that this trip was originally planned for Gretchen Rossi and Slave Smileybecause he was going to surprise her with a proposal in the hopes of getting a spinoff, of course! Unfortunately – according to legend – Gretchen found out about Slave’s plan and flipped her shizz so Bravo offered up the trip to Eddie instead. And it’s a good thing that Gretchen refused to go, because while Eddie has a job, Slave doesn’t and we all know there’s no way in hell he could afford the Four Seasons and first class airfare to Bora Bora.
Now I’m not saying Eddie wasn’t planning to propose already – he probably was – but who would pass up a 5-star vacation to Bora Bora? Not anyone with sense, that’s for sure. Tamra is obviously beside herself that anyone would ever think such a thing and even went so far to get into a twitter snipe fest with former Real Housewives of New York star Alex McCord over the accusation. You know there may be no truth to it, but as Aviva Drescher reminded us last night where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire – and there’s been a lot of smoke surrounding this story.
Oh, the repercussions of Costa Mexico! Just once I’d love to write something happy or positive about one of Bravo’s housewives franchises, but alas, I may have to wait until 2013. Here’s hoping! Oh well, onto the Real Housewives of Orange County! Before we begin, let me start with a disclaimer I seem to tout with all of these housewives posts. These women are all pretty much ridiculous. (Not you, Heather Dubrow. Want to plan a wardrobe swap soon? I’ve got some great Target pieces I think you’d really love to wear! Call me. #eventrade)
With all the fallout from the recent intervention (you know, the one that let Alexis Bellino know she’s shallow and pretentious…so nothing like her co-stars), it was rumored that the reunion may be missing a cast member. Thankfully, Alexis didn’t pull a Jacqueline Laurita, and she was there to face Andy Cohen’s music with the rest of her O.C. cohorts.