On last night’s Summer House we met the newest housewife Jaclyn Shuman, and Do. Not. Like. So far. Sorry. Also, Lauren Wirkus got a first glimpse of the sleaze-o-rama that is Carl Radke, and Kyle Cooke finally, officially, had his last bootycall with the foolish Amanda. Well that’s what he says anyway.
But first we must break-down the hot tub wrestling match that went on between Kyle and Everett Weston the night before. Ashley Wirkus has never seen water slash so high as when Everett threw it at Kyle’s slurring mouth. Ashley – you could walk to the beach which is probably like 8 feet from you. She crashes Lauren and Kyle’s slumber party to reveal the details of the fight. She’s shocked Everett got so worked up over Kyle trying to simmer down his argument with Lindsay Hubbard.
On last night’s Summer House, Fourth Of July fell on a Monday, which meant the party continued for one more lovely day!
Despite having to venture back to the city to begin a hellacious 3-day work week, the housemates threw a ‘casual’ BBQ brunch, where they frolicked in flag-adorned wardrobes, then strapped on their respectable fisherman’s sweaters and chinos to jettison back to reality later that evening, or in some cases, 4 am the following morning.
Yes, in Montauk every minute is a minute you could be consuming a cocktail, or dealing with a c–k! (or is it dick – I’m conflating the two with good reason here). The rules of Summer House are governed by Kyle Cooke and his roving eye.
If you haven’t yet been wooed by the idea of men-children in tight white chinos paired with pastel polo shirts, then I implore you to tune in OnDemand, if only to better appreciate this recap. Because taking a cue from any good Bravolebrity, everything is about Me! Me! Me! Even Summer House. Last night we got our first taste of Montauk living from a bunch of late-twenty/early-thirty something New Yorkers who spend their summers in a rented mansion partying, playing girls (and each other), and wearing pastels.
With the least popular members of Vanderpump Rules partying in Montauk for Stassi Schroeder‘s birthday (a national holiday if you are a self-absorbed brat!), they introduce us to Summer House via Stassi’s friendship with Lauren and AshleyWirkus.
What this means is TWO HOURS of Vanderpump Rules drama! Is that a good or bad thing? I don’t know… What I do know is that you can meet the cast of Summer House below!